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Love lock in Munich: economizing our love
Photo: Peter Kneffel / picture alliance / dpa
Reason 1: They sell me some kind of rubbish as proof of love, at the same time we treat other people like rubbish.
Valentine's Day is a vacuum cleaner salesman smiling kindly as a reminder that you too have the right to shop for romance.
And not only that, the vacuum cleaner salesman will convince you that this serially produced and sold romance, that is, this profit-maximizing mass-produced item that he has in his suitcase, is the perfect symbol for the uniqueness of the romantic encounter.
One can, of course, doubt the idea of one great love, which the Catholic Church and German Romanticism like to promote (anthropologists, biologists, sociologists and statisticians would definitely disenchant the concept of a single soul mate a little) - but this unimaginative uniformity of Love has in no way earned tokens of love.
Samira El Ouassil Right Arrow
Photo: Stefan Klüter
Born in Munich in 1984, is an actress and author.
In 2016 her book “The 100 Most Important Things” (with Timon Kaleyta and Martin Schlesinger) was published by Hatje Cantz Verlag.
In 2009 she was the candidate for chancellor of the »party«, which at that time was not allowed to vote in the federal elections.
She was recently awarded the Bert Donnepp Prize for media journalism for her media-critical column »Wochenschau« (uebermedien.de).
As the most convincing piece of evidence I cite the ridiculous love lock, the epitome of all trashed romance.
A heavy, metallic commodity from the hardware store, in which symbolically the one love should be locked in forever and ever.
On the bridges, the parts rust away in millions, only to lose their claimed importance in a sea of castles.
In general, a lock as a symbol of love is like a wandering bird with a fear of flying: trying to lock it in is pretty much the opposite of what makes it so special.
My suggestion to break out of the economization of our love is: to rebel against the business model with unpredictable, unpredicted charity by donating money to people who do not experience love from society;
and often only unacknowledged contempt from politics.
17 homeless people froze to death in Berlin.
And, as with many grants, the most unromantic is actually the most effective: donations.
Take the money you would spend on flowers and chocolate and ask the person you actually wanted to give them to if it could be given to the cold bus or other institutions.
Reason 2: They sell me some garbage as proof of love and at the same time we ask lovers to prove the legitimacy of their love.
It is still not a matter of course in society to be able to love whoever and how you want to.
This is shown by the reactions to the coming-out of the 185 actors in the Süddeutsche Zeitung under the name »actout«.
Both the wiping away in the form of emphasized indifference and exposed incomprehension - "I have no problem with them, they can do whatever they want in private" - as well as the homophobia and transphobia in the comments demonstrate the need for visualization.
Because like racism, queer hostility has also changed.
A patronizing tolerance thinks itself particularly progressive in its jovial acceptance.
This homophobia, which is still socially acceptable because it is more subtle, "tolerates" sexual orientation graciously as a "private pleasure", a "legitimate choice".
However, this means that although you do not want to deny a person the right to a choice, but you do not concede to simply
be
who she is, among other things: lesbian, gay, bisexual, non-binary, trans.
And that's a fundamental difference.
Because not the existence of a person is accepted, but only one's own discretion, what one allows a person.
Not to mention the homophobia contained in such statements, namely that sexual orientation is a »chosen lifestyle« - but we already had the discussion with Friedrich Merz.
Yes, there is an urgency to achieve this as a matter of course, because the number of homophobic and transphobic attacks is increasing, as the anti-violence project Maneo has counted, by a third in Berlin 2019.
Loving in Germany is not yet free and for some it is locked in a heavier lock than for others.
Reason 3: They sell me some kind of rubbish as proof of love and at the same time rummage through other people's rubbish for proofs of love.
The overarching exploitation of relationship dynamics by tabloids and on social media when a couple is in a transition, crisis or separation is another form of economizing love.
A more perfidious one: it sells the love of
other
people for us in the form of click links, social media gossip and collective arousal offers.
In its hyena-like nature, this is in and of itself unworthy of love, but thanks to the network dynamics fueled by economic, journalistic and human resources, there is another narrative that has not changed since Eva and Pandora: The.
Mrs.
Has.
Fault.
When Prince Harry and Meghan Markle broke away from the British royal family, it was of course the "Megxit".
The manipulative woman drove the helpless man out of Buckingham Paradise.
A few days ago a documentary portrait about pop singer Britney Spears appeared on the streaming platform Hulu with the title "Framing Britney Spears".
The production shows how the singer was first exploited and then left hanging from childhood on by fans, critics, the music industry, journalists and the judiciary on all levels.
It explores how Justin Timberlake also benefited economically and artistically with his music video for "Cry me a River" from portraying Spears as the antagonist and continuing the story that she was to blame for the end of the relationship.
The media and social media platforms still make too much money from misogyny for them to be less misogynistic.
As long as we allow an economy that benefits from claiming that women are to blame at the end of love and that reduces them to "the partner of", as long as a mass coming-out is required to restore normality for the idea, that everyone has to be able to love openly as they love, as long as the economy wants to lock love in kitsch and guilt - as long as I cannot take this one day of the year that should be exclusively dedicated to love seriously.
Icon: The mirror