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That the handshake happens: You now need to develop a sense of belonging with the people who are already where you want to be.
Photo: danang setyo nugroho/Getty Images/iStockphoto
Yvonne, 35 years old, asks: "I'm Head of Marketing and I'm aiming for a new, responsible position. I keep getting feedback from headhunters: Outstanding ability, only the habitus is missing. I was not confident enough and seemed insecure in front of many people. What does that mean and how can I change it.«
Dear Yvonne,
this is the course of an ambitious career: while at the beginning proof of performance determines your advancement, now the corresponding habitus comes into play.
The habit shows your role and group affiliation.
It is recognizable in your overall behavior, your preferred topics, your language, right down to your style of clothing: Do you define yourself as ambitious?
Do you already feel at home in management?
This is what we call localization: where do you feel you belong and how do you show it?
The valuable feedback from the headhunter:in means: you now have to develop a sense of belonging to the people who are already where you want to be - in management or top management.
How can you develop this habit?
It does not mean adaptation, copying hobbies or consumer behavior or body language of those in power.
Also don't talk like you want to, don't swallow and think everything is great that someone who wears a suit or an Armani costume in the office does.
So what?
That means the belonging habitus
1.
That you recognize yourself, your great ability, your successes, your ambition, name them, take them seriously, communicate them and thus show your own will.
Sounds easy, isn't it.
You belong in the new league.
You need answers to these questions: Why are you so successful?
Why will you continue to be successful?
Important: Your answer does not represent your skills, but what drives you!
»I always wanted to establish the best after-sales call center.
That is my expertise.« And the result: »Thanks to my concept, the returns kept falling.«
2.
That you take your skills and success seriously must be visible to anyone who might recommend you.
Do you dress appropriately expensive and serious, like the best in the new league?
Do you have good manners?
How do you talk about yourself – too humble?
Too long?
And how about others – really only positive?
How management-savvy does your presence in social media appear?
The slightest disruption in first and second impressions falls back on the ones you recommend.
The reputation of the recommenders depends on their appearance.
3.
Give micro signals that say: "This is where I belong." You don't want to prove yourself: "You know, back then in Milan it was based on my design...".
Don't boast: "This solution is pretty old school." Don't criticize: "I would change that for you immediately." Don't assert: "Now please let me finish!" Because that's how you set yourself apart.
Rather, they show interest in the other person: "What's on your mind right now?" They idealize: "Great!
How did you manage that?” Find similarities: “Did you find the lecture so interesting?” And you make everyone look good.
4.
Your new attitude is to create closeness and goodwill, so that decision-makers are happy to support you.
So compliment, show gratitude, generosity, and simplicity.
They always assume good motives.
You listen with interest and represent your views and wishes in a way that is redundant and persistent as well as appreciative and friendly.
ignore criticism.
You learn the codes and rituals, you write greetings, thank you and Christmas cards, you spend time on any informal occasions that come your way, you invite, you bring people together.
Dear Yvonne, show your new habit:
Do not say anything negative about your previous company or the bosses.
Not even when asked why you want to leave it.
Even if you were unfairly terminated.
Loyalty is perhaps the most powerful habitus motivator to recommend and hire you.
Write a thank you note to your headhunter and to everyone you are dealing with now who you recommend.
How many people don't even come close to headhunters?
Even if you really want it.
Gratitude is perhaps the most powerful habitus indicator of a great career.
For further reading we recommend the book by Doris Märtin: "
Habitus. Are you ready for the leap to the top?".
For some people, their lifelong dream comes true when they arrive in the top league.
For her too?
