Pedophilia: abused by a scout leader, they tell their ordeal

In the scout salute, the thumb resting on the folded little finger means, symbolically, that "the strong protects the weak".

The big, the adult watches over the little one, the child.

But it can happen that criminals in scarves flout this golden rule, destroying the lives of Cubs and Cubs engaged in the youth movement founded in 1907 by Baden-Powell, a retired British Protestant general.

In the United States, nearly 100,000 complaints of sexual abuse perpetrated for decades among the Boy Scouts of America - eight times more than those against the Catholic Church - were filed in 2020 between February and November 16 , deadline to benefit from the compensation fund set up by the main scouting organization in the country.

This is the most important sexual abuse scandal across the Atlantic, the first revelations of which date back to 2012. According to a victim lawyer, the environment specific to scouting, marked by the oath of loyalty, isolation in the midst of nature and the remoteness of parents, may have encouraged predators to take action.

READ ALSO>

Pedophilia and incest: how the past catches up with those who defended the indefensible

In France, there has not been, to date, a “Scouting MeToo” as waves of testimonies have recently surged denouncing incest, monstrosities of the clergy, sexual violence in sport, cinema. or within couples.

Victims, however, undoubtedly exist.

Some, when the person in charge was a priest, told their ordeal to the Independent Commission on Sexual Abuse in the Church (CIASE) created in 2019 and which will submit its report in the fall.

Others have faced in recent years their executioner (secular or Roman collar) in court, in Perpignan (Pyrénées-Orientales), in Le Mans (Sarthe), in Douai (North) or even in Lyon (Rhône) during the resounding trial. , a year ago, of Father Bernard Preynat, chaplain who had created a scout troop affiliated to no recognized federation.

Morning essentials newsletter

A tour of the news to start the day

Subscribe to the newsletterAll newsletters

VIDEO.

"I kept it for myself": the testimony in 2016 of a victim of Father Preynat

Among the victims, there is also a famous personality, the geneticist Axel Kahn, 76, who revealed, five years ago, during a radio program, to have undergone, as a child, "whole nights of touching. »From a scout leader.

Finally, there are all those who have never been able to cry out their pain, even after decades.

“A word still has to be released, which is very difficult in the most traditional scout movements which above all do not want to dig up old affairs.

There is a terrible inter-self.

If the victim speaks, she will be isolated, ”decrypts Olivier Savignac, president of the Parler et revivre association, which supports“ people who were victims of sexual violence in their childhood ”.

With the help of the Coabuse platform, a website connecting people abused by the same abuser, we were able to get in touch with former Scouts who were sexually abused in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s by a Scout leader.

Never, until then, had they confided in a media.

Eager to break the omerta, also sensitive to the message sent, at the end of January, by President Macron to all the victims of sexual violence against minors ("We are there, we are listening to you, we believe you and you will never be alone again" ), they agreed to testify on condition that their anonymity is respected.

Louise: "I saw him as a reassuring figure"

Louise was 9 years old when she was assaulted by a Boy Scout leader during her first summer camp.

(Illustration) LP / Arnaud Journois  

Louise

(the first name has been changed)

, architect, has "shut herself up in the job".

“I could have slipped into alcoholism.

I chose work to occupy my mind ”, loose this Parisian thirty-something in jeans and sneakers.

It is not without difficulty.

“I don't return a file without crying.

I keep putting myself down, I feel like I'm less than nothing.

You can't understand what I'm feeling.

"

At the age of 9, she was attacked by a scout leader during her first summer camp in Ile-de-France.

“He's a man who was my parents' age.

I saw him as a reassuring figure, ”she describes.

One night, this man she "trusted" slipped into her Canadian and then sat astride her.

“He was kissing me, buried his hand in my panties and touched my cock.

At the time, I said to myself:

It is not possible, I am having a nightmare

.

I also saw him kiss one of my comrades who was on my left, ”she says.

Seeing that its prey was no longer sleeping, its attacker then whispered: "As you asked me, I came to see if you wanted to go to the toilet.

