I ended my reality adventure 4 years ago • I wish Assif would win, but two months after our breakup, I realized how much he was no longer in my house

Everyone recommended ignoring and broadcasting "business as usual" but I've never played games for you and I have no intention of starting now: it's really hard for me.

Farewell to Massif was incomplete, probably because we were both incomplete with her. For the past two months we have sent scrolls to each other, often he came with flowers and cooked me fish, we hugged until the ribs cracked.

All my mother's, my friends' and even the psychological farm's efforts went down the drain. One look in his eyes and I forgot why we got to sleep.

Must have happened to you too.

Now add that audition and horror scenarios, believe me - I imagined them all. Including falling in love with my eyes in the other and crying until blood drops.

I gave him the blessing of the road, all the encouragement and support - and I wanted to die in the same breath.

But just now, when he enters your house, it is always clear to me that he is no longer in my house.

He chose another house, in the full sense of the word. And so, the abyss that started in the first place really only intensified - I crave stability and family and he went into the opposite experience, I'm ripe and ready to take root and he's in search of advanced, I want a loving husband and baby in my bed, he is in spoons with 15 strangers.

I wish he won, he wished he was amazing. I wish he got out of there big and I wish it would make his life. But I ended my crazy reality adventure four years ago. I have come a long way since then, today I have other dreams.

And yet I am there, imperative, whenever he mentions my name.

If I had a penny on every "wish you come back" message - I'd be rich. It excites you that he declares that he still loves, who said he left his heart out. I did not watch, I do not want to, but you made sure I knew, my installers of the romantic romance.

So it is important for me to remind you and myself - we did not break up because we did not love, we broke up because we are not in the same place in life, and not only does it not change, it is, as stated, increasing. I have no doubt that you are doing this for pure good and therefore I am writing to you: If in my favor you ask - I should be relieved to hold on to my reality and not to the reality of others.

I want to concentrate on the house now, and the tenant will love me with deeds, because the words seem to have no power as they think.

So if you sometimes come to strengthen me, I want what I really need - one to sign a lifetime contract + two or three partners.