Cats have a reputation for being distant and not very obedient. Unlike dogs, they do not seek to please us, and even less to be servile.
They do what motivates them, when they like it. The cat tolerates humans but does not need them. It is better to let him approach and let him choose the arm if you are on the sofa. Paying attention to his body language allows you to decode his emotions. If he wags his tail, he indicates that he is unhappy.