Megadi equality and violence against women are at the center of an exhibition, displayed on the ruins of the "Possict" strip club • One of the exhibitors confronts a violent affair at the age of 12
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From the book "How You Still Smile"
Imagine a 12-year-old girl, meets a guy who is also still a teenager but older, 17. She falls in love with him and believes in the wonders of first and innocent love.
But that's not what it was.
The girl is Sabina Fishman - today a 26-year-old resident of Nof Hagalil, a student at the Goren School of Visual Communication at the Emek Yizrael Academy.
At the age of 12 she met the young man who lived not far from her home.
"At first everything was good and beautiful. I was a girl in love. But as time went on he closed in on me. He put pressure on me, restricted me, I was not allowed to meet my girlfriends. He demanded that I go straight home from school, tell him everything that happened to me.
"Then came the violence. When we were many most of the time it was dragged into beatings. Yes, yes, real beatings and strangulation, even on the street. But people would pass by and look and say nothing. At home I would apply make-up on the blue marks that my mother and brother would not notice," she recalls. Sabina Fishman.
Was it like that all the time?
"Yeah. And more. We were arguing about silly things and then he would come to my house, always know how to aim when Mom and my brother were not home, he would scream and knock on the door violently. I was afraid to open and I would pretend I was not home.
"When we were many in his house, his family not only did not separate us, they would curse me, like that on the way. Every time after a violent quarrel when I wanted to separate he would apologize and promise it would not happen again, and I believed him. I was a girl in love and there were also Beautiful moments".
Sabina Fishman was born in Israel to parents who immigrated from Belarus.
When she was nine her parents divorced, the father emigrated to Australia and the connection with him was almost completely severed.
She remained at home with her mother and brother who was ten years her senior.
What did they say at home?
"When mum saw him for the first time she told me he did not like her and that he was not for me. But I was a rebellious girl and I rejected her with 'OK, OK', like what she understands. In time I started hiding things from her that happened to me. I went to school, but Let's say I was not an excellent student, and I always went home to him after school. "
In the end did you say goodbye to him?
"Yes. One day I asked the friend for permission to go to the birthday party of a friend of mine who lived in my block. After begging he agreed, but conditioned it on us not leaving her house and after the party I would go straight home. But at one point the girlfriends suggested we go outside and I joined. When he heard about it he went on a rampage and started looking for me on the street, and I out of fear escaped and hid with a friend inside one of the dark buildings, where I first told her what I was going through in the last year, how he treated me and also revealed why I broke up with friends. He demanded of me.
• Did Remy also have to leave the "Big Brother" house?
"The next day four friends came to my house and forced me to go with them to file a complaint with the police and refused to give up until I got up and went with them to the station. Unfortunately, the police station did not take us seriously and demanded that I only come with an adult. "And the same thing that happened. I felt humiliated. Later I was sent to a hospital for tests, and later to another 'twenty thousand psychologists' and endless discussions."
And what happened to the guy?
"He was arrested. And later he was sent under house arrest and a restraining order was issued against him."
The restraining order did not end the violent saga.
"His mother came to my mother's job, shouted and cursed at her in rude words. She and others claimed I had fucked her son, and called me derogatory names. When she saw me on the street she would point a triple finger at me. It was scary. Although the connection with him was completely severed, I was apprehensive Lest I meet him on the street and who knows what will happen. "
How did mom react?
"It was not easy for her to know that this was what I went through. She was disappointed and angry with me but she was also glad I was able to get out of it. My brother was upset by what they did to his little sister and we really had to hold on to force not to do an act not worth the price he might pay. He's my best friend in the world. "
Repair time
For 13 years Sabina Fishman's story was mostly personal and at most familial.
Now, on the occasion of International Women's Day, Fishman reveals what happened to her through an original work, a book called "How You Still Smile."
In the 37 pages of the book, Fishman explains in short passages what happened to her during her teenage years at the age of 12-13, and is accompanied by the same illustrations she painted in watercolors in free technique.
The book is featured in a unique exhibition called "Midnight Correction" that is on display for eight days (March 4-11) on a surprising website - about the remains of the infamous "Pussict" strip club.
The exhibition deals with gender equality, the war against sexual violence, the flooding of creative solutions to the problem and the call for social correction.
The exhibition was curated by Nurit Jacobson Yinon and Dr. Efrat Grossman. Among the exhibits in the exhibition are posters, illustrations, animated videos, advertising campaigns, books and more, challenging the rape culture. Fishman from the Goren school.
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"To cast light where darkness reigns"
The exhibition is an initiative of Dr. Efrat Grossman, head of the Academic College of Arts and Design "Emuna". "The idea for the exhibition was born following the rape in Eilat," says Grossman. "I thought it was time to see the protest of the designers, who would say how to change the situation.
The exhibition we created calls for the correction of our visual space, assuming that just as language creates reality, so too does visual language create reality.
"The works in the exhibition do not hang on the gallery walls but fit into the space itself, as if seeking to cast light where darkness reigns. This is an activist act that calls for correction in the public space," says Dr. Grossman.
This is the first time that departments from all colleges of visual communication are collaborating.
About 400 second- and third-year students, in a rare composition of women and men, religious and secular, Arabs and Jews, members of the center and the periphery, responded to the challenge, and from them, about 60 works displayed in the exhibition were selected.
The rest of the works appear on the exhibition's website.
The exhibition will open a multi-year tradition and each year will be presented in a different space and in different locations in order to create a space for artistic and academic collaboration with the departments of visual communication in the various art academies in Israel: Bezalel, Shenkar, WIZO, Holon, Manshar, Goren, Holon Institute of Technology and Emuna.
• Daniel Tor Noble in a special column for Women's Day
"He who commits such deeds is the one who should feel ashamed"
"When my lecturer in the 'Culture, Society and Design' course presented us with a presentation ahead of the forthcoming exhibition on the occasion of International Women's Day, she talked about topics such as sexual violence against women, the Mei Tu movement, a discussion on the status of women, female empowerment, body image and more. "Do I want and mature to reveal my case. In a conversation with lecturer Anat Saks, a willingness was formed within me to reveal the story that also carries a healing message for girls and other women."
What happened to you during work?
"The work on the book lasted about two and a half months and during it came hard memories that flooded with pain, anger and introspection. I was angry with myself and asked 'what did you think of yourself'?"
And today?
"I look at things differently. I'm in a thousand times better position. I know that whoever does such deeds is the one who should feel ashamed.
"I was happy to get out of it, thanks to the first move of my girlfriends, who to this day I say deserve a big nose for their behavior. Each of them has a warm corner in my heart.
"Often when I am exposed in the media to stories of violence against women, such as the late Michal Sala and Diana Deadbiev, or Shira Isakov, I think to myself, that if I had continued to be in touch with him I could have been one of those women.
"I would like to forget what happened but the scar is still there. I was afraid of a new relationship after this incident, I was afraid that maybe all the men are violent.
Today Sabina is in a relationship with a man she describes as "a good, loving and respectful person who cares about me. He lets me express myself, and I feel at peace with him. With the writing of the book and its illustration I know for sure that I have developed. I chose life and learned to love."
"Tikkun Hatzot" will be presented until March 11, in collaboration with the "Emuna" movement and the Tel Aviv Municipality.