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Arrested Development

What family will we have the day after the corona?

A year into the plague we decided to check: what did the corona do to the Israeli family, in what ways did it affect it, and what would the new family look like?

Special Project

Part One

Tags

• Family

• parenthood

• Corona

• Clasp

Ravit Raviv

Friday, 22 January 2021, 08:15

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We found something good to say about the Corona!

Family looking out the window (Photo: ShutterStock)

"Today's children, they are not the children of yesteryear ...", a familiar phrase, which we are used to hearing most often from grandparents, as they click their tongues and roll their eyes.

But it seems that today it can be said with certainty that "the children of after the corona, are not the children before it."

Much has been said about the changes and difficulties some children experience in coping with corona injuries.

Children undergoing regression in wetting, experiencing difficulty falling asleep in sleep and extreme changes in eating habits, children who are isolated and socially detached, who need to get used to new and different learning conditions.

Children at once, were exposed to new concepts that became the new reality for them: isolation, closure, illness, epidemic, mask, social distance, zoom ...

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But this period also taught them other things, about themselves and their environment.

They learned to be responsible and caring, they learned to be considerate of others, even if it came at their own expense, they learned to compromise, to give up, to put the self-occupation aside for a moment and to care for older and older than me.

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From conversations with parents, the feeling arises that their children have matured faster over the past year, and their ability to adapt has increased.

They learned to adapt quickly to a variety of changes that did not have to be dealt with until the Corona Age, such as: frequent transitions between freedom and closure or isolation, changes in the way of learning and the transition to online learning, they also learned to reinvent themselves in online social encounters.

And so, without really meaning or aiming there, our children have expanded their basket of values ​​and life skills, which without the corona, would not have been given the opportunity to do so.

The parents are not the same parents either

Along with the change that the children are going through, new parents have also grown and developed here.

What they did not do over and over years of self-work, conversations with personal trainers and psychologists, parental guidelines and guidance, made our self-image and parental confidence one little virus.

The parents of after the corona are different from those who entered it.

Forging.

Dad tries to work from home (Photo: ShutterStock)

Throughout the past year, we have struggled with closures and isolations, with children indoors and with not-so-simple economic and health pressures.

The stress index was at its peak, which led many parents to experience anxiety attacks, stress and physical difficulty indoors.

Children who need help with online learning, toddlers who are repeatedly in a loop of an ongoing and endless absorption process, add to that the worry and apprehension of our adult parents, the relationship that needs to be maintained, the transition to work from home, and you have the inferno in person.

Despite these, however, from conversations with many parents, a somewhat optimistic picture emerges, of a parent who has paid more for himself and with his educational path.

Many parents report that today they are calmer, more liberating parents, and with less guilt.

Lately I hear more and more sentences like: "I rediscovered my children", "At first my world was destroyed, I was sure I could not stand it, I surprised myself ...", "Look what it is ... I do not send her to a vital kindergarten "Although I can. I'm fine with her at home, it's not as scary to me as it used to be" .. Many report actually improving relationships with children and greater patience towards them, parents of young children, ages 6 and under, report that they find themselves patient, Contain, understand more and can deal with a higher level of frustration of their children, something that was not before the corona.

The new family

Life has its own dynamics, and difficult times have difficult dynamics, which has led parents today to recognize the importance of setting boundaries for children as a necessary, vital and integral part of life itself.

The parents of after the corona are perhaps more tired and exhausted, but certainly much more confident in themselves, in their parenting and more confident in their children.

Suddenly we'm pretty nice to them.

Mother and daughter dancing (Photo: Giphy)

The corona is still here, but it is very possible that the buds of change can already be seen at home.

The post-Corona family is more patient, mature and inclusive.

The newer parents are whole and more confident in themselves, the children will grow up to be empathetic and caring people, who see the other and consider him and his needs.

This is not a fantasy.

We have the thing.

In every age there is the good and the less good, we are the ones who choose which side to illuminate, and following us will go the whole family.

In a few weeks we will celebrate Family Day, maybe by then the virus will be gone from us, and we will be left with the good and important values ​​he left us here, and with a tired and exhausted family, but one who knows how to consider, listen and see the needs of others.

For the life of the new family.

Ravit Raviv, Garden and Family Specialist, Adler Institute

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