How I Reacted When A Widowed Man With Three Children Proposed Me To Marry At 25

Graciela Lo Gullo

10/16/2020 22:01

• Clarín.com

• Society

Updated 10/16/2020 7:26 AM

This story begins when I was around 13 years old (today, 69).

An aunt of my mother who could "read hands" read them to me - hidden from her - and predicted that my destiny would be a "widowed man."

At that time, I remember, I started to cry because I was thinking of so many stories where the father, without a wife, marries an “evil stepmother”.

I kept reading

I grew up and tried to forget that omen but it was impossible.

I finished high school and together with many friends we followed the same career, Economics.

During those years I did not have time for "love" and I only dedicated myself to studying hard to finish my degree at the right time.

So it was, in five years I graduated as a Public Accountant and two years before I graduated I started dating a neighbor from the house.

, but there were important things in which we did not agree and we decided to stop seeing each other by mutual agreement.

My mind returned again and again to the words of my mother's aunt: “your destiny will be a widowed man.” As soon as I finished college I was lucky enough to start working in a small accounting firm. It was a curious story: the Head of the study was also head of the Tax department and in the last exam he took me on subjects that I hadn't considered important. Jurisprudence, for example. Obviously, I didn't pass.

Graciela Lo Gullo and Raúl Sánchez the day they got married, along with the three children from his first marriage.

The next day when I went to get the notebook, he asked to speak to me and said: "Are you working?"

I told him: I am about to start working as an Accounting Teacher at the school where I did high school, but only for two days and in the afternoon.

He looked at me and said: "

theory, I'll give him my card, call me and maybe start working with me."

I took my notebook and his card and the following week I began to work with him and his assistant (an accountant who taught me all the practice that the Faculty does not teach).

As I was missing that single subject, I asked for a special table for April and I asked “my boss” not to go… it was going to be very difficult for me to give up with him at the table.

Luckily it was not and I passed with a nine.

After a year and a half, one of the clients, to whom I took all the accounting, asked "my boss" if he would not allow me to work with them (it was a large wholesale hardware store near the Cid Campeador).

Graciela Lo Gullo and Raúl Sánchez, standing (she second and fifth from the left) with several members of the extended family.

My boss said yes - they were close friends - and so in October 1975 my life would take a complete turn.

They were all men, and I had a small office on a mezzanine from which I could see the whole business.

At the same time, a new Acindar salesperson began to visit us (he was our large supplier) to take orders.

At first he came once a week, then twice, until later it became customary to come every day, of course it was not necessary.

.

I didn't know much about her life, only that she had three beautiful children (she showed me photos) and a woman with whom she spoke sometimes on the phone.

I only saw her once, because she went through the hardware store with him (they were going on vacation) and that's when I realized that I could never compete with her.

Every time I saw the white Peugeot park at the door of the store, I started to get nervous and I said to myself: he's married, forget it.

On any given day one of the owners invited me to lunch to see if I was comfortable with the job and then I was encouraged and told him: the only problem is "Sánchez" (the surname of the Acindar salesman), he is always in a bad mood.

He replied: "Graciela, Sánchez has a problem: he is a widower" (a year and a half ago) and it was the result of an illness.

I couldn't keep eating and couldn't tell her the story of my hand reading.

When I got home, I told my mom and she said;

"You looked for it so much that you finally found it, now take charge."

From that moment we began to talk in a different way until one day he encouraged himself and told me: "I would love to start a family again but it is complicated, I have three backpacks and it will be very difficult for someone to accept me" and added: " If I told you: would you dare? "

And it came from my soul and I said "why not".

I was 25 years old.

We talked about that woman that I had seen only once and she explained to me that she was a great friend and something else that

.

Our courtship was only seven months, I had the unconditional support of my father but not that of my mother.

She told me: "You don't know what you are doing, as you are going to do with three boys of 9, 6 and 5 years old, think about school, its customs and your work."

Before we got married I changed jobs and with great regret I left the large hardware store to a large accounting firm.

I met the boys three months after I was dating Mr. Sánchez and he introduced me as a friend.

Shortly after, he asked them: "Would you like Dad to remarry?"

and all three said: "Yes, but with Graciela."

My debut as a mom was in a newsletter delivery for Paula (the oldest).

(she's traveling, she's sick…).

He called me at home and asked if I could go as his mother (we weren't married yet) and I said yes.

I will never forget the faces of the other mothers when I entered the room.

Paula's mother appeared!

I was young and because of my age it was impossible for Paula to be my daughter, but nobody said anything.

The first test I successfully passed and from then on everything was happiness for those three boys who all they wanted was to have a family.

Suddenly they had two grandparents and three very young uncles.

The wedding was dreamed, the boys were waiting for me at the altar with who would be my husband.

My mom took them to the country for a month so that I could get used to the new life.

When they returned, classes began and there I was buying uniforms and adjusting my schedules to theirs.

