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These are the things we apologize to our children for this year

It's not our fault that this year has become very crazy very fast, but it's also certainly not the fault of our children who have to get used to this strange reality.

Towards Yom Kippur we have collected all the apologies that come to the Corona generation

Tags

• Corona

• Corona virus

• parenthood

• Children

Good Foundation

Sunday, September 27, 2020, 8:00 p.m.

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This is not how their lives were supposed to look like.

Children with masks (Photo: shutterstock)

When our children are born, so soft, tiny and beautiful, we watch them flooded with emotion, and promise them promises in our hearts.

We promise to create for them the safest world we can, promise to create for them a permanent, familiar, safe reality.

We promise to take care of, protect, protect them from all evil.

And we try to keep this promise of ours as much as we can.

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We create a clear and structured daily routine for the children, we strive to make sure that the educational figures that surround them are regular and will not change every day, we introduce them to the babysitter and make sure they feel comfortable with her and do not just bring someone casual, we set boundaries so the children know how to expect them To behave, we do not change residence frequently and invest thought and effort to ensure that children feel safe and protected within their world.

Then came "this period" and shattered everything for us.

The routine has broken down, the world has changed, people look different and try to stay away from each other, lots of things that were normal and clear above them are now forbidden and the confusion is great.

And if we are so confused, imagine how our children feel in all of this, in a reality that has completely changed for them.

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Yom Kippur is a day of repentance.

On this day and in the days before it we deal with the forgiveness between man and God and between man and his friend.

It seems, however, that this year there is another kind of apology that we must ask for, an apology that we adults need to ask our children, for violating the unwritten contract we made with them, for breaking our promises.

Sorry we separated you from your friends

For children the social part is a very central factor in their development.

Ever since they were babies they show deliberate curiosity when they see another baby their age.

They smile, make noises to get his attention, and later try to crawl and get close to that baby and touch him.

Through the social connection with their peers, the children build social skills, which constitute the ability to get along with others and maintain beneficial relationships over time.

The ability to adapt to different settings such as the military or a new job and the ability to develop interpersonal relationships, are based on the process of developing social skills in our childhood.

This is not really a significant social experience.

Boy learns zoom (Photo: ShutterStock)

Due to the corona we had to take our children out of their educational settings, and stop their social interactions with other children.

Even when they reunited with children it was in small groups, under many different restrictions.

When the child is at home all day without children his age, he is not exposed to the demands and constraints that social reality places on him, and his social abilities may decline.

As the child moves away from the social struggles over time - his level of anxiety increases, and he increasingly experiences the social situations as more complex and impossible for him to cope with.

Without experience in the field in the face of various social situations, which require the child to find creative solutions and practice his abilities and flexibility, his ability to learn and change decreases, ineffective behavior patterns may be established and the child will not be able to change them.

Sorry for the stress and anxiety we transmitted and still transmit to you

Our world is a rather frightening world anyway, and as they grow and develop the children begin to understand the dangers that exist in it for them and their family members.

With this understanding many children develop specific fears, most of which are normal, common and age-appropriate and pass in a short period of time.

Highly sensitive children, who experience the world more powerfully, may develop broader and more persistent anxieties.

These are concerns that are not focused on a single issue but on a variety of scenarios of thoughts about malfunctions and threatening events that may happen to them, family members, the environment and the world.

Our children have been experiencing anxiety even before the corona, and now it is getting worse.

A child worries (Photo: ShutterStock)

This period introduced a large dimension of stress and anxiety into very many homes.

Health anxieties for the well-being of our children, the peace of our parents and our well-being We are facing a new disease, it is not clear what it is, how it affects everyone and what its consequences are, and that there is currently no cure or vaccine, economic anxieties Policy in the face of a volatile and unstable political reality and more.

As the corona epidemic continues, feelings of confusion, loneliness, anxiety and depression increase in many people.

Children read our response to situations according to which they understand it and act accordingly.

A child who consistently and over time receives signs of worry, anxiety and danger from his parents may adopt his parents' anxious vision pattern, and will become very anxious himself.

Anxious parenting can lead to impaired child development and impaired parent-child relationships.

Sorry for the excessive screen doses

For many years we parents have been waging a bitter war against our children over their screen time, and rightly so.

Studies suggest the harms of too much media consumption for children, especially at a young age: Using screens before bed can create poor sleeping habits and shorten sleep time, which can affect a child's development, behavior, mood and learning.

Prolonged television viewing has a negative effect on the development of parts of the brain.

Prolonged sitting in front of screens causes a delay in language development among infants and toddlers, as well as the appearance of attention and concentration difficulties, a decrease in thinking ability, social skills and more.

Prolonged sitting in front of the screens can also lead to overweight and obesity.

And suddenly the reality changed.

Our children were closed at home without the educational frameworks, without classes, without the youth movements, without social gatherings.

Even if they do study, learning is in capsules and requires quite a bit of distance learning, from home.

Our ability of the parents to employ the children all day in creative work, games, reading books, cooking together in the kitchen, etc., so that they are not in front of the screens, is limited and limited.

The damage to the screens is not gone just because we need them more.

Girl playing on smartphone (Photo: ShutterStock)

And so, the rules to which we were accustomed during our parenting, to limit children to screen time, suddenly do not apply.

Suddenly we need, and it is even required of us, to encourage our children to sit for a long time in front of screens because a large part of the learning to which they are now committed, is through them.

Suddenly the screens have become a bundle of troubles into an island of sanity, a major way of keeping in touch with family and friends and even a kind of babysitter when working parents are forced to turn on to employ the children.

But what happens to children who spend so much time in front of screens?

Have all the damage they did to our children gone away?

Are our children, who are left alone at home, not likely to surf to sites with inappropriate, violent or sexual content?

Can't strangers contact our children more easily and less supervised by us than in the past?

Sorry for the disconnect from the beloved grandparents

The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is such a magical and important relationship and it has so many benefits for the children.

Grandparents are significant adults for the child, who see him and notice how much he can and is capable of, how unique and special he is to them.

It fills the child with a sense of belonging, gives him a good feeling and builds within him high self-confidence and self-image.

When grandparents tell children about their childhood, and also about the childhood of their children, the parents of the grandchildren, it allows children to see the grandparents and their parents from a different perspective, connect to similar experiences and situations and learn different ways of reacting to things they themselves go through.

In addition the grandson absorbs his family life and heritage, the roots from which he comes.

Remember that?

Grandma cooks with her granddaughter (Photo: shutterstock)

Grandparents often have more leisure and emotional availability to sit with the children and develop with them a special hobby or some fun activity, private and sacred 1: 1 that is fun, empowering, empowering and enriching the world of the children.

Sometimes the grandparents ask the grandson to teach them something he knows and they do not, such as work on a computer, understand what Facebook is, get acquainted with a mobile phone and the like.

When the grandson teaches the grandparent he feels empowered and strengthened that he is the one in the role of the knower, the capable, the teacher.

He is aware of his abilities and the things in which he is strong.

There are grandparents who take care of their grandchildren on a regular basis, this is a routine and normal meeting in the children’s world, and produces in them a sense of routine and security.

Then, all of a sudden, that great connection was taken, gone.

Grandpa and Grandma had to stay home, isolated from their family.

The relationship became a relationship of Zoom.

Even when the children meet with their grandparents they must maintain a distance.

They cannot hug and be hugged, there is no physical contact and the times of joint stay have been greatly reduced.

Young children do not understand why and do not understand why their beloved grandparents stay away from them.

The older children understand that they may infect the grandparents and endanger them and they feel a great responsibility for their well-being and health, a responsibility that is beyond their ability to contain.

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