"The longer we stay locked up, the better I feel": the anxiety of hypochondriacs before the deconfinement

May 11, the beginning of a gradual deconfinement, will mark relief for many French people. The beginnings of a return to an almost normal existence, with the reopening of schools, then, over the weeks, of certain businesses. For others, it will be rather the beginning of a new ordeal. These people call themselves hypochondriacs. They flinch at the slightest appearance of a semblance of a Covid-19 symptom and see the specter of contamination, for themselves or their loved ones, approach with this programmed deconfinement. How do they deal with this irrational fear? Confined alone or with family, four of them tell us how they live with the permanent anxiety of catching this damn virus.

Angélique, 29 years old: "I feel like I'm bringing the virus home"

“I immediately took this seriously. »This waitress from Seine-Maritime, claimed hypochondriac and mother of three, has been taking precautions against the coronavirus for several months. "In my case, we are afraid of anything, so I dodged moms' kisses, I always had gel in advance ...", reports Angélique, 29 years old. The announcement of confinement reassured her. "I was so afraid for my children, for me, for my mother who had cancer," she explains, slipping having refused to go to see her husband, who was operated on in mid-March. Since then, each outing has been an ordeal. “Even with a mask and gloves, I feel like I'm bringing the virus home. I allow myself a few days each time to see if symptoms occur, ”says Angélique. An uncontrollable fear. "I am convinced that if I am tested and it is negative, it will be a mistake. And although she has no record of Covid-19, other symptoms have taken over.

"I constantly have trouble breathing and a lump in my throat," said the young woman, who contacted a doctor three times. We sometimes create our own symptoms… ”So Angelique does not plan to send her children back to school in May, aged 11 to 6. "I'm not taking any chances, we will stay home at least until September. "Even if she sees it:" It is hard to take care of them when you are always stressed and anxious. She herself is happy not to work. "I am employed in a tobacco bar, so in contact with a lot of people ... I have a lot of respect for people who continue, because fear would not give me courage. "

Adel, 45: “Hypochondria is almost worse than the coronavirus”

The 15 days following the confinement, Adel (first name), 45 years old, suffered a ordeal. "I was crying all the time, I was not sleeping and I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown," recalls this trainer from Val-de-Marne. I ran into friends just before confinement, so I only dreamed of one thing, to do a test, at least to reassure myself, to tell myself that I did not have the virus. Since then, his anxieties have eased a little, he says, thanks to his practice of meditation and yoga. But not completely either. "I pay attention to the slightest physical sensation, the little headache, diarrhea ... I know I am somatized," he says. I consulted a doctor friend who told me that it was related to stress. "

No question of stepping outside for this assumed hypochondriac who only went out once in a store. He collects his groceries in a drive or has himself delivered. "As soon as I touch something from outside, like yesterday, potatoes received three days ago, I panic," says Adel. So the announcement of a deconfinement, even progressive, makes him anxious. “Confinement reassures me, the more I stay locked up, the better I feel. If it could be extended, even until June, it would be better ”, judges the forties, who can telecommute. He considered a scenario for the future: "I will continue the drives and if I have to return to work, I will ask to exchange my place in open space for a closed office. And this imaginary patient to conclude: "The hypochondria and the anxieties generated, it is almost worse than the coronavirus, I do not wish it on anyone. "

Maël, 35: "I'm too afraid of a second wave"

Hypochondriac since his adolescence, Maël, 35, says he can now manage to "control" his stress of being sick. But sometimes, faced with the high media coverage of this epidemic, crises come back. “The principle of catching this virus scares me, it has an unknown side. And then the hypochondriacs retain only the most serious cases, ”said the volunteer firefighter from the Yonne, who“ stopped watching television news. »« I am afraid for my kids, so my state fluctuates, with certain periods of very powerful, but short anxiety, also confides this father of two children. Difficulty breathing, body aches ... What is difficult is that many of the symptoms of stress and anxiety are identical to Covid-19. We think about it so much that we physically feel it. "

Since the start of containment, exits are rare and he is very careful with barrier measures. "We have fairly strict rules, we do a drive every 10 days and we disinfect the races", explains Maël. No outing is not necessary for this thirty year old unemployed worker, including the teleworking partner. "If I was a delivery man or a garbage collector, I would not have gone to work, even if it meant putting my job at stake," he said. As for the opening of schools in mid-May, very little for him. "My daughter will not go back there until September. I'm too afraid of a second wave. Children, going to school, will distribute it everywhere. "

Sarah, 21 years old: "I sleep three hours a night because I cogitate too much"

Sarah, a 21-year-old resident of Dijon, says it straight away: “The Covid-19 scares me very much. This saleswoman, whose contract has just ended, lives in a paradoxical situation. She is confined to a small apartment, "which is very anxious", but at the same time says "reassured by the confinement". Because Sarah never ceases to experience "coronavirus symptoms". "I think it's because the epidemic has been widely publicized," she says, "but for the past few days I have had headaches and sore throats. I try to reassure myself, to tell myself that it is not that… ”Which does not prevent anxiety, which very often results in insomnia. “I sleep three hours a night because I cogitate too much, so I take Xanax. "

The young Burgundian ensures that without confinement, she would have already consulted a doctor. "But there, I really don't want to go out. And I had a hard time believing in video diagnostics. She gets her groceries delivered because Sarah has a bad memory of her last visit to a supermarket. "I was stressed for a week, with anxiety attacks, wondering if I had not touched a contaminated product ...", she says. Deconfinement is a new source of fear. "Opening schools is foolish, as long as we have a positive diagnosis, we should leave everything closed. And this until at least the end of summer… ”Unemployed for several days, she is reassured not to have to return to work and will continue, for at least some time, to have her shopping delivered.