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Rule 3: The change that can save parents who are worn out by marriage
If your relationship has been faltering since you were sucked into the parenting universe, this tip could make a big difference in your relationship.
"The silent cancer that gnawed at our marriage from within has dissipated"
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Relationships
Walla!
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Sunday, 07 March 2021, 09:14 Updated: Tuesday, 09 March 2021, 07:14
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Noon in the middle of the day when all the children are home? Sir crazy? Dad sleeping on the couch (Photo: ShutterStock)
Taking care of young children, every parent will tell you, is abrasive and exhausting - even if rewarding, and the relative marital system between the parents is the first to pay the price for it.
If before the kids you had plenty of quality time together, leisure to go out on dates in restaurants or the cinema or even just watch a series together on TV, now the kids draw all the attention, time and resources (and also the hours of sleep).
It is completely natural, but not irreversible.
Meet the 3 on 3 Law - this is an anonymous tip that came to the Kidspot parenting site courtesy of an exhausted mother, who said he made a real difference in her and her partner's lives.
It all started when the same partner and the father of her children did something he would not do - he fell asleep spontaneously in the middle of the day while all the children were awake at home. His friends who are in couple counseling received a tip from the marriage counselor - each one gets 3 hours a week for himself, and suggested she try it for themselves.
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Each couple can choose whether he takes his 3 hours at once or divides them over the week.
But the idea is that each spouse has a time-out in which he is relieved of his parental duties and can spend quality time with himself or herself, and he can do at that time whatever comes to his mind.
Let's be this couple.
A couple of parents embracing (Photo: ShutterStock)
"We have been applying this new rule in our relationship for about a month now, and I am shocked by the change it has already managed to make between us," the woman told the parenting site.
She honestly added that this time did not necessarily make her and her partner better parents as a magic wand, but "something deeper happened - all the resentment and baggage, this silent cancer that gnawed at our marriage from within has really dissipated."
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She added that knowing that each of them has time for themselves set in the family schedule made her less explosive, and instead of wasting time when she goes shopping for example, just to gain a few more minutes of quiet, she knows she has time for her affairs during the week "Is it easier for me to understand my husband's spontaneous sparks in the middle of the day now? Absolutely. Is I still burning with the urge to turn on the vacuum cleaner and burst into the bedroom with him when he does - too. Yes. But I'm human, after all." , The woman concluded.
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