The day before, the wolf had confided in him her fear of going alone in the dark.

“The day after the assault, I left my body, I was there but my mind elsewhere,” she recalls.

She “doesn't dare talk about it” to her parents who are also group leaders.

When entering CM1, his results are in free fall.

She has "night fears".

In CM2, during an intervention by her mistress on sexual abuse, she freezes.

The establishment alerts his family.

The schoolgirl then tells "an arranged truth", evoking the "kisses" to her neighbor in the tent, but not her own aggression.

Following the "intervention" of his parents who were far from having all the information ("I do not blame them anything"), the scout leader, who until then benefited from an indisputable "aura" and even had of departmental responsibilities, is "ousted" from the wolves.

But remains in the movement: he is moved, "reassigned" to the upper age category.

“All the wolves were crying!

At the time, I felt guilty that he was pushed away like this.

"

It wasn't until she was 18 that Louise revealed to her family the details of her night of ordeal.

Much later, in 2017, then followed for three years by a psychiatrist following a depression, she decides to file a complaint against her attacker.

“At first, I was in pain at the thought of hurting her,” she concedes.

The accused is placed in police custody for 48 hours.

But "the evidence is not sufficient", his complaint is finally dismissed.

"Further evidence, that would have been another victim!"

He didn't crack.

He said he didn't understand why I was so angry with him.

I know he knows.

At least there was my report and it's in the files, ”she consoled herself.

READ ALSO>

Sexual violence against minors: prescription, consent ... the debate on criminal law relaunched

With hindsight, she resents "a lot" to "certain people" who in the past did not "believe" her.

“For them, he was incapable of doing that sort of thing.

It is the same functioning as the Church, it is a family ”, she observes.

Her neighbor in the tent who had been "kissed" the same night "has no memory" of the assault.

For Louise, the wound is far from being closed.

“I have trouble with authority, when people impose things on me.

I hate anything that is tactile.

And I am convinced that I will be a bad mother, that there is something rotten in me that I will pass on, ”she fears.

If Louise has never mentioned her case to the national leadership of her former movement - "no confidence" - she encourages the former little Scout victims to "speak up and lodge a complaint" in order to break the "omerta".

Adrien: "Fortunately, my parents were solid, otherwise the case could have been hushed up"

Adrien believes that today scouting must lend itself to "a fundamental duty of memory".

(Illustration) IStock  

Adrien, 38, a social worker in the field of child protection, has “waited for an apology for a long time” from his former scout movement.

“There never was.

It would have done me a lot of good.

Now, it's too late, I've done a lot of work on myself, ”he says.

This Ile-de-France, who has "experienced episodes of depression" and attempted teenage suicide, comes out of "twenty years of analysis".

He was abused at the age of 13, destroyed by a scout leader who was 20 years older than him.

“I was in a strong relationship, he had become my best friend.

He approached me during a summer camp.

Then he used the scouting activity as an excuse to see me at his place, during the editing of the camp video.

He then won the trust of my parents, a little suspicious at first but who finally allowed me to go on a trip to the United States with him, outside of scouting, ”he says.

It was then, in a tent in California, that he suffered the assaults of his executioner.

Back in France, the teenager has changed.

“I couldn't stand being touched anymore.

His parents manage to get him to talk and rush to file a complaint.

“The leaders of my Scout branch lobbied to dissuade us from doing so.

They tried to explain that a procedure was going to be long and painful and that it would not be great for movement, ”he said indignantly.

He remembers having "found himself facing a wall".

He nevertheless admits that once the complaint was filed, his attacker was evicted.

"Fortunately, my parents were strong, otherwise the case could have been hushed up," he breathes.

Adrien believes that today there is a need for "a fundamental duty of memory" of the movement in relation to the errors of the past and wants the creation of a national commission to shed light on "forgotten affairs".

Its predator was sentenced to eighteen months in prison.

