If I can't sleep at night, between two and three in the morning, everything is quiet, exceptionally also the children and the neighbor's dog, and the street lamp paints picturesque silhouettes of the bamboo hedge on the wall, then I like to work out the repayment plan for our house. Do you know it? Annuity, installment, interest, yawn: wonderful, within minutes I am gone again. This special charm of the linear monotony of loan installments: reliability cast in figures, our bank sent me that seven years ago on eight pages of a table. I'm not a civil servant, but that's roughly how I imagine the career scheme of a college teacher, grade A13, married, three children: an endless column of numbers, as linear as it can be planned, a life in Excel format. What can I expect in 2028? Oh yes.
Guilt, one of those very big concepts of existence of humanity, about which Dostoevsky wrote novels and philosophers have racked their brains, purrs together in the repayment schedule on two profane questions: How much do I have to pay? And how long?
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