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Couple love in the times of the coronavirus

2020-04-17T01:37:14.760Z


Enduring confinement and other things of wanting


I hope you have seen the video from the Ohio Health Department showing the importance of the safety distance so that we can get out of this catastrophe. It is to be put in a loop. It relaxes me every time I see the stocks jump through the air as a result of the friction of each other. There, huddled. As if they were in your living room and you saw them rolling it brown, but acting as a mere spectator. Too bad we are all one of those stocks and, with those of us who have locked ourselves in, the rest. The importance of the distance that we can maintain in our confinement will depend on the triumph of personal relationships between the prisoners. And, like the stocks, the slightest movement (or comment) causes drama.

The locked model is not one. Pity. If there were only one model, we could analyze it as well to know what to do. But there has been no luck. So it is certified that coexistence in general, the family in particular lives an anomalous situation that, we think, was going to be shorter. We imitate China in its isolation policies to face the pandemic and we had better look at what happened during its isolation. In Spain, the same increase in divorce lawsuits that arose when they began to leave their homes is expected. As it has happened in the Asian country.

"Couples must be sustained in the individuality of each of their members. Just because you love him very much does not mean that you have to do everything with him or her. It is much healthier that you have something to tell him, that you participate with that person than you You experience in individuality that both submit to the obligation of having to live it at the same time. Sometimes, the story of a triumph, of something that has been achieved and that is sought, is an exercise in personal satisfaction for the person who has achieved it and tells it, and a source of pride for those who find out what happened " . Thus speaks Marta Ibáñez, a psychologist specializing in sexology and couples. "In any circumstance, however extreme it may be, we must try to maintain this premise."

 Difficult. And the smaller the house and the more people there are, the worse.

Sharing spaces and seeking joint pleasure

Experts recommend that each family member try to have their own space inside the house to try to avoid more friction than is strictly necessary. "If the father is used to being in the room with the computer working, the children play in his room, the mother works in another room, coexistence is minimally bearable. But who keeps that premise?" Paloma Alonso, an online therapist, is aware that the difficulty in many cases is as simple as the lack of space. "Sharing the tasks will make everyone have their own responsibility. But sharing everything: cooking, cleaning, shopping. Having each one a function in the family organization chart helps us to spend our days. The problem arises when, on top of that, we try to desire. That feeling, to manifest, needs to overcome all the fear and discomfort that may arise in this situation.

MORE INFORMATION

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And pleasure, believe it or not, is a survival mechanism. This is how Almudena M. Ferrer, an expert sexologist in training, expresses herself. "When you eat, because you're hungry, you get the pleasure of feeling your gut full; when you have high libido and receive sex, you get a chemical response in your brain for the amount of endorphins that an orgasm entails. You get a prize." But the sexologist does not hide the gravity of the situation we are in: " It will be very difficult to connect with your sexual energy after this. And even more so to try to connect with that of your partner. Female sexuality is very different from male sexuality . , which can cause that when one wants, the other does not. We must accept the situation we are in and assume that there will be good days and other terrible ones. As it is important that the desires of both members of the couple are similar or, at least , that they agree, it will be necessary to look for spaces, themes and actions in which they connect. Because the pleasure they experience will be an injection of self-esteem, a breath of pleasure and satisfaction that, given the circumstances, are scarce. "

The displays of affection act as a balm in the face of the uncertainty and fear that possesses us. And the absence of that affection would be of unimaginable consequences, more in the situation in which we find ourselves: "Mammals touch each other. There is not a single mammal animal that does not need to feel contact with the others of its species. Otherwise they go crazy. "

I hope not. The only thing we can hope for is that hopefully this doesn't happen. We will see.

Follow me on Twitter and Flipboard and listen to me in 'With everyone inside'

Source: elparis

All news articles on 2020-04-17

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