"A few years ago, he tried to get in touch with me via Copains d'avant", he denounces.

This father is not afraid to "face him".

But "not alone".

"I would be afraid to kill him ..."

Yannick: "I am guilty of not having said anything"

Yannick's attacker continued to write him letters in which he spoke to him about God.

(Illustration) LP  

At 50 years old, Yannick (

the first name has been changed

) still regrets not having denounced the “impulses” of his attacker who targeted him when he was a teenager.

“I am guilty of having done nothing, said nothing.

He was able to go much further with other children, there were always toddlers, the Cubs, next to him, ”repeats this man today in real estate.

Thirty-six years ago, during a scout camp in the Center region, he was the victim of touching by his troop leader.

“There was a thunderstorm, I was in the tent, cold.

He snuggled up against me, in my sleeping bag, then put his hand between my legs.

I took it out.

He got it right.

Then he stayed all night next to me.

I was terrified.

Then he avoided me until the end of the camp, ”he recalls.

The teenager remained silent on the actions of his "spiritual father", the one who and he "taught to pray".

His aggressor-manipulator, who entered the seminary before giving up on the way, came back to him by maintaining a correspondence for several years.

“Most often he spoke to me about God.

But in a letter, he told me bluntly that he would like to see me again.

"

Ten years after the events, Yannick opened up to his parents about “gestures” in the tent: “They did not take too much, they did not take any steps.

"While he says" having difficulty in being reconciled with the faith ", he assures to have succeeded in overcoming his trauma.

But he remains tortured by the idea that other children may have been abused.

To “relieve” his conscience, he carried out his investigation, resuming contact a few years ago, via Facebook, with Gaël (

the first name has been changed

), a former scout comrade two years his senior.

The latter told him similar facts.

“There was a big storm, we took refuge in a barn for the night.

The scout leader lay down next to me.

In a half-sleep, I realized he had his hand on my chest and was starting to stroke me.

I turned around, I grumbled, he stopped.

At the time, I was paralyzed, ”describes the 16-year-old man.

This fifty-something, who runs construction sites, remembers him that another friend had been hastily withdrawn from the troop by his mother.

During a rally, the scout leader had taken this friend aside under oak trees to "talk about God" to him.

"A break was created at that time," he says, convinced that "things" have taken place.

Like Yannick, Gaël describes the scout leader as “a magnet for kids, always surrounded by young boys”.

He too is convinced that there were other victims.

What to do ?

For Gaël and Yannick, the facts are prescribed.

"And go beat him up, that would be pointless ..."

Claire: "I thought I was dying"

Claire, Bretonne, had not dared to speak after being raped by her scout leader.

(Illustration) LP / OB  

Claire

(the first name has been changed)

, a university professor, will never have been able to reveal her secret to her parents, who died recently.

"It is a silence that is essential, a silence induced by the force of the trauma itself", summarizes this fifty-something.

More than forty years ago, aged about ten, she was raped by a scout leader during a camp in Brittany.

"I thought I was dying, or something close to that," she testifies.

Back home, she is silent.

“I feared the reaction of my parents who would surely have refused to believe me.

Above all, I wanted to save them from suffering, from shame.

My father would never have borne to learn such a thing.

»She remembers that at the time,« everyone knew each other in the parishes.

The volunteers were involved in scouting, the fair, the choir, catechism… It was impossible to question a relational and social system.

"

During her adolescence, when she left the movement around "13-14 years", "the discomfort can no longer be contained".

She runs away, falls into depression, but does not express herself to her parents.

At 16, she learned of the suicide of the scout leader who attacked her.

He was less than 30 years old.

She does not know the precise reasons for her action but knows that her rapist had been ousted from the movement.

Not long ago, she heard of a disagreement with her partner, also involved in the troop, but no mention of suspicion of sexual assault which would have returned to the ears of the management.

This suicide remains a mystery for Claire.

“At the time, it made everything worse.

I felt guilty.

