Are you more similar than different and do you have mutual trust?
Your relationship may be better than you might think
The ways to know you're good together
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GettyImages
In a good marital relationship, our tendency to pay attention to the problematic points prevents us from perceiving how good we are, how much life alongside the partner we have chosen provides and promotes us.
It often happens that many people completely miss the satisfaction and great pleasure that is in their marital system, and engage in trivial things.
Worse, sometimes, when there are really no problems in our relationship other than an initial spark that goes out a bit, we create problems by focusing on something marginal that differentiates us from our partner, and we amplify a problem that does not exist.
To the previous article: 10 signs that are going to say goodbye to you
This unnecessary reality often prevents us from realizing how good we are, how much the partner we have chosen is right for us and how much it promotes us.
Here are 10 signs that you are in a much better relationship than you think from Gary Lewandowski, author of the book Stronger Than You Think.
You can be who you are without fear of criticism -
once you live in a couple system without the need to hide, you are just you, without all the masks out there.
Your spouse accepts you as you are and does not try to change you.
Your spouse is your
soulmate
-
In many ways, once your spouse is also your closest and most supportive soulmate, you can say that your relationship is full in every way.
A supportive couple system, which allows for exposure, which supports the other person as he is, produces a deep mental and sexual connection that cannot be achieved in any other way.
There is comfort, there are no fears - getting
closer to another person, removing all defenses, not questioning the relationship even in challenging situations, is a real sign of a good, warm and strong relationship.
You finally have your own safe place, without emotional walls, a place that cares for you and loves you.
Such an achievement in a relationship is an advantage that we do not always pay attention to despite its tremendous importance.
You are more similar than different -
True, spouses do not always like the same movies or hobbies, but you are comfortable lying on the couch together at the end of a work day and in this you are similar, you are comfortable drinking coffee together in the kitchen calmly, cooking, laughing or enjoying moments of intimacy.
Once you are similar in most things, then the other external differences are not important and even unnecessary.
You feel like a team - the
meaning is when you are asked a question and you answer "we", or "we thought about ..", "we started watching a new series ..", and more.
The use of plural language indicates a deep cognitive connection and a shared identity in a relationship.
Studies show that those who feel this way experience a good and stable relationship.
Spouse makes you better - it
does not mean that they are trying to change you, on the contrary.
Your partner accepts you as you are, and is willing to be in every process and every experiment you make in life.
It allows you to open up to a new world of experiences, and together you discover different worlds and experiences.
Such a relationship, which allows you to expand in your time and path, indicates a good connection and significant stability.
You share responsibilities -
you never feel that everything is up to you, that your partner does not take part, but you are full partners in decisions, you both have a statement, and the division of labor between you is right.
The partner is a good person for you - you will
be surprised, but what we all really want from the partner is reliability, courtesy and warmth.
These are the basis for a strong bond that will stand the tests of life.
You trust each other -
no secrets, you know the password to your spouse's phone, you know that in decision making what will lead your partner is the common interest and he will not surprise you with a selfish decision, your spouse is always there when you need to.
You do not have big problems in a relationship - it
is very easy to take out of proportion just a small problem in a relationship.
A situation that has no problems, that the lives of both of you are pretty good overall, is a wonderful situation.
One does not have to look for the dark corners to understand this.
And a word of conclusion:
Every stable couple system has these elements at a different level.
Do not stay in a bad marital system because there is good in it too, but if it is good for you, if you do not have critical problems, then let yourself open up to your partner, further your cohabitation and deepen the relationship, you will only benefit from it.