A great relief. The families of the 400,000 children living under shared custody in France were reassured Monday evening. Because in the list of exceptions to containment announced for the government to stem the epidemic of coronavirus, is that of "moving for the care of his children". The travel certificate posted on the government website is therefore enough to justify his journey between the two homes.
"For a few hours, we were very afraid of being able to see each other for several weeks," breathes Myriam, a Parisian whose two daughters were still with their father in Seine-Saint-Denis at the beginning of the week. We will therefore be able to continue our usual rhythm, being very careful when we move the children in transport. History of not bringing the virus into our homes. "
Victor also takes this risk seriously since he hasn't seen his twins for a week. This manager, who works between Asnières-sur-Seine (Hauts-de-Seine) and Lille where his sons live with his ex-wife, has moved to his home in the North. Where he will be forced to fourteen days of isolation to avoid any risk of contamination. “It's long, but essential. We do not know how long this confinement will last, explains the forties. It will be long for parents and children alike. It is up to us to be patient and adapt by having the maximum flexibility between adults. "
"The first time we've been apart for so long"
The same dilemma for Magali, cloistered in her apartment in Rosny-sous-Bois (Seine-Saint-Denis) with her six-year-old daughter, a few hundred meters from the house where her former companion lives. "She would be much better there where there is a garden, but he has barely returned from a trip when we, we haven't seen anyone for four days already," slips the mother, worried. It may be worth the wait. We still have to discuss it. "
For some, the separation was suffered. Especially when hundreds of kilometers separate the two homes. “I live in Bordeaux and my seven-year-old son goes up every two weeks to spend the weekend with his father in Paris, explains Mélanie. On Friday, he took the train normally, but there was some concern about what would be done after the schools and public places were closed. He could have come down again on Sunday, but there was no question of him getting on a TGV. So he stayed with his father. We decided that we would stay there two weeks before we each drive half the way for the return trip. But it's the first time we've been apart for so long. It's a little scary. "
For some families, the wait could even become forever. "I live in Provence with the three children of my new partner," slips Stéphane, 34-year-old municipal employee. My ex is in Lyon with my 14 year old daughter who has two half-brothers. We don't have cars and we're not going to be able to take the train. We will therefore follow the instructions to the letter and wait, hoping that it will not be too long. In the meantime, we still have the phone and the video conferencing apps. It's hard, but we have no choice ”.
"Risks of parents tearing each other apart"
Many former couples have had these debates for several days. And amicable solutions are completely allowed. Small arrangements with the strict framework inscribed on the divorce decree are indeed authorized, the latter being the rule "unless the parties agree better". The length of stay for children can therefore be lengthened or shortened and the fixed exchange dates modified, provided that the two parents find common ground. In the event of a conflict, however, the situation will be very delicate to manage while the courts are currently closed to the public.
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"When we are seized, it is an oral procedure where the two versions of the parents are heard on the basis of an adversarial debate," explains a family affairs judge. But right now, it's impossible to hold hearings. There are risks of parents tearing each other apart without intervention. "