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Confinement: "Parents must be more indulgent towards themselves"

2021-04-05T15:22:35.299Z


The psychoanalyst Claude Halmos gives some tips to parents to better live this period, as France enters its third


Following the announcements of the Head of State, Wednesday March 31, France is now engaged in a third confinement, throughout its territory.

From Tuesday, families will be reunited under the same roof, between systematized teleworking and the closure of schools for three weeks.

To overcome this ordeal, the psychoanalyst Claude Halmos, author of numerous books on childhood and early childhood, recommends in particular that parents redouble their pedagogy towards the youngest and, above all, be indulgent with themselves.

What advice can be given to parents to better experience this third confinement, especially in the relationship with children?

CLAUDE HALMOS

.

To pretend that parents can be given advice would be one way of making them believe that there is a good way to experience all of this, but that would be a delusion.

What we have to do is recognize - we are not doing it enough - the extreme gravity of what they are going through.

So that they can recognize it themselves, realize that their difficulties are more than legitimate, and stop feeling guilty for not doing better.

Parents have had to endure, for a year now, an enormous burden of anxiety and psychological difficulties, and, in addition, to protect their children.

All of this is compounded by dramatic economic problems for more and more of them.

They need help to find in themselves the weapons to resist.

Some have bitter memories of the first confinement, when they exhausted themselves from homeschooling.

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For many parents, the first confinement was a terrible ordeal, psychological and physical.

Some had to go to work at night.

They were exhausted, yet they felt like they were doing everything wrong.

They should come to admit that no one can do everything perfectly, be more indulgent towards themselves, and especially that they come out of loneliness to seek the help of others, parents of students, work colleagues or even neighbors.

Feeling a presence at his side is a point of support.

By pooling our problems and solutions, we are always stronger.

READ ALSO>

Confinement: who will take care of the children, mom or dad?


How to overcome this feeling of repetition, this weariness which sets in in the face of the health crisis?

But we don't have

a feeling of repetition

, we are facing repetition, real and unbearable!

How not to be fed up with it?

It's normal !

And it bears repeating:

If you are morally exhausted, it is not because you are fragile, it is because what we are currently experiencing is morally exhausting.

We do not tell parents enough, who, as a result, imagine they are not up to the task, and devalue themselves, which is destructive.

The remedy, again, is mutual aid.

It is possible, by phone or by meeting, no more than six people, and respecting barrier gestures.

It is

under water

?

Yes, but some families are probably even more so.

By helping others, we also help ourselves, because taking action allows us to fight against the feeling of helplessness in which this pandemic keeps us.

VIDEO.

Closure of schools: "It will be to the detriment of our work," say some parents

Adolescents and children also suffer greatly from the situation.

How can their parents help them?

The children must endure, at this moment, in addition to their own anxieties, those of their parents, which they still feel.

It is therefore important that the latter do not try to hide their concerns from them, but on the contrary explain them to them: the reality, even difficult, is always less dramatic than what children can, without explanations, imagine.

School deprivation is also very difficult for them, because school is not only the place where they acquire knowledge.

It is also that of their

private

life

, far from the eyes of the family, that of their social life with their friends, their teachers.

In addition, with the confinement they have to endure the hyper presence of their parents, parents whom the situation often makes more irritable.

You have to tell them: telecommuting and homeschooling is difficult, but children are not responsible for it, and that does not mean that they are a burden.

Precisely, should we invite them to take more part in domestic life?

It is especially important to help them feel useful too.

We can explain to them that the house is like a boat where everyone has to do their share of the work so that they can move forward, and entrust them with a specific task.

It will be rewarding for them, it will teach them mutual aid and solidarity.

A great lesson in life.

Source: leparis

All life articles on 2021-04-05

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