"

READ ALSO>

Sexual violence on minors: the Collective for children calls for "a strong and clear prohibition"

Growing up, this Breton "developed a form of resilience".

“I have learned to live with it, but I remain vulnerable to the grip of those who abuse their power,” she concedes.

“I'm looking for reasons for everything, it's a way, perhaps, to control everything.

That's why I became a researcher ”, cowardly Claire, who also concedes“ a claustrophobic tendency ”.

For twenty years, she has been followed by a psychiatrist with whom she took a long time to approach her assault.

“I wrote him letters because I could hardly talk about it in the session.

Her father's death broke "the lock of silence", although some of her siblings are still unaware.

Claire was then able to discuss her trauma with her partner and recontact a volunteer from the parish of her childhood.

But she did not file a complaint because "the facts have been prescribed for a long time and suicide has extinguished everything".

“Looking for traces, something which makes the aggression tangible and which gives meaning to the stigmata it has left”, this is her struggle.

Philippe: "My brain has tripped"

Philippe was on a boat when he believes he was sexually abused by his chaplain.

(Illustration) LP  

Partial and painful memories suddenly resurfaced in September 2012, sixteen years after the events.

“I had the same dream three nights in a row, it alerted me a bit.

I then consulted a shrink and it came back to me little by little, ”says Philippe

(the first name has been changed)

, 39, socio-cultural coordinator who insists on strict anonymity because the case is before the courts.

He was the victim of traumatic amnesia, not having been aware of the violence suffered for a long time.

It was in the summer of 1996, during a boat scout camp.

He was then 14 years old.

That day, he remembers that the chaplain of the troop, "the only master on board after God", had invited the young people to bathe without underpants.

“He wanted to introduce nudity as something mundane.

"

When drying off and putting on his swimsuit, Philippe falls on his manager.

“Out of sight and after assuring me that this was normal, he hugged me and then kissed me.

My brain then tripped.

This is the black hole.

I just remember when I come to my senses I'm sitting next to him on the starboard bunk with his left arm around my shoulders, ”he describes.

Philippe is convinced of having been sexually abused.

READ ALSO>

Rape: "Amnesia prevents all speech"

A few years after this assault, the chaplain was sentenced for similar acts to two years in prison before being "put in the green".

Philippe learned about it from an article in the local press.

“I was a high school student at the time, it was a commotion in my head.

I went to prostrate myself in my room, ”he testifies.

At the time, traumatic amnesia obliges him, he cannot explain the source of his "deep discomfort": addiction to cannabis, hyperanxiety, "chaotic" love relationships, low self-esteem ...

Philippe managed to put words to his pain when he had just passed his thirties, "just after a burnout at work".

“My parents believed me straight away.

My mother said to me:

I suspected that something had happened.

"

Understanding what had happened to him obviously did not erase all the consequences.

The feeling of "something broken" in yourself, of being "still a teenager".

Difficulty "showing affection to children", fearing that this would be misinterpreted.

Periods of isolation for several days, with his phone in silent mode.

Philippe also hates being blown on the right side of his neck.

"And I hate the sight of my semen, I have feelings of discomfort during certain sexual acts.

It has an impact on my life as a couple.

My wife thinks that I am not attracted to her, therefore she feels rejected.

She is a collateral victim, ”he emphasizes.

This practicing Catholic lost his faith, he who had made his communion, his profession of faith, his confirmation and pilgrimages to Lourdes.

"For me, I am not worthy to live, I do not believe in myself", he suffers.

It is therefore difficult to "project serenely into the future".

His psychiatrist diagnosed him with "post-traumatic stress disorder, with emotional disturbances."

He sometimes has the feeling "of having received a life sentence" when he is "not responsible for anything".

He can count on the “enormous support” of his parents, his wife and his friends.

“Without them, I would be either on the street or six feet underground.

"

A few days before the statute of limitations, he lodged a complaint against his attacker.

“It was a big anxiety-provoking decision.

Because even if this man destroyed my life, it is still difficult to tell me that I could change his.

"