(CNN) -
Tensions in my home have skyrocketed after nine months of being together at home.
Little mundane scenarios that wouldn't be a big deal in a pre-covid world, like putting milk in a different place in the fridge, are enough to start a fight between my wife and me.
The boy who asks me for the 18th time to turn on the television puts my nerves on edge and makes me lose my patience in a way that I never would have before.
Don't get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful to be able to see so much of my precious family.
I am even more grateful for the privilege of being able to work from home and limit my exposure to COVID-19.
But I also feel the pull and tension of the outside world that weighs on our patience, and the reality of being in small places with the same people all the time.
As winter approaches and the possibility of getting stuck indoors looms more so than spring, summer, and fall, this can only get worse.
How can we prepare to stay sane and get along?
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"Covid-19 has put pressure on relationships, especially people in family, partner or roommate situations who are not used to being together so much indoors [spaces]," said Damon L. Jacobs, therapist marriage and family graduate in New York.
"With winter coming and covid rates rising, I advise people to implement some tips for social survivors right now."
Too much bonding
Many of us went from feeling like we never had enough time to see our families due to long days at the office, commuting, errands and activities, to being on top of each other 24/7 and feeling like we see each other too much.
Despite how much we love and appreciate each other's company, we may be spending too much time with our housemates.
Being in the company of others all the time, at times, has led us to the maximum irritation with our partners.
Jacobs' advice is to stop being right and choose your battles;
communicate your feelings using first-person statements rather than assuming you know how the other person is feeling;
and take responsibility for your own feelings instead of blaming others.
Replacing "should" with "could" when thinking about how other members of your household might act or react to something, Jacobs said, can help avoid conflict.
Take a break
It could also be time to take a break.
When we are not negotiating our emotions and expectations with our family members, we could work on planning our escapes.
“We all need to get away from each other from time to time.
To stay sane, de-stress, and revive, it's probably time to push your boundaries or set a few to have a much-needed space between you and your family or roommates, ”said Susan Newman, a social psychologist and author from the New York area. York.
The saying "absence makes love grow" is not just a cliché.
The time you spend away from loved ones can actually bring you closer, as documented in a 2016 Cornell University study.
I found that small acts of separation can help, like closing my office door completely instead of leaving it ajar while I'm working so I can't hear my family.
Noise-canceling headphones and a nostalgic playlist transport me to another time and place.
And if I feel like I only need a few minutes to myself after a 48 hour period with the whole family, all the time, I will excuse myself to rearrange my clothes drawers or read the newspaper.
In those cases, I usually have about four minutes alone before my toddler demands my attention again, but even that short time only helps me regroup and find my center and calm.
“Sometimes the only way to escape is to get out of the house.
Designate a time to walk or jog and tell family members that you will be leaving.
In bad weather, go to a different part of the house if you have the space, but don't give in to requests during the weather you decide to do so, ”Newman said.
Still, even though I may find myself longing for that lonely trip to work I've always dreaded or feeling my blood pressure rise as my family members talk to each other while trying to watch my favorite show, I still choose them every time, tension and all.
Turns out, I'm not alone.
Couples who spend time together are happier, according to a 2016 University of Minnesota study that followed thousands of couples over a seven-year period.
I do not know what factors winter will bring us: increased rates of covid-19, political unrest.
Hey, I got a tornado warning the other day, maybe a unicorn stampede is coming.
Whatever happens, I'll be grateful to face it with my family, however much we tease each other, with an occasional break to tidy up my sock drawer or take out the trash.
Allison Hope is a writer and native of New York who prefers humor to sadness, trips to television and coffee to sleep.
