Miscarriages: "Don't be silly, it happens to every third person"

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Natascha Sagorski with a list of signatures: Almost 53,000 people have signed their petition for graduated maternity leave after miscarriages.

Photo: Sandra Steh

Vanessa had hoped to find out the gender of the baby in her womb from the ultrasound scan.

It was the 16th week of pregnancy, she had already felt the child's first movements, friends and colleagues had congratulated her.

And then there was no heartbeat.

When Vanessa talks about her miscarriage, she still fights back tears seven years later.

She is one of more than a hundred women who have contacted SPIEGEL to share her story - and to fight for women who have miscarriages before the 24th week of pregnancy to be entitled to maternity leave.

In the 23rd week, unborn babies are as big as an eggplant and can hear sounds.

Nevertheless, women who lose their child during this phase are not entitled to any legally regulated time off.

"Before the ultrasound examination, I was still a mother with a recognized need for protection - and suddenly it was said: the child is dead, you are no longer worthy of protection," with these words Natascha Sagorski explained to SPIEGEL at the beginning of June why she was starting a petition for graduated maternity leave started miscarriages.

No reaction from the Greens

The PR consultant from Munich wanted to get 50,000 signatures on the OpenPetition platform.

She has now cracked this mark.

Around 22,000 signatures came together on the Bundestag's petition portal.

That's not enough for a public hearing in the Bundestag's Petitions Committee, but it will now have to deal with the issue.

This Thursday, Sagorski will meet SPD politician Leni Breymaier, chairwoman of the family committee, in Berlin.

Other politicians from the SPD and FDP have also signaled their support.

Only the Greens are holding back so far – which is very surprising to Sagorski.

"I've since learned that Green MPs had already proposed the inclusion of maternity leave for miscarriages as a change in the law in 2018," says Sagorski.

»It is a mystery to me why I have not received any support from this party of all people.«

At present, a few hours sometimes decide whether a pregnant woman is considered worthy of protection or not: from the first day of the 24th week of pregnancy, women after a miscarriage are entitled to up to 18 weeks to recover.

The federal government intends to shorten this period by four weeks.

On the other hand, women who lose a child after the 20th week of pregnancy are also entitled to maternity leave.

But this is not an alternative for Sagorski: “The hard limit is not appropriate.

It would also mean that women who have carried their child under their hearts for weeks or months remain defenseless.« And as before, the following should continue to apply: those affected can also go back to work earlier if they wish.

Nobody should be forced into maternity leave.

Take leave for the scraping

The amount of news that has reached SPIEGEL shows just how traumatic early miscarriages can be.

The women write of physical and mental pain, inner emptiness, hormones going haywire and “the hardest days, weeks and months of life”.

Some took leave for the scraping, many dragged themselves back to work the next day.

Few report not having to beg for sick leave or being assigned a midwife – which women are entitled to after a miscarriage.

Almost all of the more than one hundred readers write that they felt left alone and poorly informed after the miscarriage.

"Bye, next patient," is how one woman summed it up.

Vanessa names the date she learned of her baby's death as fast as the birthdays of the three children she gave birth to healthy children.

"I feel bad on this day every year," she says.

The gynecologist was very sympathetic, she says, "but in the clinic I was treated like dirt."

Vanessa can still hear the words of the treating doctor, who carried out the scraping under local anaesthetic: "Don't be like that, it happens to every third party."

Other readers report similar sayings:

"Oh, you can try that again."

"That's nature."

"It's just a clump of cells."

Daniela Münch wished for a funeral for her twins, even if her heart had only beaten up to the ninth week of pregnancy.

But no one in the hospital could tell her about it.

"I kept asking everyone I crossed my path," she says.

"I didn't really have the strength to do it, but the thought of my twins ending up in the trash was killing me."

Her persistence paid off.

A pastor finally knew: Children who are born at such an early stage of pregnancy do not have to be buried in most federal states.

Nevertheless, in many hospitals they are buried in collective burials.

Finally, Daniela Münch and her husband attended the funeral.

"It helped me a lot," she says.

“Probably many affected mums and dads would be better off if they could say goodbye at a funeral.

But since the hospital is not allowed to give any data to the pastoral care, many do not even know about it.«

Forced to suppress grief

Münch herself works in a clinic in Saarland, where she takes care of patients with mental health problems.

The loss of the twins affected her so much that she felt trapped in a black hole for weeks.

She was only able to free herself from it with difficulty.

She was unable to work during this time.

She now wants to pass on her experience in an online course.

She finds it unbearable that women in such situations are dependent on the arbitrariness of individual doctors and, if they do not get sick leave, are forced to suppress their grief.

»Every day in my job I deal with people who are struggling with problems that arose years ago.

Grief cannot be suppressed, it catches up with you at some point,” she says.

Vanessa can confirm that.

She was on sick leave for three days after her miscarriage.

Then she went back to the office.

»I was totally exhausted and my colleagues were uptight.

Nobody knew what to say,” she recalls.

She felt empty inside, but just kept going – until it was no longer possible.

"At some point I just cried."

Only then did she get a sick note from the family doctor – because of “mental problems” – and a flyer from the health insurance company for help with depression.

She still gets mad when she thinks about it.

»The physical and mental stress after a miscarriage has nothing to do with depression!

A scrape like that hurts, and my hormonal balance was completely upset.

I just didn't have the time to process it.«