In captivating honesty and in hard-to-absorb amounts, shopping addicts describe the emotional process they go through and the heavy price they pay • From staring at the screen to euphoria
Studies: Women tend to be more addicted to shopping than men
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Lucky I work in Corona, because I shop even when I have no money for shopping, "confesses Gali, 32, from the north, who declares herself an addict to online shopping." Everyone is on social networks all the time, and I have no time for that because I search apps and shopping groups for what to buy And where is the cheapest.
All my free time and interests are just focused on that. "
Gali is not the only one addicted to online shopping.
Although most of us release jobs on big sales days like Black Friday today, there is almost always a sale on some site - and that's before we even start talking about sites where the items are cheap in the first place.
The Corona period has exacerbated the situation: when the shops are closed, we have no choice but to buy almost everything online - from basic food products to home furniture.
And that's how it starts.
Go to the site to buy "just one thing you really need", but very quickly get sucked into it.
The availability, convenience, speed with which you pay for the products almost without feeling the waste - creates a familiar effect that credit cards create.
According to it, if you do not see the money being wasted, it is easier to click on "PAY" even without taking the card out of your pocket, if you bothered to keep its details in the previous purchase.
Not to mention the minimum order required to get free shipping.
So let's add another tank top to £ 26 and "save" the shipping.
Sounds familiar to you?
Destructive vicious circle
"Shopping addiction is not registered as a defined psychiatric diagnosis," explains Dr. Shira Sobol, a senior lecturer at Bar-Ilan University who specializes in addiction treatment, "but she is under impulse control disorders.
I see more and more people applying and telling about very high expenses in relation to income, credit cards that the family members did not know existed, the use of private business money and more. "
What causes this urge to want to buy all the time?
"As with any addiction, here too it is just a symptom. The desire for escapism, dealing with feelings of emptiness, compensation for shortages. Sometimes trying to get reinforcements through buying, but the problem is that it does not really cause happiness or fill a pit of mental hunger, but guilt. "A vicious circle that expands over the years. You buy to feel good but feel bad because of the money wasted on products you don't need, and then you buy again to calm that emotion and so on."
How can one distinguish between sane shopping and those out of addiction?
"It's fine to occasionally indulge in a garment or product, the problem starts when it becomes a coping style where I try to resolve a mental conflict through this behavior. If regularly it's through my compensation, if I devote time to it at the expense of work or family time, take out loans Or getting into debt to finance your shopping - it's an addiction. "
Did the corona cause normal shopping to become addictive?
"During the Corona period I treat addictive behaviors less harshly, because it really triggers such things. The closure, the endless sitting in front of screens along with the lack of other satisfactions - not flying abroad and not being able to buy in stores - have exacerbated the tendency to buy online.
The corona also exacerbated mental states.
If someone was lonely or anxious, now he is lonely and more anxious, and when there is an escalation in an emotional state, there is an appeal to addictive behaviors to regulate these feelings.
Turning to online shopping is a way to regain ownership of the freedom taken away from me, and as if allows me to feel that living areas exist that are still managed and under my control.
"It's just an illusion of control, because people who become addicted to shopping will soon lose their freedom and, as with any addiction, become more and more enslaved."
"You can't measure a garment, and it's a thrill"
Back to the waves from the north.
"I buy a lot of things I don't need," she honestly declares of her weakness.
"Clothes, bags. I have no place to put the quantities of shoes I bought during the Corona periods. I would be happy to get rid of some of the things."
How do you manage to finance all these acquisitions?
"I live with my parents and I still work, and that's my luck. I was considered a spendthrift even before the world of online shopping, and I would buy even when I had no money - double what I earned. So today I do not get into debt, but I can not save and it bothers me. "Before this period, I would have bought much less. If you had not talked to me now, I would probably have bought perfume."
What attracts you so much to this?
"It's awfully easy to buy like that," she mutters simply, "my credit cards are inside and my hand is light on the trigger. I don't measure the clothes and it's kind of a risk, and there's a thrill at risk. But the biggest thrill is when the package arrives. "After I open it and see what I bought I say 'Okay, I have another million of these, why did I need it'?"
How much do you spend on shopping a month?
"About 5,000-4,000 shekels. In the past I got into debt and took out loans and it even came to execution. I had a debt of 100,000 shekels and the creditors pressed me, and I took myself in hand because I had no choice. After a few years I closed all my debts. I have Credit card only three years, but recently called to offer me another one and I went for it. "
"Anxiety, depression and poor image"
Even if you managed to elegantly ignore shopping sites, Facebook and Instush are full of groups that "help" you find the cheapest items and share your reality.
