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How the Covid further complicates the obstacle course for adoptive parents

2020-12-01T21:24:27.785Z


The journey of adoption abroad is already long and complex in normal times. But the coronavirus crisis has made matters even worse, plunging some families into inextricable situations.


Élodie * and Florian * were to pick up their 3-year-old daughter in China last February.

Going to find Lia

*

has become an impossible mission

,” explains this forty-year-old woman

.

When Asia was confined, France was not, then vice versa - when I could have gone to China, France closed.

And then there was the second confinement ... Each country works differently, we don't know how long it will last, and we are afraid of a third confinement after Christmas.

One has the impression of waiting indefinitely, and, during this time, the children are alone in the orphanages

".

A couple of friends, who also wanted to adopt in China, had however succeeded in going to the country, arousing a strong surge of hope in Élodie.

But, once there, the authorities explained to her friend Alexandra * that she could not go to the orphanage where her adopted son was, because it was not possible to move from region to region. 'other.

To read also: "The proposed law on adoption is not really guided by the interests of the child"

Several families, about to leave in February or March to pick up their children, found themselves with their beaks in the water, without flights, without planes, without children.

Closure of countries and courts, silence of administrations, freezing of procedures, delay in approval procedures, inability to obtain an authorization to travel ... In the age of the coronavirus, while adoption is already a journey long, complex and arduous, today it is even more difficult to adopt abroad.

For Nadine Pinget, president of the Adoption Sans Frontières association, it is "

a disaster

": "

waiting two or four more months is enormous for a child in an orphanage - in a short time their state of health can worsen

», She warns.

And then it generates enormous stress for families,

” she adds.

Anne Royal, president of the Association Enfance et Famille d'Adoption (EFA), a federation of 92 departmental associations, confirms to

Figaro that

she received, from the first confinement, "

several calls from parents about to adopt in distress. psychological

”.

Read also: How love comes to adoptive parents

"These couples were committed, and suddenly they have the impression of having to give up a project, a relationship in which they have already invested a lot

", assures the psychologist Yveline Exbrayat who works within associations for adoptive parents.

For her, this period can sometimes be compared to "

mourning

".

Powerlessness

The situation is all the more difficult for parents to accept as most associations and support groups are also on hold, leaving the adoptive parents alone to face their anxieties.

Élodie and Florian would have liked to share what they are going through with other adoptive couples, but their association no longer intervenes: "

as nothing is progressing at the level of adoptions, they preferred not to prolong the exchanges, even by Zoom

" .

"

The attachment process has already been activated with the start of the pairing, and the adoptive parents find themselves feeling helpless.

 "

Yveline Exbrayat, psychologist specializing in perinatal care

If some wait impatiently to meet their infant, for others, who have already forged links with their future child, this situation is even more serious.

The adoptive parents find themselves in a situation of helplessness which brings them back to the initial feeling of the first phase of adoption.

The attachment process has already been activated by the pairing, and all of a sudden everything stops - they have to face a cut in the dynamic that they had set in motion

”, analysis by

Figaro

Yveline Exbrayat, psychologist specialist in perinatal care.

"

They have the impression of regressing and they do not know when they will be able to see their child again

", adds the psychotherapist.

According to the specialist, if parents who embark on an adoption journey are certainly used to a stretching temporality, the Covid-19 constitutes an "additional

brake

" which "

gives the impression that this situation will be endless

”.

"The virus is the coup de grace"

Adoption has been in crisis for a long time.

The pandemic has only accentuated already existing problems,

”confirms

the spokesperson for the Adoption Sans Frontières association

in

Figaro

.

"

The virus is the coup de grace

".

For the past ten years, adoption abroad has steadily collapsed.

According to figures published by the federation of adoption associations in France EFA (Childhood and Adoption Family) and the International Adoption Mission (MAI), depending on the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, only 421 children have been adopted. abroad by French people in 2019, compared to 615 the previous year, in 2018, and 3,017 ten years ago, in 2009. The peak of international adoption over the last twenty years had was reached in 2005 with a total of 4,136 children adopted by French people.

Today, "

fewer and fewer children are adopted internationally

", deplores the EFA.

In France, according to the association, the number of wards of the state is around 2,700, and only "

a little over a third

" are adopted.

One of the reasons given by the LREM member of Isère, Monique Limon, for tabling a bill facilitating adoption for unmarried couples.

A text that presents several risks with regard to the protection of parents, according to several associations co-signers of a forum in

Le Figaro

.

Abroad, to remedy this structural decline in adoption aggravated by the epidemic, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs tried, as early as March, to organize “

humanitarian

flights

, as an alternative to commercial flights, so that the children can join the French territory and their adoptive parents, reports Anne Royal.

But, despite the negotiations undertaken by the ministry, some countries have refused to send the orphans, their legislation requiring parents to spend several days there before picking up the child, for "

socialization stays

".

“One of the causes of this complication is that the pandemic means that some countries have to waive their own adoption laws.

However, all are not able or do not wish to do it

, affirms the president of the EFA.

Despite everything, the adoptive parents remain hopeful, clinging to the idea that, "

on the other side of the world, there is someone waiting for us

."

* First names have been changed

Source: lefigaro

All news articles on 2020-12-01

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