Within the world of the so-called tabloid press, many situations occur that are absolutely common in the life of any other citizen.
A woman who becomes pregnant by her partner, or by someone she considers to be pregnant, and who, surprisingly, when she tells him the news of her future paternity, he breaks off the relationship and questions having something that see.
This is what has happened with the singer Bertín Osborne, whose alleged paternity of Gabriela Guillén's son has been filling the pages of the social chronicle for months.
On January 3, the same day that Guillén's son was born, the artist declared in an exclusive to the magazine
Hola!
that he does not wish to act as the father of that child, although he did recognize that he is going to undergo paternity tests.
For her part, the child's mother has declared that she will give him his last name, that is, she states that, hurt by the father's doubts, she prefers to continue her motherhood alone.
What do you do in such cases?
Can the mother
motu proprio
decide her motherhood alone?
Does the father have the right to request a paternity test?
What obligations will he have if this is positive?
More information
Máximo Peña, psychologist: “Men are not another mother, they have to build their own profile in their relationship with their children and in family dynamics”
“Osborne has the right to request paternity tests in court, since Guillén herself has said that he is the father,” explains Delia Rodríguez, family lawyer at Vestalia Abogados.
According to her details, the singer may initiate said action within a period of one year, which begins to be counted from the moment he becomes aware of his alleged paternity.
The claim to challenge filiation, as described by the lawyer, consists of the parent being able to resort to all types of evidence in order to prove that he is not the father of the newborn, among which stands out the possibility of requesting the practice of a biological test.
“This biological test consists of a chemical analysis by extracting a blood sample, or any other biological sample—such as saliva, amniotic fluid, nails, even cigarette butts, gum or toothbrushes—from both the alleged father and the baby. ”Adds Rodríguez.
The lawyer explains that, in these cases, the ideal is for the test to be done with the consent of both parents, thus avoiding possible subsequent questions regarding its validity.
Guillén has told various journalists that he will give his son his last name, but can he refuse a DNA test if the father requests it?
The answer is no.
“If a court accepts a party's request, the mother will not be able to refuse to have said analysis performed,” says Rodríguez.
As the lawyer explains, some parents challenge the test, arguing that it involves “torture” and “lack of respect for the bodily or physical integrity” of the minor in question.
But the reality, as reported, is that the analysis of any organic remains makes it possible to identify the existence or non-existence of an affiliation: “The Supreme Court has always been inclined in favor of the practice of biological evidence because it understands that, in no case , the physical integrity of the minor is being undermined, nor is he or she being tortured, since any body sample is sufficient to obtain an accurate result.”
If once the test is done the result concludes that he is indeed the father, he will have the obligations of any parent with respect to his child and "they will be subject to an agreement between both parents, as long as they reach it, which would be specified in a regulatory agreement".
Rodríguez points out that this agreement not only affects alimony, but also the guardianship and custody regime, visits or vacation periods that the minor would spend with each one.
A mother cannot refuse to submit her child to a DNA test if the father requests it.Abdullah Durmaz (Getty Images)
Regarding the psychological part, it is very important to remember that children develop a life experience closely linked to their circumstances.
Joanaina Barceló, social educator and expert in toxic relationships, believes that adults must recognize their responsibilities not only on an economic level, but also in how this situation affects the children involved emotionally and psychologically: “Understand that it is the parents who must provide protection , care, pamper, love and not avoid their responsibilities.”
Furthermore, he adds, from a more psychological perspective, the absence of a father figure, especially when the situation is public and marked by rejection, can have significant emotional consequences for the child — such as suffering from anxiety, sadness, a feeling of abandonment. or to be different, among others.
For the social educator, statements and attitudes such as those of Bertín Osborne can be perceived as evasion of parental responsibility and a reflection of outdated gender norms, where it is assumed that parenting and care are mainly the mother's responsibilities.
Barceló also adds that the language used by the artist - who in March of last year shared a video on his Instagram in which he showed his indignation at a teacher's decision not to celebrate Father's Day with her students, but rather the Special Person Day—to describe the mother in the interview, referring to her as “a very decent girl,” can be interpreted as paternalistic and reductionist, thus perpetuating gender stereotypes.
When your father doesn't recognize you as a son
Child psychologist Carmen Romero adds that today the term family implies many different realities: “For example, in the past it was not considered one in which there was no father, unless he had died.
Any other variation was pointed out with the finger.
However, society has been evolving and so has the way of thinking.”
“Heterosexual couples, homosexuals, single-parent families,” she exemplifies, “either by their own decision or due to problems that arise after the conception or birth of the child.”
Romero establishes that when a father abandons his role it does not have to be experienced as a drama: “What really matters is that this child can feel that he has an emotional connection with his caregiver, in this case, the mother, and that he feels that there is a effort on the part of the adult to do things well, especially out of love.”
When doubts arise, which will be inevitable, according to the psychologist, parents can make mistakes and give inappropriate answers, so it is best to explain to the children that the family they have, whatever it may be, is a family of dedication and respect. that fights so that each of its members is happy.
The psychologist considers that it is essential that the caregiver who stays, as could be the case with Guillén, "even though he feels the abandonment of that partner, makes the decision to forget that the situation he is experiencing is a misfortune."
It is important, she continues, “that the mother adapts to the new situation and transmits to the child that they can also be happy like so many other families.”
For Romero, the fundamental thing is to connect with the needs of the child throughout the upbringing, and although it is difficult to do it alone, it is always better than forcing a structure of two caregivers when the environment is totally depressed.
The psychologist maintains that children are great detectors of moments of tension: "So it does them no good to keep the couple above all else, thinking that it is the best for the minor, because it usually isn't."
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