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Rapper Xatar (left) sizzles with ZDF presenter Jan Böhmermann: »Fuck!
My parents are psychos "
Photo: Ben Knabe / ZDF
The job of television maker used to be a revelation, today these people often have a hard time.
Quality standards here, news offensive there, talk, guess, act.
Always a second level, explaining the world in the studio with Playmobil figures.
Everyone got so serious.
One or the other might want a lighter format for a change.
Read our recipe here for professionals of summery, breezy television entertainment.
Ingredients:
1 moderator, such as
Jan Böhmermann
or optionally a whole potato
1 guest, for example rapper Xatar (recommended), Motsi Mabuse,
Igor Levit
, Mai Thi Nguyen-Kim
2 dishes
1 studio with hotplates and refrigerator
Crowd:
Six episodes, from July 24th, at 7.45 p.m. on ZDFneo
Cooking time:
about 30 minutes
Preparation:
Forget the "Neo Magazin Royal" main course, the lemon-creamy "Fest & Fluschig" podcast junk, social beef, sarcasm bites, this is that. "Böhmi sizzle" is a cooking program in the buttery tradition of "Alfredissimo" des recently deceased entertainer Alfred Biolek.
It is best to let that thought sink in overnight before you watch the show.
Preparation:
Step 1
The television audience is a raw egg.
Start countercyclically by deterring the audience.
That's used to an extra dose of irony.
Double-layered storylines, smug moderation texts, rich Twitter food.
But this show is different.
People will be irritated when the concept of the program becomes clear to them: In a sterile kitchen studio, the presenter prepares two dishes with changing celebrities.
There is chat.
Doesn't taste good?
Doesn't exist.
step 2
Now bring the guest in.
Depending on your taste, it could be the rapper and entrepreneur Xatar who happens to be building a frozen empire with sucuk köfte and mini lahmacun products on the first attempt at cooking.
When talking, however, you should be careful as you would when preparing a Japanese puffer fish: there is a fine line between mum's kebab and a conviction for serious robbery and dangerous physical harm.
It is best to simmer the conversation over medium heat.
step 3
Know your ingredients!
You can only season a show with what you have in the kitchen.
You and your presenter may have caught the chilli pepper in the bland German TV landscape.
But that doesn't mean that he's also good at talking to guests.
What the talk show attempt "No Sports" once was for Reinhold Beckmann is continued here with a pinch of "No Politics".
Step 4
Beat some foam.
Whether for a kettle spit from Xatar or homemade beef roulades.
Don't get tangled up in the pretense of teaching about cooking.
Or about food.
Perhaps you will come across an interesting detail (Xatar:
"In
Bavaria
and
Baden-Württemberg
the jail sucks (...), but the food is incredibly good"
).
But then that's more of a coincidence.
Maybe it's not about food at all, but rather something that the American reporter Gay Talese once described as "The fine art of hanging around."
But nothing less.
Step 5
Cut the format into digestible bites.
Do not feel guilty if you use the recipes of many chefs and do little experimenting in the kitchen.
If you add the right guests, you hardly have to do more.
Look forward to highlights that melt on your tongue: Xatar with a scrutinizing look as an Ayran sommelier, Xatar fights with flames from the grill, Xatar talks about the moment when he first discovered lamb heads in the kitchen sink at home (
»Fuck ! My parents are psychos «
).
A surefire success.
Step 6
Now carefully lift the new summer format from the broth of prejudices and let all criticism drain.
The others only cook with water.
Enjoy your meal!
