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This is what you can learn about your children from Donald Trump

Donald Trump's loss in this week's US election is not very different from the reaction of a 10 - year - old boy who loses a game.

So how can children be educated not to grow up to be Trump?

Here are some important things to know

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• parenthood

• Children

• US Elections

• Donald Trump

National Foundation

Monday, 09 November 2020, 00:05

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In the video: Trump says they are trying to steal the election from them (Photo: Reuters, Editing: Amit Simcha)

US elections occupied most of us last week, and rightly so. Beyond the profound influence that American Presidential election, 46 against Israel, and all the world, what interests us is no less a closer look on the winning side and the losing side, because we are all very familiar with the sensations.

This week, Long before the results were clear, said Donald Trump, the incumbent president, “it is easy to win.

Losing is not easy. "A one-moment trial, along with allegations of fraud in the polls, accusations of fraud in the counting process and the decision to deliver a victory speech despite Jen Biden's lead, gave a glimpse of his child and the personal logic Trump formulated somewhere in Queens in his early years.

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Just like the president of the world's great power, our children also formulate their own personal logic in the first decade of their lives.

In adolescence they focus on the lifestyle and create an unconscious action plan that will allow them optimal movement for them in the world.

They create their unique and subjective perception of reality following contact with environmental factors, the most prominent of which are the parents, the atmosphere in the home (values, beliefs and customs), the family structure and our ways of education.

If along the way, no conscious change is made in it - the worldview from childhood will accompany them for the rest of the days.

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And here, for example, even at the age of 74, the president, the multi-millionaire, the brand, stands on its hind legs to be saved from the situation it has been trying to avoid since it was a child - to be the loser, the weak, the one who has been overcome.

Children's response to losses is a warning sign

We all, of course, prefer to be on the winning side.

But in life as in life - we do not always get everything we want.

A kid who 'gets stuck' on a loss slams the door behind him because he can't handle the fact that his sister defeated him, deletes Fortnite from the computer because the company "killed" him, starts a war over a daily request to shower or responds escalating to any decision he was not involved in - apparently Suffers from a shaky sense of belonging and feels valued and meaning only when his hand is on the top, otherwise he is nothing, zero, nada.

Either he's the best, or he's nothing.

Trump on election night (Photo: Reuters)

According to Dr. Nira Kfir's theory, any such negative situation will eventually become an IMPASSE - an interpersonal situation in which we feel meaningless, helpless, rejected and even paralyzed, which will direct us to make a strategic detour so as not to reach that unbearable impasse. IMPASE is basically strategic choice to avoid reaching for what is perceived as intolerable for us.

In this context, negative events have a greater effect on us. as well as the reactions of parents meaningful, long and more consistent to such events it just amplifies the effect on the positive events such as success, good intention and effort.

In addition, The more authoritarian the home (where the parents are in control and aim to raise a child who will meet the demands) - the child may conclude that the world is run by those in power and that the most dangerous thing for him is to lose.The difficulty of the child emerging from the parent or weaker, usually during play Or social interaction, calls us to intervention and invites us to make a change in family conduct.

Choose to influence

In order to raise a child who will not see life as an ongoing struggle but will feel meaningful and valuable, and thus also be able to better cope with failures and losses, we need to positively influence his perceptions and thoughts about himself and his ability to integrate into society.

Here are 5 steps that will bring us closer to the goal:

1. Formulate for ourselves a parental vision that will allow us a long-term view of the adult we are raising.

Examining what values ​​are important to us and what infrastructure will allow us to reach these goals.

2. Open in 'peace' conversations and mediate for the child in a conversation that brings closer and respects our desire for change.

Reflect on the impact of unwanted behavior on the atmosphere at home and on it, and think together about ideas that will help us start a different family routine.

Your relationship today will affect their relationships in the future.

Mother talks to her daughter (Photo: ShutterStock)

3. Give space to the child's ideas and invite him to participate in our experiences, dreams, thoughts and decisions, consult with him and ask for his help, thus raising his sense of usefulness and contribution that is most needed to the sense of belonging of each and every one of us.

4. Turn power into strength and help a child who is used to seeing the world in black and white understand that power does not have to be physical or be activated in opposition to someone but can express inner power and produce an intimate and new reality.

We will tell him that he is a strong child and we will explain why, we will encourage successes and effort, cultivate optimism and faith in him, and serve as a model and example for him of strong people from within.

5. Expand the right to choose and cultivate the child's future ability to be a separate and independent entity.

In order to be an adult with his own opinion, an initiator, one who gives freedom to his creativity and takes responsibility for his choices - we will put the child in the circle of decisions at home from today and we will be able to choose from several options.

Just before the family upheaval, it is important that you remind yourself that the character, logic and perception of reality are shaped by the children in the home.

The relationships we create, the media that will support them and the bond that is tightened - have a huge impact on their self-confidence today, and on their functioning as they grow older.

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