What happens to love in the times of Corona

Home office, social isolation, hardly any time out: the corona crisis is a stress test for some couples. What does it do with love? And how do you manage not to break it?

Hamburg (dpa / tmn) - The corona virus has determined life for weeks - and everyday relationships. Many couples have spent more time together than usual. This does not always go smoothly. One in four (27 percent) who lives in a partnership is unsure whether their relationship will survive the Corona crisis unscathed. This was the result of a survey conducted by the online dating agency Parship among around 1,000 German citizens.

It is important to understand why we are doing this, says Ann-Marlene Henning. "The body and brain are set up for danger, that is, fighting or fleeing," says the sex therapist from Hamburg. Escape has not been possible in recent weeks. Instead, it means 24/7 home office for many, the better half next to them and possibly children. "Sometimes the partner becomes an enemy."

Couple therapist Clemens von Saldern from Berlin therefore advocates forbearance. His tip: make an effort to keep thinking about how your partner is doing - and yourself.

Barbara Lubisch recommends not putting every word on the gold scales. "Have understanding for your partner and for discontent feelings," advises the deputy federal chair of the German Psychotherapist Association.

Find joint projects

Against boredom and the carousel of ideas, von Saldern suggests looking for projects, things for which there was no time before - gladly together with your partner. However, the following applies: creating space and protecting it are extremely important to the experts. If possible, also spatially.

One may recover better from a workout in the living room, while the other would rather go for a walk. "It is important to look for ways in which everyone can maintain some freedom even without a partner," says psychotherapist Lubisch.

Time for relationship work

Maybe couples can also use this time together for positive things? Ask yourself: Can I tackle something that I've wanted to change for a long time? This can also affect the partnership. Games with question cards or tasks can help in relationship work and make them more informal.

It can be helpful to consciously spend time together in a beautiful way and, for example, to resume previous similarities: "That could be long hikes with a picnic, listening to music or watching movies or creating photo books from holidays together," says Lubisch.

Help with domestic violence

But what if all of this doesn't help, the tone becomes rougher, the aggression increases? The long period of contact blocking has increased the potential for disputes in many partnerships. Statistics show an increase in domestic violence.

Lubisch advises those who become aggressive themselves: "Interrupt the situation!" You should stop, go out of the room or go round the block, call friends or take care of the phone.

Those who are affected by violence in the relationship may not be able to get help themselves. "You are sometimes observed constantly," explains Henning. She therefore appeals to friends or neighbors to be vigilant and call the police in an emergency.

Advice for young people

Pro Familia

Corona hotline of the Federal Association of German Psychologists

Telephone counseling

Help phone violence against women

Number against grief

White ring

Online survey by Sigmund Freud University Vienna

Practice of balers

Homepage Ann-Marlene Henning