Many singles who want to fulfill their parenting dream apply to joint parenting • In honor of Family Day, the experts explain how to write an agreement that guarantees the rights

• Shared parenting

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The family model of shared parenting is becoming more and more common in Israel. Shared parenting is a situation in which spouses, sometimes exes, sometimes friends, decide to call together, including through in vitro fertilization to bring a child into the world, as a replacement for the sperm bank.

In doing so, the couple becomes a partner in raising children. Establishing a joint parenting family is often complex, and can create unexpected situations, and therefore requires a unique agreement to be signed by the couple before the process begins.

The fine print

The best way to resolve a significant portion of the disputes is to sign a pre-pregnancy parenting agreement, an accurate agreement that will go into detail and regulate every possible situation known during pregnancy and postpartum pregnancy, and throughout the child's various years, even during his or her mother's womb. Prior to the negotiations that preceded the signing of the parenting agreement, it is desirable that each of the parties consult a lawyer on his behalf, in order to prevent further claims that the agreement was imposed on one of the parties who did not understand his rights.

First, it is important to make specific arrangements regarding the father's right to receive information about the development of the pregnancy and to participate in various tests that the mother undergoes and the birth itself. Determine what the father's stay arrangements with the toddler should be, and it is desirable to set "steps" that will allow for the extension of the stay arrangements with the father and the baby's bedside with the passing of time: up to 3 months, up to six months, up to one year, up to two years of age And half, up to the age of four, up to the age of six, and so on. This, taking into account that during the first postpartum period, the toddler is breastfeeding or sleeping at lunchtime, and to determine the hours of the encounter with the father.

A common mistake is to have the father meet the baby or sit with him at the mother's house. This section becomes inapplicable immediately when disputes between the parents arise, and even if it is included in the parenting agreement, it is appropriate to provide him with another reasonable alternative to be applied in the event of friction. Of course, the child's stay must be arranged with each of the parents during the holidays and holidays.

Who's paying?

The financial issues, as we know, are always sensitive and can create friction, so the parent's participation in the child's expenses must be determined individually: purchase of primary needs, such as a dresser, wagon, carrier and more, and, of course, about current payments for alimony. Determine what specific needs the father will attend and for what period, and from what period, from nappies and pacifiers to a nanny or toddler.

In this context, the earning of each of the parents, both from work and from property, should be examined, and on this basis, the consent should be established regarding the alimony. It should be noted in the agreement that only a fundamental and unexpected change in the income of the parties will allow the change of the agreed food arrangement. It is also important to note in the agreement that the decision to bring a child together is due to the two parties' reliance on the representations regarding earning as set out therein.

There may be two common mechanisms for organizing and managing all economic aspects between the couple. One, opening a joint account for the child's needs, to which each parent will deposit an agreed monthly amount and from which the child's expenses will be paid, all or part of them. The second is the transfer of a monthly amount from one parent to another.

Residence, education and surname

Sometimes issues that seem more "easy" to us and mediated, such as the child's name, can get complicated and inconsistent. Therefore, softer aspects of the child's life should also be addressed, as well as issues that are material to the child's life, even in the wider range. First, it must be explicitly stated what the child's last name will be, which cannot be changed, nor the first name without the written consent of the parents. It is also advisable to determine in advance in which educational stream the child will be educated, and to add that the educational stream cannot be changed without the parents' written consent.

To ensure the father's ability to maintain contact with the minor, it is crucial to determine that the place of residence will be in the parties' residence and, at most, within a few miles of it, and that any residence beyond that will require prior approval and prior approval by the Family Court. In addition, arrangements should be made for the arrangements between the father and the father in case of a move.

The main conflicts in shared parenting

Often times, the relationship between the couple may worsen in the face of various disagreements, the main being the setting of one parent's time with the newborn child and payment of alimony. Therefore, it is of crucial importance to address the parenting agreement on all possible issues in relation to these issues. These issues can lead to bitter conflicts, both among parents, between their families of origin, and in the Family Court. For example, in many cases, the father believes that the mother sees him as a sperm donor, whose job comes from giving sperm and paying alimony. The mother believes that the father is not considerate of her, her postnatal emotional state, and of the toddler's need to spend most of his time with the mother, who usually also nurses him.

Other disputes break out about having to pay the caregiver when the father opposes hiring a caregiver and demands that a party on his behalf treat the toddler instead of paying the caregiver. Another problem is when the mother earns high amounts or possesses property, and the father believes that in this case he does not have to pay the mother alimony. The law states that by the age of at least six, the father is charged with alimony to the mother at thousands of shekels a month. The controversy is difficult, easy, and material from the point of view that these are not spouses with emotional commitment or history, but by passers-by who have called for a specific purpose.

Approval of the parenting agreement

Once all consents have been reached, it is advisable to file the parenting agreement for approval of its provisions by the Family Court. It is important to know that the Family Court ruling states that a parenting agreement has full validity, even if signed before pregnancy or before birth, and even if not approved by it. At the same time, this does not prevent parties to an agreement from attacking its provisions on the grounds that it was not approved by the court. Therefore, it is advisable to approve it immediately after it is signed, which will make it extremely difficult for claims against its validity to be raised later.

The authors are expert lawyers in family law and complex family disputes