Can you replace the first date?

Wine, pasta, everyone may light a candle - and open the video chat: Online dating is faced with new challenges. How can you replace the first date?

Hamburg (dpa / tmn) - The problem with online dating is always the distance - and how to get the good first online contact into real life. This is all the more difficult in the corona crisis and social isolation. After all, it is imperative to have as little contact with others as possible.

Nevertheless, dating expert Eric Hegmann is certain: "You shouldn't worry about losing contact just because you can't meet for a long time." In an interview with the dpa-themed service, he gives tips on dating in corona times.

They advise singles on their behavior when dating online. In your opinion, has this already changed with social isolation?

Eric Hegmann: My impression is that there is a lot going on on the platforms. In my consultations, I also hear that the discussions have become more profound. Many are now looking for connection even more - one of the greatest needs of people anyway.

However, the connection cannot be established with the usual small talk in chats to get to know each other, it is only a matter of clarifying whether one fits together. In the current situation, conversations, on the other hand, tend to be carried by the desire for emotional exchange. So you don't just ask, for example, which music the other likes, but why he likes it.

Matches may not see each other in person for a long time in order to comply with the requirement of social distance. How can you expand contact online?

Hegmann: It is always better to switch to the phone after a few messages sent back and forth to strengthen my confidence in a match and to avoid disappointments on a date. This should also be done now to intensify contact. Chatting cannot help here, it was basically invented for small talk.

Should I just call or better make a video call?

Hegmann: Everyone has to decide for themselves how much trust they could build through the first emails. With the video call, you virtually bring the other person home with you, which can be very intimate.

With online data in normal times, it is difficult that a contact does not get lost if you do not meet in a timely manner. How can you do that now?

Hegmann: You should already use the possibilities of technology to keep in touch - phone calls, video calls, sending each other small videos. But don't worry about losing contact just because you can't meet for a long time.

The point is that a contact addresses and fulfills wishes and hopes - if he does so, he or she will be preserved anyway. And nothing is more exciting than other people. Think back to getting to know each other, where you chatted through the first night - how exciting it was. Nothing stands in the way of that now.

A tip for those who find it difficult to have conversations: there is a list of 36 questions to fall in love with, which was popular a few years ago. They are very, very private, but there is a lot of truth to that. You can suggest to the other person to do this together. But I don't believe in using them unilaterally - that would keep one secret from the other.

How about the first real date? Can't you just have that online on your screen - with a wine or a meal together?

Hegmann: I think the idea is wonderful. There are so many ideas that you can still implement with a little creativity - and that are fun. Attend a virtual concert together, for example. And I know couples in a distance relationship, they watch series on streaming services and chat alongside.

But under certain circumstances you can also meet properly: A walk together is okay if you keep your distance and all other recommendations of the Robert Koch Institute and the Federal Government - provided that this is still allowed at the place of residence.

About the person: Eric Hegmann is a couple consultant, single coach and blogger from Hamburg. He also advises the online dating platform Parship.

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