The distance between the secular and the ultra-Orthodox world, innocent nostalgia, love that overcomes all obstacles and disillusionment with every parting from a loved one • Impressions from the funeral of the late Ilana Rubina
The late Ilana Rubina
Photography:
Photo: Moshe Frieden / GPO
Uri Zohar buried his first wife, Ilana Rubina, in the Yarkon cemetery yesterday (Sunday).
A small quorum accompanied Ilana, the daughter of Alexander Penn and Hannah Rubina, on her final journey.
Uri Zohar said Kaddish, kept the closet at all times and kept up with the pace of the walk, considering his age.
With his other hand he leans on a cane and is supported by his son Itamar.
The composer of the song "Bless" composed by the musician David Zvi Winkrantz and who won Ilana first place at the Hassidic Singing Festival, played the song on accordion and the accompanying audience sang with him when the scroll on Ilana's grave was closed by members of the burial society Shmuel Gutman and Shmuel Toib.
On the way I reminded him that his good friend Arik Lavie is buried here.
Uri told me "I know, I was at his funeral and I pray for the upliftment of his soul. I miss Arik Lavi the most. We had a very special relationship."
Shoshik Shani, the widow of Arik Lavi, and her daughter Noa, exchanged memories and said goodbye.
When Zohar appeared at the funerals of his friends in Bohemia after he repented, he used to bow his head and did not interfere with the attendants.
He eluded an occasional messiah and curled up inside himself.
His modesty was perceived as arrogance by someone who did not really grasp the concept of modesty.
People who asked for his closeness then felt that in the modesty he demonstrated he further distances his friends from his segregated lifestyle.
At last night's funeral, Uri Zohar enveloped everyone in love and brightened everyone's faces.
At first they looked at him suspiciously and took a distance, then got used to it and approached him, one in turn.
Uri Zohar, the undisputed king of the Israeli bronze, on whose throne no stranger sat and no one will inherit his honor, was there and had enough for everyone.
They respected him and he respected them.
Even the conversations became moderate.
As Zohar approaches the age of 90 it is clear to him that there are people with different opinions of his own.
At the end of his life he realizes a simple fact of life: he will not change them and they will not change him.
When coexistence is maintained with dignity, even "being right" suddenly seems less important.
There was no argument and Uri did not have to face any experience.
Time has done its thing.
Suddenly the secular camp is not so threatening and the people behind the wall are human and in the image of his image.
Flesh and blood like him.
It is precisely in such moments, out of the rift and according to the tomb, that grasses and new flowers grow.
***
I called Uri Zohar and his wife was on the line.
I asked if he was going to the funeral and offered him a ride from Jerusalem.
She said he was leaving and already tidy but wrote down my number.
Before I left I picked up the phone again and Uri was on the line.
"I'm fine," he replied.
"Thank you so much for thinking of me."
In the last few weeks I have talked to Ilana and she barely spoke, but she was kind and polite.
She said there are enough people who can talk about her mother and Uri Zohar and even said that she feels very connected to her mother and thanked me for calling.
I showed weakness for her songs and impatiently waited every Friday for the chilling song "Confession," written by her father the poet Alexander Penn, which is regularly played on the Gimel network before Shabbat.
In times gone by Ilana was impatient and there was no chance of prolonging the conversation.
Recently something in it softened and she remembered how at the end of the canopy, when the cantor led the Zohar couple to the uniqueness room, to sit there for a moment, as is customary according to the ceremony, the two refused to go out for long minutes and the cantor had to knock on the door several times.
When the British comedian, Peter Sederam, who visited Israel, witnessed the performance of "Little Tel Aviv" at the Hammam Club - after the performance he was particularly interested in Uri Zohar, who asked him why he did not develop his comedic talent seriously.
However, the conversation between the two comedians was often interrupted by his wife Ilana, who each time pulled her husband by the shirt and hurried him home.
Ilana Rubina was given the exclusive nickname "Zohar Girl", by virtue of being Uri Zohar's girl.
Since then she has hardly left the hammam club.
An original way to maintain her relationship with her choice of heart, Ilana found immediately upon arriving in the United States, where she sent Uri Zohar a film about a recording device, on which she recorded her impressions and poured out her soul, along with a large cigar.
Before her marriage to Uri Zohar, she was asked who she would vote for in the election and replied "I sold my vote to Uri, for a pair of shoes and a new dress."
***
Uri and Ilana were seen a lot in the company of the parents who accompany them everywhere.
Their anchor was the house and the family was always there, even in awkward moments when Zohar was in a guillotine and lying in the hands of Hannah Rubina, lying in a vomit outside a ballroom in Dizengoff and spewing his gut on the sidewalk in front of every man.
The family anchor was dropped and the first lady provided last resort before the couple's painful breakup.
The mother and daughter of the aristocratic Rubina family had a hard time accepting both a father and a groom who are addicted to a bitter drop.
People were willing to pay money to be present at the farewell ceremony, where Ilana said goodbye to her husband Uri Zohar before boarding the plane that took her to the Polish Singing Festival.
Ilana: "Will you miss me?".
Uri: "First you go, then we'll see."
When Uri Zohar interviewed the beauty queen candidate, he heard that Vivian Del-Chianco is a model.
"I'm already seven models," he told her, "and one model, my wife, is getting married today."
He did not mean his current wife, but Ilana, who married a third.
Remember, it was only after they divorced, and married Elia, that Uri Zohar's descendants began to come into the world.
***
Uri Zohar has a thick notebook with a list of his friends and he says Kaddish about them.
Now Ilana, his longtime wife, has been added, and Uri will also say Kaddish about her.
And as he roared the Kaddish on her grave with the rest of his strength in a hoarse throat and with a great cry, I have no doubt that his prayer will skyrocket, skyrocket and will be willingly received before the throne of honor.
