12 mistakes no parent should make

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Accompanying, caring for and educating our children is an arduous task, full of obstacles and setbacks, but at the same time exciting and extraordinary. You learn to be a mother or father at the same time that our children learn to be children. So let's be patient, adjust our expectations, and be able to enjoy the best trade in the world.

- Who has taught you to be a mother?

- I learn the trade as you get older.

- And how do you know what to do?

- I let myself be guided by my intuition and accepting that every mistake is my best teacher.

You certainly learn by doing, walking the road, admitting the bumps and enjoying every good moment. Being a mom or dad is a long-distance race, a path full of life lessons, where long-term goals are achieved with great doses of serenity and confidence. A journey in which there are no shortcuts, magic formulas or methods that will ensure our success.

A wonderful job that radically changes your life from the start, that makes you unlearn every day and leave your comfort zone. That she gives you daily first times, love in abundance, love without condition.

A shared route forever that, at times, makes you feel fragile and exhausted but at the same time is capable of achieving your best version. Where the criticisms or opinions of others make you feel vulnerable and the difficulties that appear throughout the different stages fill you with insecurities, complexes or guilt in search of a wrong perfection.

An itinerary that gives you the opportunity to learn to trust your intuition, to accept that you learn much more from mistakes than from successes, to understand that you have the right to doubt, to express how you feel.

More than 15 years practicing motherhood have taught me the need to find a balance between my life and those of my children, to know how to take care of myself to be able to accompany calmly, to enjoy every little moment even if I do not always have the solution to a doubt or difficulty.

I hope that all the moms and dads, before exercising the profession, would explain some of the mistakes that we should not make.

1. Believe that educating consists of teaching or indoctrination. education should focus on awakening, on spreading the desire to learn, discover, investigate or create.

2. Love the child we love and not the one we have. Sometimes our expectations do not match reality and drown our little ones, let's accept them as they are. let's not project our frustrations onto them.

3. Believe that there are shortcuts in education. the art of educating does not contain magical methods that tell us what to do or not do. So it will be time to be patient, be present, set long-term goals, learn from experience and trial and error.

4. Pave the way to prevent them from suffering or making mistakes. Let's avoid being overprotective and assume that adversity is part of their lives. Let's avoid making them dependent, insecure, and without a good tolerance for frustration. let them fall, try, err and start over.

5. Forget how wonderful it is to be a child by depriving them of time to do the most important activity for their development, which is playing. Let's not cram their agendas and allow them the blessing of boredom, the best ally of creativity.

6. Ignore or minimize the feelings of our little ones. emotional education should be the backbone of our education. Let's teach how to name what happens to them, to express doubts or fears, to share what makes them vibrate, to connect with emotions without fear of feeling.

7. Hear without listening, using a different code. Dialogue must be a pillar in education with our children. Let's learn to converse with the desire to understand each other, to give value to our words, to listen empathically, to respect their way of thinking or doing.

8. Act according to our state of mind. the rules must always be the same regardless of the day we have had. Let us always act in the same way, controlling the mood caused by fatigue or stress. Let's avoid the disparity between mom and dad, let's work as a team.

9. Educate without limits and responsibilities. If our children grow up without clear rules, they will be children with difficulties to live in society. Let's teach them what to do or not do, let's make them responsible for their decisions, motivate them to take risks and assume the consequences of their actions.

10. Constantly comparing our children with the rest of siblings or other children can only provoke jealousy, envy and low self-esteem. Each child deserves to be educated in a personalized way because he is unique and unrepeatable, responding to his needs, making him feel unique, believing in him.

11. Speak and act with little coherence. example is the most persuasive language and that is why we must be consistent between what we do and say. a bad example will fill our education with incongruity and disappointment.

12. Not asking for help when we need it. Let's share our doubts or fears with the people we love and trust the most, let's look for moments to cultivate our hobbies, let's take care of ourselves to be able to accompany with great tranquility, common sense and humor.

There is no perfect mother, but there are a million ways to be a good mother, Jill Churchill.

** Sonia López Iglesias is a psychopedagogue, teacher and trainer of families and teaching teams. Expert in emotional education and communication. In love with the adolescent stage.

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