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We were slaves: this is what the last year looked like for parents

In the first closure we still did not really understand what was happening.

In both we tried to turn the lemon into lemonade.

On Tuesday we learned that adding arak to lemonade really helps to cope.

And by Wednesday we had already considered dripping some cyanide into a glass

Tags

• parenthood

• Corona

Strider Schleider Putschnik

Sunday, 28 March 2021, 08:55 Updated: 08:57

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Take a moment to think about the past year, then imagine what would have happened if you had known in advance that this would be the case.

Tired mother in quarantine with children (Photo: ShutterStock)

If we knew in March 2020 what we know today, it is doubtful we would have met it.

The luck of the parents here, is that like many other things in this country and in this life, the corona also came by the salami method.

At first, there was talk of a two-week closure.

We moved to work from home, and the kids climbed the walls a bit.

Unpleasant, but not very different from what every home with children has hitherto known as a "Passover holiday," say.

But then the grandmothers took us, and gave us the zoom.

And another closure, and another one, and another.

More on Walla!

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For a year now we have been at home, sitting bent over our laptops in the dining area we bought to host family and friends for meals, but it is impossible to host anyone and it has become an impromptu office.

We learned to work from home, then work from home and operate a children's zoom in parallel, then work from home and operate a zoom and prepare 3 full meals a day.

Children, you are amazing and heroes.

really.

But we owe some spice.

Girls dressed as superheroes (Photo: ShutterStock)

In the first closure we still did not really understand what was happening.

In both we tried to turn the lemon into lemonade.

On Tuesday we learned that adding arak to lemonade really helps to deal with everything.

And by Wednesday we had already considered dripping some cyanide into a glass.

On my mothers 'friends' WhatsApp, a friend sent a post she saw on Facebook in the last closure.

In the overflowing post, one mother told how her son's Meltdown made her lose patience again and get mad at him but then he cried and she realized that for children this whole year is also very difficult, and it's okay that they do not want to zoom, because they are really heroes in their dealings with this.

The bottom line was that she sent all the parents to go pick up their kids and tell them they were superheroes.

Everything is true in this post: the anger, the crying, the impatience, and also the recognition that our children have bravely faced a changing, unstable and difficult reality.

They really are superheroes.

Now, if they would just like to put on their robes and fly off our face a little bit, maybe we too can get some perspective and see it.

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In general, we were left alone to deal with our lives and disconnected from all our regular support networks and from any outlets where we used to recharge our batteries.

No more meetings with friends and girlfriends, nowhere to go, no extended family to meet.

Just us and the kids (and our work and their school) inside a home pressure cooker.

"A lot of the days I feel like screaming or crying. Or both," one of the members of WhatsApp wrote to me, which has become the only place we meet.

Doing an uncoordinated round where every time someone else collapses into despair and the others try to encourage her, write her words of support designed to convince her, but also themselves - that everything we feel is legitimate, that it is really hard, that we do and do our best and most of the time We are just fine parents.

This is what my half full glass looks like.

What's yours?

Red wine (Photo: ShutterStock)

And the relationship, what about her?

Hope she's still there when the corona is over.

Because now, it's really beyond the powers of most of us to work at that as well.

This week we met for the first time with two pairs of friends for a triple date of 3 pairs of frayed parents.

One of them, like me, has 3 sons at home and unlike me (thank God) is pregnant for the fourth time (!), She gently groped with me: "Say ... what is the decibel level in your house?".

I answered her with my own question: "Ours or the children's?"

And my husband concluded: "It doesn't really matter. Both they and we scream all the time."

It's not that everything is terrible all the time.

There were also good things during this year and most parents were also able to see the glass half full in the new situation imposed on them: who in a re-approach to his children, or in a more balanced division of the combination of parenting, home and work tasks between spouses.

But the thing with the half-full glass is that it's something that, as a rule, tends to look at when we're evil.

When it's really good for us, we do not need a cup or halves.

So yes, we know how to look for the good when necessary, but this "need" signals that in general - not good for us.

It was not a good year for the parents, but we did our best.

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