Every child develops their own character. In order to grow up healthy and happy, parents should encourage their offspring's development in certain ways.
If you want a happy relationship with your child or children, you should think consciously about your upbringing and take new paths, according to the credo of psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Shefali Tsabary. What is crucial is to recognize the exceptional types of children and, as parents, to know and understand how you can strengthen your own child's development. Basically, every parent is capable of raising happy, healthy, empathetic and emotionally stable children. But in practice, raising children is not easy for many parents.
While some parents focus on their parenting style in order to optimize the relationship with their child, from Dr. Tsabary is rather helpful in first understanding your own child based on six typical characters.
Parenting: Psychologist explains six extraordinary characters of children that parents should know
Helicopter parents, lawnmower parents, panda parents, submarine parents - today's various parenting methods are as special as the children that go with them. What stands out, however, are their character traits, which the psychologist divides into the following categories:
Fearful, sensitive and impulsive
Restless and unruly
Adaptable and frugal
Shy and introverted
Rebellious
Balanced and relaxed
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1. Appropriate parenting for anxious, sensitive and impulsive children
If your child is particularly sensitive, impulsive and irritable, this essentially shows emotional strength. In order to better control this force of his being in difficult situations, your child needs your help. It is important that you remain calm in moments of unrest and anger. “If your child is particularly sensitive and prone to violent outbursts of anger, anger and restlessness on your part will trigger a kind of 'tsunami' rather than calming the child down,” says psychologist Dr. Tsabary. Instead, help your child to become calm in critical situations by breathing deeply together with him and placing your hand on your own chest to literally feel how the heartbeat and body calm down.
2. Proper education for restless and unruly children
Children who are particularly restless feel like they are constantly in motion and find it difficult to sit still and pay attention. It is often not easy for them to follow their parents' instructions. “Adults then tend to label these children with unruly character traits rather than seeing their curious, passionate and life-affirming attitude,” says Dr. Tsabary describes it. Therefore, it is important for these parents to know that their children are good just as they are, despite all social conventions. And it is better to understand and support your offspring than to succumb to possible feelings of shame caused by outside influences.
3. Proper education for adaptable and frugal children
Adaptable and frugal children always appear happy on the outside, even when it comes to listening and following their parents in various situations. These children supposedly like to take on household tasks and sometimes also fulfill parental duties - for example when it comes to supporting siblings. Since it is not always easy for such children to set boundaries and give their own needs enough space, you as parents should try to protect your child's boundaries. “The risk here is that parents don’t recognize their child’s real needs. It is important that you convey to your child that it is good and important to set boundaries and that life is not just about pleasing others. “It’s okay to say ‘no’ sometimes,” advises the psychologist.
4. Appropriate education for shy and introverted children
Reserved children are usually shy and introverted. It is not so easy for them to approach others proactively. It is not uncommon for parents and educators to observe that more introverted children prefer to be alone and less with other children. Bestselling author Dr. Describing the challenges with this character, Tsabary recommends: “Society may try to convince you otherwise, that your child should be more extroverted. Help your child feel confident and emphasize their strengths. Show understanding for his need to spend time with himself, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s not about trying to get introverted kids to be someone extroverted that they aren’t to begin with.”
5. Proper education for rebellious children
Rebellious children seem to have a mind of their own; it is not easy for them to do something unless they really want to. If you see your child as a little rebel, it is first important to accept him or her as such. Children with such character need to feel respected for their determination. The psychologist tells affected parents: “Let go of control and judgment and show understanding that your child is following his own needs with full self-confidence.”
6. Appropriate education for balanced and happy children
The balanced children are often relaxed, optimistic, in a good mood, happy and less demanding or bossy. It may happen that some parents perceive their overly relaxed child as unmotivated and unambitious. If you as a parent also see yourself in this position, try to turn this characteristic of your child into a positive, that it is a gift to always approach things with joy and balance. “What parents don’t know is that these children are actually masters at enjoying the present moment and can essentially be a role model for their parents,” admits the psychologist, who is a mother herself.
This article only contains general information on the respective health topic and is therefore not intended for self-diagnosis, treatment or medication. It in no way replaces a visit to the doctor. Our editorial team is not allowed to answer individual questions about medical conditions.