It hit me like a thunderbolt on a clear day.
I was standing in the living room, and in an instant I realized that the solution was to move the pictures above the piano and hang them above the couch.
I was so moved by the fact that after a year and a half in the apartment this wall was finally solved for me, that I immediately went to get a hammer and nails and hung the pictures.
Okay, great, but now what will be above the piano?
Obviously!
The picture above the bed will be above the piano, and the picture above the desk in the office will be above the bed.
I was very pleased with myself for a full 20 minutes, until I went into the children's room, put the folded laundry in the wardrobe, and saw all the mess and toys thrown on it.
Well, now that the whole world saw (I mean I saw, I was home alone) that I have amazing taste, I felt empowered enough to decide to buy a new wardrobe for the nursery.
The dresser can be taken down to the warehouse, immediately after we rearrange it.
And when I say "we will rearrange the warehouse", I of course mean that I will rearrange it.
• • •
I know that for Avigdor Kahalani it was a surprise, but we women have always known that we can be tanky without a problem, mainly because of those moments when you want him to move something heavy from one place to another, he doesn't perform the task fast enough for your liking, so you just Do it yourself, while deliberately making noise and not making eye contact, so that he feels guilty.
Then it turns out you can easily lift three times your own weight, you just need enough holy rage.
The fury was holy enough that it would last me both the storage room and the porch, where I cleaned behind all the flower pots, got rid of all the broken toys and painted the new bench.
Oh yes, I also went to buy a bench because the children's chairs were left outside in the rain and got ruined and then I bought paint for the bench and a brush and at the same time I was also interested in vacuum cleaners, because you know what would look really good under the sofa and the pictures above the sofa?
Very true - a tapestry, the tapestry posted on the marketplace by a woman from Be'er Ya'akov.
The woman from Beer Ya'akov was very surprised at the ease and speed with which I rolled the huge carpet and loaded it onto the vehicle.
Maybe she's single.
• • •
But if we go back a moment, after choosing the cabinet I want from the store I want, I remembered that there is another person here that should be involved in the decision, specifically the one who has been leaving the old stove outside the door for a week instead of taking it down to the warehouse.
Why an old stove, you ask?
(Men who have made it this far - well done to you) I bought the new stove after choosing a dishwasher.
dishwasher?
Oh, yes, my father-in-law bought us a washing machine.
I don't think he particularly wanted to buy us a dishwasher, he just didn't want to wash any more dishes, and he only washed them in the first place because his partner stared at him, so he immediately got up to do it.
Still, he is not a boy and knows a thing or two about life and women.
So I chose a dishwasher and also a new stove, because the fastest way to heat soup on the old stove was to insult it ("You call yourself a chicken soup?? At my grandmother's place, the chicken would jump into the pot just for the honor of being smooth"), and if there is already a proper dishwasher, So that he washes the soup pots.
A technician came with the stove and another technician came with the dishwasher and then also a carpenter, because I mistakenly chose an integral dishwasher, and although the dishwasher is definitely an integral part of the family, this is still a rented apartment.
Soon my father will come to hang the new lighting I bought, because if we are already in the kitchen, then we will see what we do.
By the way, he doesn't know about it yet and there is a good situation that he is discovering together with you.
• • •
Do you know the butterfly effect?
Moving two pictures in the living room cost us, in the total calculation so far, several thousand shekels, and the hand is slanted.
Theoretically, it might have been possible to stop this snowball by temporarily removing me from the house or from the credit cards, but I have a brother in Gaza and also a best friend in Gaza, and if I decided that this is my way of coping - I'm sure you can find a psychologist who will say that it is true.
And what if you are the helpless couple watching from the sidelines?
How will you end the cycle of horror?
How can you stop the escalation?
The only way, as I see it, is to simply arrange the warehouse, exactly, but exactly after we asked.
• • •
Girl on the phone: Hello Aya, I'm from the Tel Aviv municipality's youth department, we call residents to ask how they are doing.
Me: Wow, how sweet!
Girl: Do you feel like you need something?
Me: It's nice that I belong to the youth department.
Girl: Oh, no, we're calling everyone.
Me: Nice, you ruined it.
were we wrong
We will fix it!
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