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An alien comes to earth. Cool, first. He's a nice alien, laid back guy, he just wants to look. Hello, people say, what's your name? Hello, says the alien, my name is Alan, but this is not about me, it's about you, I want to get to know you. Well, people say, so, voila, that's our world, look around, she's very pretty.
Over there the rainforest is burning, the alien says, but people say: Look at the positives, do not always complain. That's right, the alien thinks, and asks, "What's that positive about? Ah, all kinds of things, people say, we have democracy, human rights and equal rights.
The alien can not remember so many long words at once, the first two of the enumeration he has forgotten again, he asks: Equal rights, what is that? And people say, that is, all people are allowed to do the same, no matter what sex they have. What does gender mean? The alien asks, and people think he's a bit stupid and say, can you google?
Big mistake. Because the alien starts to google. He finds out that there are men and women and nonbinary people. And that in English the word for man and man is the same, and he finds that funny. The alien googles positive messages about men, because he wanted to see the beautiful and not grumble immediately. Zack, immediately first hit: A man has kept a baby. The alien thinks: what ?, and reads all the news on the subject. A man in the New Zealand Parliament has been holding a baby, there's a photo of it people are sharing and then other people are making hearts under it.
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The Speaker of the House with the baby: In oooooooorderBut now, slowly, thinks the alien, something is not right here. He reads all the news again because he thinks he missed something. Why are people so happy? Everywhere, in different countries, people all over the world are happy.
CNN reports, the "Washington Post", the BBC, the "Guardian", "Le Monde", all write about it. It is the picture of the day, writes "India Today". Also in Germany: everything is full. SPIEGEL ONLINE brings a message, with video. Even small media report: "Baby in arms: Loving scenes in the New Zealand Parliament" ("New Osnabrück newspaper"), "Rainbow family baby in parliament enchanted the world" (blu.fm), "New Zealand sets a moving sign: Parliament President feeds baby in the plenary hall" ("Central German newspaper").
The alien realizes he has missed nothing. A man has kept a baby. The baby has two fathers and a surrogate mother, the man in parliament has kept it short and also a bit fed. The baby did not fall off. Everyone is happy. Pretty nice, thinks the alien. People are happy that the baby had a good time. The alien remembers that people said it did not matter which gender you have, and wonders if people are so cute when women have a baby.
Price query time:
06.06.2019, 13:21 clock
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DISPLAY
Margaret Stokowski
Free downstairs
Publishing company:
Rowohlt Paperback
Pages:
256
Price:
EUR 12,00
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The alien googles "Woman Baby Parliament". The first hits are about women who held a baby in a parliament and were kicked out, once in Denmark and once in Germany. Holy shit, the alien mumbles. Do people think women can not deal with children?
He goes over to the people again and asks. People are laughing out loud. But, they say, women can handle children very well, but they need to be careful when working at the same time, that's not always possible at the same time, and some mothers do not care, they do not care, they are raven mothers.
Alright, says the alien, and some fathers are raven fathers? - LOL, people say, no, there are no raven fathers. But there is the "top father of the year", that's a price, 5000 euros, which we forgive, for example, when a man takes parental leave for an entire year so that his wife can fly into space.
The alien mumbles that he finds the "weird as fuck" and googles again: "parental leave". It must be a bit of a blatant thing, he thinks, when men get prizes for it, but then he realizes that it really means: A man is holding a baby for a year. Or shorter. Mostly shorter. Two thirds not at all. And of the third who goes on parental leave, only 40 percent take more than two months, reads the alien.
But the "FAZ" has nevertheless found a few men who have taken more than two months parental leave. The alien thinks he asks these men why that is so special, but then he realizes that this is not possible: the men all talked to the newspaper under a false name because it's such a sensitive topic.
The alien thinks again if he should ask people what is going on. He wanted to see the positives, and then he finds all those funny news that somehow embarrass him. Pling !, the alien gets a message on the Spacebook Messenger: Ali, how are you? How's the earth? Asks his girlfriend Aline. He replies: Do not know, I am confused and hungry, you can not get a good cat anywhere. - OMG, answers Aline, come home, I'll print one out.
