"Der Aufstieg Skywalkers" has been playing in German cinemas since Wednesday. The ninth "Star Wars" episode also closes the latest trilogy in the film series. But how good were the sequels really? What did they do, where did they fail? The low and high points of "The Force Awakens", "The Last Jedi" and "The Rise of Skywalkers" - Spoiler Warning! Please only continue reading if you have seen all three films!
THE LOW POINTS
The meanest dramatic bluff
Wrong tracks fuel fan discussions and are therefore part of marketing. But rarely did you feel as loaded as when the supposed end of C-3PO was threatened by the trailer for "The Rise of Skywalkers". In the end, the whole thing was not much worse than a Windows update, and the talkative golden boy can continue to nerve forever. No, that's not how you play with the feelings of the audience. (Dak)
The worst computer animation
With Andy Serkis as the overblown motion capture monster Snoke, the dark side of CGI was revealed in all its ugliness. In both Episode XII and XIII, he embodied the larger-than-life Supreme Leader. But between the two films the Sith-Fiesling underwent a strange transformation: "The last Jedi" director Rian Johnson probably wanted more Ben Kingsley in "Sexy Beast" than a rickety zombie old man. Both snokes looked horribly artificial. (boron)
The most outrageous LGBTQ baiting
In one of the last scenes of "The Rise of Skywalker" a lesbian couple was shown kissing - that should distract from the previous 432 straight minutes. But did the opposite: This woke update made the trilogy look as old as it is rare. (Hpi)
The most original Death Star
Yes, of course, the original was a top idea from George Lucas: "This is not a moon!" Han exclaimed in Episode IV. Exactly, it is a death star! So good was the idea that a bigger Death Star was built in Episode V, the old one was broken thanks to Luke. "Rogue One" then, yawn, unmothed the original again like a beloved Christmas tree ball (there really is!) - and then we were finally rid of the deadly ball fetish. We thought. (boron)
Lucasfilm / Disney
Finn, Poe and Rey in front of the ruins of the Death Star in "The Rise of Skywalkers"
The most disturbing test liquid beyond sanitary napkins
I am very sorry if you have successfully suppressed Luke in "The Force Awakens" drinking greenish, viscous milk from the teats of a Dino-Proboscis cow - and I have now reminded you. Perhaps we can overcome the trauma by convincing each other that the peaceful coexistence of intergalactic species is one of the most beautiful features of "Star Wars". No? It does not work? Still have to shake on the milking scene? Yeah, me too. (Hpi)
The most unnecessary fan service
Everything is opened for the final chord, and the Ewoks also take a look at the final. Shouldn't have really needed it, unless you want to remember the shameless infantilization and merchandise strategy of "The Return of the Jedi". Speaking of what do Jar-Jar Binks' grandchildren actually do? (Dak)
The greatest opportunity wasted
They almost dared to do something: The ambivalent figure of the hacker and opportunist DJ ("Don't Join") played by Benicio del Toro in "The Last Jedi" briefly questioned the moral certainties of the "Star Wars" universe, But with him this doubt disappeared from history without a trace. The gray area between the light and dark side remains unexplored. (Dak)
The most desperate merchandise gag
What has two points and one eye? Of course the cute Cyclops Droid DO from "The Ascent Skywalkers". God knows, this saga did not need another robot with attitude , Disney's Christmas business, however, did - after all, baby yodas should not be available until 2020. Purchase impulse: Let it be. (Hpi).
Lucasfilm / Disney
BB-8 (left) and DO in "The Rise of Skywalkers"
The most incompetent villain strategy
Sith / Imperium / First Order really didn't learn anything in nine films: Again and again they build up a huge, cumbersome military complex, which the cute rebels can then reliably shoot into clumps. Strategically stupid and dramaturgically barren, but from the good side it is welcome again, because this guarantees: All you space fascists bound to loose. (Dak)
The stupidest helmet
Of course, Kylo Ren's red-hot Darth Vader memory cover in "The Rise of Skywalker" is more reminiscent of Daft Punk than dark forces. Daft Vader? Höhö. (boron)
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"The Rise of Skywalker": Jedi vs. Sith one last timeTHE HIGHLIGHTS
The best battle in the trilogy
There were enough fights, but Rey and Kylo Ren fought the best by far with Snoke's Praetorian Guard in "The Last Jedi": Perfectly choreographed, the short-term allies whirl through the throne room with their lightsabers and dismantle the red-armored elite soldiers with fury and efficiency. An action sequence so beautiful, you want to hang it on the wall frame by frame. (Dak)
The most beautiful Leia memory hairstyle
Already enough icon printing weighed on the young British Daisy Ridley to take over the quasi-successor of Jedi leader and teenage dream princess Leia. But what for Obi-Wan's sake should you do with her hair? So the clever make-up and hair department invented the triple bun, which is as practical as it is casual and sportily attached to the back of the head, which has now become Rey's trademark. Style yourself? Here: (bor)
The most convincing comeback
Harrison Ford's unannounced appearance in "The Rise of Skywalker": As the spirit of Han Solo, he helps his son Ben / Kylo Ren to take the decisive step towards the bright side of power. This unusually quiet moment in the spectacle emotionally redeems everything that Han Solo's functional death lacked in "The Force Awakens". The result: Been in "Star Wars". Cried. (Dak)
The most beautiful merchandise gag
At the very end, really in the very last minutes of Episode IX, Rey wields a new laser sword, with a new shaft and new color. Purchase impulse: Please bring it on immediately! (Hpi)
The most emotional wookie moment
"The rise of Skywalkers" is an emotional straitjacket, especially in the last hour, from which it is difficult to free yourself if you want to. In any case, one wants to indulge in the exuberance of emotion when Chewbacca learns of Leia's death. The howling of the faithful Wookies, who in nine films made good friends but had no mate, goes through your bones until even the most cynical film critic tears (really!). With Episode IX it is clear: The emotional center of the entire saga has a thick, fluffy fur. (boron)
The most impressive backdrop
Is not the stormy ocean in Episode IX, but the white salt desert on the planet Crait with its effectively swirled red sand in "The Last Jedi". The film was shot on the Salt Flats of Uyuni in Chile. (boron)
Disney
Movie scene on Crait from "The Last Jedi"
The most beautiful patchwork family in the galaxy
In the end, Rey adopts himself as a spiritual ancestor in the Skywalker clan, thereby ending all the unsavory bullshit about good and bad bloodlines (not to mention the stupid Midichlorians). Luke and Leia, as force spirits, add their quasi-parental blessing, and this clarifies once and for all: family is not a question of shared origin, but of the common attitude. (Dak)
The most poetic bridge to the original trilogy
It only takes a single picture to forgive JJ Abrams for his annoying pause from the classic trilogy: Jedi Rey Skywalker alone with Droid BB-8 against the glowing horizon on Tatooine. The beginning and end of the saga are brought together here in such a striking yet poignant way that you want to watch the films again from the beginning. Ok, without the prequels. (Dak)