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Carina Spack (left) won against Jade Übach
"Taking away the big Sat.1 celebrity sandpit molds" would have done it too.
In God's name also "making the big celebrity nettle on your arm" or "pinching the big celebrity in the cheek".
Those would have been adequate fighting disciplines that would have corresponded to the maturity and quality of the most banal feuds, which were supposed to be finally resolved that evening through direct, physical confrontation - thugs as a peace negotiation, that sounds like an absolutely plausible idea.
Especially in a mood and in a year in which the pressure cooker seals in the skulls are so porous, where so much anger and the concept of proportionality has long since disappeared.
"I'll finish the pig," gasps actress Doreen Dietel in her training film, the pig in this case is Gisele Oppermann, because the "Germany's next top model" victim annoyed her in 2019 when they were together in the jungle camp.
Trash TV Tinglers Jade Übach and Carina Spack want to fight each other because they somehow must have overlooked the small print in their format contracts, i.e. the passage in which it is explained that the possible love partners in the Bachelor Versum are not hygienically sealed and are supplied in an appetizingly unhandled way , but that she may have already licked someone else.
And the dome format Gockel Oliver Sanne and Yasin Cilingir have been fighting an Insta-Story feud with a lot of Kikeriki about the point of contention, which of them is the more gockeliger for some time.
The long, very long evening will be moderated by Matthias Killing, Sarah Valentina Winkhaus and Melissa Khalaj, and one thing has to be said above all: Cathy Hummels was done a lot of injustice for her recent appearances as a card reader.
Soulless sentence stacking and complete nonsense blatantly waste airtime, most of the interactions between Killing and Winkhaus consist of him asking her a question and she gives, well, some kind of answer.
Exemplary conversation before the fight between Doreen Dietel and Gisele Oppermann: Killing: "What do you think you will see tears?"
Winkhaus: "I think you don't know."
In between, Winkhaus renders the symptom interjection "çüş", which is currently popular with younger people, unusable for all time by first marveling at a fight ("Shüüsh, how it goes!"), Then the value of the e-bike to be raffled off during the break: "Shüüsh, 10,000 euros!".
Backstage reporter Melissa Khalaj delivers the best, actually only joke of the evening when she says: "I'm standing in the middle of the cauldron, it's boiling here", in truth she's in the saddest hall in the world.
Later, in an interview with a defeated person, she had some illuminating things to say about boxing in general: "In boxing there is a winner and a loser, and unfortunately it was you."
Cackling laughed at cotton ball attempts at jokes
Somewhere in between there is actually fighting, and these duels turn out very differently: Sometimes four rounds of wild knocking with Jade Ürbach and Carina Spack, then an almost sporty fight between Oliver Sanne and Yasin Cilingir, finally a surprisingly faster technical knockout than Gisele Oppermann handles a tumbling Doreen Dietel in two rounds.
The fight between "Love Island" man Marcellino Kremers and "Goodbye Germany" emigrant Steff Jerkel was downright creepy: Kremers thrashed Jerkel completely out of his mind, with rowing clout arms, as you otherwise only see in running characters in old Korean cartoon series , and the only remotely interesting thing about that evening would actually have been the result of his doping test.
Julian FM Stöckel and Matthias Mangiapane competed in the last fight, and you probably don't have to wait any longer for a boxing match between two gay men no longer with the question "Do they fight according to men's or women's rules?"
and is commented on with cackling, laughing at cotton ball jokes.
Or, to put it with Winkhaus's moderation low point: "Now the wild dogs are chased against each other, or is it the bitches in heat?"
Duelist Stöckel, as always dressed in a turban, was the only one who at least briefly relaxed the bizarre doggedness of the rest of the participants during his prancing run-in with cheerful grandeur. The inter-round instructions from his coach were also amusing: "Then you do the bears! "
Unfortunately he had to give up quickly, the fight was too grueling.
Mangiapane won, as did Carina Spack, who both completely exposed Sat1's half-hearted anti-bullying statements after the debacle of "Celebrities under Palms" as half-living chatter: Spack and Mangiapane had themselves in this trash format as highly poisonous figures proved, now the two were allowed to continue on the boxing stage, because blunt agitation is so amusing.
"If I see you, I'll get a rash / Maybe it'll be better if I hit it" are the first lines of Spack's specially written diss song against Jade Übach, with which she entered the ring.
And after the celebrity boxing, the repetition of "Celebrities under palm trees" ran.
How long will it be until Bastian Yotta box against the Currywurstmann?
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