Facebook groups like "Make-up, grooming and equal shopping addicts", "My shopping at shein (Shine)" and "ASOS Israel" are just a tiny part of the offer that only adds to the confusion and load of stimuli, under the guise of let's get you in order.
What is beautiful about shopping addicts, at least those who were interviewed for the article - is the sincerity.
They seem to see sharing as a kind of therapy and part of the experience.
Here is N., 42, from the center, a member of one of these groups on the network.
"They took us abroad, Eilat, so I found myself doing more online shopping, buying a lot of things I don't need," she half complains, half describes a dry reality. "My last purchase was boots for NIS 890 that I wasn't supposed to buy." , Or a freezer I did not need.
I bought it simply because it was at a good price.
The credit reached almost NIS 20,000 this month. "
Do you go to these sites to buy or are you bored?
"Sometimes to buy something I need and sometimes just to look. I wanted to buy wet wipes and went out with a microwave and an eco tin that was on sale. And I didn't have to, I could go on with the current tin. I bought an evening dress for 2,000 shekels, it sits in the closet "Before. Before the corona, I relaxed a bit with the shopping, but it brought me back to the edge."
Would you like to stop?
"Unequivocally yes, but my screen time just keeps going up, mostly at the expense of family time. It's a feeling of compensation for things I don't do. Without cafes, restaurants, vacations, what do we have left?"
Shopping addiction does not cross classes, but is simply more common and more publicized.
Do not be confused by the huge numbers that are published following the crazy sales days of November and December.
According to studies, according to Dr. Sobol, women tend to be more addicted to online shopping than men, which again floods the issue of culture that sanctifies their appearance, more so than men. "There are not enough studies on shopping addictions," she clarifies, "but About 6% of the population suffers from shopping addiction, and it is estimated that only one-fifth of addicts are diagnosed because it is considered legitimate in our society and consumer culture.
Significantly, most addicts are women.
We also see more women in our clinic than men, especially in their late 20s to 30s.
Many women suffer from anxiety disorders, depression and low self-esteem. "
One of the cases reported by Sobol, in which the details and names were changed to prevent identification, is that of Noa, who came to her for treatment after her partner was shocked to discover unusual expenses on the credit card.
"Noa confessed to her husband that she spends thousands of shekels every month on clothes shopping at various sites," Sobol reveals, "and although she knew about the severe financial consequences of her actions towards her family, she could not stop. At the beginning of the treatment we worked on controlling any addictive behavior. She learned to identify the triggers that lead her to buy - for example in conflict situations with her partner, and the feelings before buying - loneliness and feelings of inferiority.This allowed an opening to think of alternative ways to deal with these feelings, such as trying to postpone the purchase. Sporty. "
Apart from the national sentiment and her personality traits, which often ironed out as if there was no tomorrow, Noa's broader connections from the past and family were revealed.
"Later in the treatment, Noa shared with me about the cold house where she grew up, and that she was the one who took care of her sick mother and actually took care of everyone except herself. She was left with deep emotional deficits accompanied by hunger for heat and admiration. Then she discovered the online shopping world. At various sites, and for the first time in her life she began to feel alive and acting for herself. Following the purchases she began to receive many compliments, and for the first time she began to feel 'visible'. Every time she received the package in the mail she said she felt just like a little girl. Shopping to regulate these feelings until the situation escalates and they have accumulated heavy debts. "
Karin Almkeys, 26, from Ramat Gan, has no problem identifying with her name, and also admitting that she buys a lot of things that are not effective at all.
"I buy everything with an express owner, but everything," she sketches her own profile.
"Right now there are about 50 products on the way to me. I also buy products like i-Robot and tablet, and also nonsense like a finger-shaped orange peeler. I have a wish list of more than 1,000 items, and I have to sort them by categories as well."
There will be those who will say that your time is more valuable than what you buy.
"Now I'm self-employed, but when I was hired it robbed me of a lot of time at work. Even my friend does not always like that I buy a lot, especially since I have almost no room in the house for anything already, so I show him only what I know he will want, and that causes some credibility problems About.In the end he somehow always gets excited even if he was not in favor in the first place.Now I started a shopping recommendation group on Facebook called "Oh my cart!
"I pay a price because I buy things I do not always need, but the price is small compared to the pleasure it gives me."
Although Almkeys is aware of her addiction, not everyone is like her.
"There's a lot of denial in this section," Sobol observes. "Usually the addict will turn to treatment, if at all, only at later stages, when debts have accumulated. The border, it becomes a problem, an addiction. "
