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• parenthood

The difficulties that returning to routine poses at any age, and the way to deal with them

The kindergarten children have already returned, and soon the school children as well, and then one day you too will have a routine.

But while we are all waiting for this moment, the truth is that it will not be easy.

This is how you will help your children cope

Tags

• Back to normal

• Corona

• Corona virus

Ravit Raviv

Monday, 19 October 2020, 00:03

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It may seem endless and ongoing, but it will come.

The day when we will slowly return to routine.

"Getting back to routine," even if it's a coronary routine, enjoys excellent public relations.

It is perceived as comforting, as a peaceful and secure job and especially as symbolizing health and personal and public resilience.

But studies have shown that it is not that simple, to go back to it.

Returning to a routine requires a lot of energy, and mental and emotional effort, which can, in extreme cases, lead to anxiety, mood swings and depression.

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NEWS

Returning to Kindergartens: This is how you will do it right and with a minimum of difficulty for children

To the full article

In the end most of us do it, and quite successfully.

But what about our children?

How do they cross it?

Preschool: Birth to six

Usually, because of their young age, we are more careful with them.

We mediate reality for them and soften it for them.

But this time the young age is actually playing in their favor.

Lack of experience in disconnections and back to routine is a big advantage for the soft kids, this experience is less familiar to them and they come to it without prejudice, without familiar feelings and that is exactly why toddlers and young children are great adapters, they accept the changes as part of life, without much questions and drama.

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Still, you should keep a few rules in mind when returning to a routine life:

1. Sharing: Get excited about them.

Rejoice with them that the Zoom meetings are over and now they can finally meet and play with friends.

2. Listening - Let them ask, get excited, tell.

Be there to answer questions and support if needed.

3. Preparations in advance - start practicing a routine: return to normal bedtime, prepare the bag with them for the garden, choose the clothes and personal equipment with which they will go to the garden.

Elementary: Ages 7-12

The children already understand the interest and know that although we will soon return to routine, this is going to be a completely different routine.

This is a tricky age.

An age where the child begins to discover social power and this power begins to influence him.

The ongoing closure, which has interrupted the beginning of the year and social absorption, can give its signals in the form of fears, anxieties and anxieties that children may experience, and for some a return to routine, may be a burden.

Getting back to routine can be difficult at these ages.

Elementary school children (Photo: shutterstock)

Be vigilant, pay attention to children.

If the child is too quiet, or he erupts or gets angry, does he enter the room as soon as the news of returning to school is broadcast, does he converge on his own.

Notice his general mood: happy, indifferent, upset, nervous and impatient.

If the child does not show positive signs of desire to return, try to talk to him about it.

Do not interrogate too much and do not cause him discomfort.

Ask light and non-threatening questions, in the style: "So what do you want to have in a sandwich tomorrow?", "Want to choose together what to wear to class tomorrow?".

From this a good conversation can develop.

Do not panic and do not dismiss what he feels, such as: "What nonsense, what are you afraid of?", Or: "What suddenly, it will not happen, do not worry" ... on the contrary, let him share and take out.

And even if things arise even if concerns and fears arise, together it is possible to build a common plan for a gradual return to routine.

Build the plan to suit you, and try to let him lead it.

True, it is not easy, but as long as you accompany and support it, it will grow stronger and stronger, remember that every day promotes us a little more to success.

High school: ages 13 to 18

In their younger adolescence, the children started middle school and high school, and went out to quarantine after two weeks in which they knew only a capsule.

There is no class acquaintance, and certainly not layered acquaintance.

Everything is taken from them: the school, the classes, the spectators and the meetings with the friends.

The social reduction may bring with it difficulty at the edges.

Talk to them, but without pressure.

Petah Tikva High School (Photo: Reuven Castro)

Adolescents who have not yet been able to form social bonds within the capsule, adolescents whose friends are in another class or in the same class only in another capsule, who have not yet started classes in the afternoon, may feel a drop in energy and a reluctance to start over. Our support, as parents, is very important here. Even if they reject it and refuse it. Be present. Show parental presence and authority.

How do you do that with teenagers? Very gently ....

1. Show interest - ask, be interested. Try to avoid closed questions. Not: "How was the day at school?", But: "Tell me a little about your day ...", or: "How was the meeting with the friends?".

2. Listen - Make time for the conversation and be with them. Do not look at the cell phone, do not turn your back, do not wake the little brother and / or son or spouse. Create the conditions for a good conversation, and give them the feeling that in these moments you are with them.

Ask for permission - Adolescents are very sensitive to advice and often refuse to accept it, especially from us, "those old and misunderstood". Do you have any advice that you are sure will help him? Ask his permission: "Want to hear what I would do?" And remember: such a question can have two answers. Or yes, or no. If he refuses to listen, do not get hurt. Respect his will.

4. And most importantly - give him the feeling that you are always here. for his sake. For any matter that does not come. Keep following, be vigilant. Pay attention to extreme changes in behavior, eating habits, sleeping habits, cleanliness and more. And if the situation worsens, do not hesitate to seek professional help.

Returning to a routine this time will be different, we will all return to a slightly threatening routine, a bouncy, hyperactive and unexpected routine. Corona routine. Still, a return to routine should be comforting and light-hearted, and in most cases it certainly is. It is important to remember that even the children who find it difficult to start and get back to business, at the end of the day catch up and do it like everyone else. We just need to be there for them, vigilant, with our hand on the pulse and with lots of support, love and inclusion.

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