The coexistence grew and

.

I remember that my mother worked with a gynecologist-obstetrician and she herself took blood for the test.

When he called me at work I was happy and when I asked my mother - are you happy? - she replied: "Yes, of course, but don't forget that I already have three grandchildren, this would be the fourth (it was Juan)".

At that moment I did not understand mom's reaction, over time I realized her great grandmother's love for three boys who had lost everything and now they had recovered it.

I kept working in the big studio until we moved to Olivos and I got pregnant again (Vero was born).

There I made the decision not to continue and dedicate myself to taking better care of the boys.

Life went on well, we enjoyed outings, summers (all together in a dream place near Monte Hermoso where the seven of us went together with my parents and brothers to a hotel on the beach).

Always with Raúl we tried to make the relationship of the five grow strong and we were succeeding.

In Olivos's house they shared more than just games, they became inseparable despite the age difference.

(they have formed a group of five who enjoy being able to meet, who celebrate the achievements obtained by any of them, there is no envy or words behind, they talk about everything and that, to Raúl It enriches us and we can say: we did a good job, it cost a lot but we succeeded.

Two years after Paula (the oldest) finished secondary school, they began between the two logical frictions between a “mother” who wanted to continue demanding things and an adolescent “already a woman” who needed other spaces and other moments.

At the beginning they were discussions about issues that today, from a distance, I see silly (you did not accommodate your bed and your clothes, you have to start washing what you dirty) that were filing the relationship so good that we had managed to build in those almost twelve years .

There came a time when we no longer spoke to avoid the discussion and she tried to be almost nothing at home and luckily she sought refuge in my parents who shared moments with her, lunches on Sundays and even with her boyfriend who would be her husband.

Raúl kept his distance from this problem because it

and luckily the relationship of the five was still intact.

At the beginning of the year 91 we talked a lot with Raúl and decided that continuing to live like this was very difficult.

We decided to put our beautiful house in Olivos up for sale (with two floors that we had enjoyed so much) and with the result of that sale, we bought an apartment for Paula and fix a smaller house that was unoccupied (the maternal grandfather of the three boys had lived with whom they never had a relationship, not because of me but because they did not want ... their grandparents were my parents).

The move took place and Carina (the second daughter) decided to accompany her sister in this new life.

I remember that Paula's only request was: "Please, daddy, don't separate me from my brothers, once a month we eat the six of them." That's how it was and the boys were happy and Raúl too, it was obvious that I was sad, but I always privileged the relationship of the five with their father. I clarify that Germán (the third son) lived with us. The strongest moment was in April 1993 -a year and a half had passed since the move- when Raúl told me: “Paula is getting married ”And I answered:

.

Raúl met his future in-laws at a dinner organized at my mother's house and when he came back he would be seen happy but I knew that in that meeting I was missing.

In May of that year, Raúl had a complicated pneumonia (he had to be hospitalized) that triggered a major blood glucose peak.

In the sanatorium they did everything and more to discharge him but he did not improve.

The clinician who had the case called me and said: “Here is something else happening, we are doing everything to improve but nothing.

Is there a problem you would like to tell me about?

I started to cry and I told him and that doctor - today our primary clinician - told me: what is the problem in going, you don't have to be the godmother or sit at the head table.

Think of everything you can miss from now on, think of your own children and how bad they are going to be for not seeing you and if she doesn't value what you do, it's not worth it ”.

I left the office, went to see Raúl and told him: "I made the decision, I'm going to the wedding."

I remember that he hugged me very tightly and said:

.

Within two days I was home happy.

When Civil Day arrived I was very nervous and I thought: I hardly know the boyfriend and not to mention the parents, how will they look at me?

Like the stepmother of the stories?

At the end of the ceremony, Paula came over, hugged me tightly and said.

"Never further away."

I clarify that both the boyfriend and the parents treated me as ten, as if I were really Paula's mother.

I enjoyed that day, I enjoyed the church wedding, I enjoyed the party but the best moment was when I held Facundo, my first grandson in my arms… I felt a strong chill all over my body and I said to myself “It was very important to take the first step.

I thank God, my parents, Raúl (amazing partner) and my five children and seven grandchildren.

A small suggestion: do not cover the possibility of being happy;

dare, that nothing prevents you from living.

----------------

Graciela Lo Gullo

studied Economics at the University of Belgrano.

I wanted to work on a large audit firm.

But she did it, freshly received, in a small studio and then in a company.

Later he managed to fulfill his dream and after several exams he belonged to an excellent training place for great professionals.

With the arrival of her fifth daughter, she chose the path that most excited her: being a full-time mother, leaving behind that dream already fulfilled.

A simple notice in a newspaper led her to become a teacher, a passion she exercised for 36 years (discovering a hidden gift: "storytelling"), helping in the training of young people who are today great professionals (and whose children she has also come to have of students).