health
parenthood
How do you explain the days of remembrance to preschool children?
Lots of parents are afraid that the days of remembrance will arouse in their children fears, sadness and difficulty.
But children's perceptions of reality are different from ours, and there is a way to explain to them the complexity of memory days in a way that will contribute to them
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Holocaust and Heroism Day
Memorial Day
Children
parenthood
sadness
Death
Walla!
health
Wednesday, 07 April 2021, 07:08 Updated: 07:29
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Sadness is an important part of life.
Sad girl (Photo: ShutterStock)
As parents, we would like to raise our children in a protective and happy bubble.
We would like to see them regularly happy and happy.
This desire is natural and understandable, but does not stand the test of contemporary reality.
Our reality includes lots of moments of happiness, joy and pleasure, along with moments of difficulty, frustration and sadness.
When we come to talk to children about the upcoming days of remembrance, it is important that we understand that training for healthy coping even with moments of difficulty and pain, is an integral part of our parenting role.
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For us, the biggest difficulty is our understanding, as adults, of the difficult meaning of the days of remembrance for the plethora of charged emotions they flood for us.
That is why it is so difficult for us to mediate for our children the meaning of these days.
We fear that the days of remembrance will also arouse in our children fears, anxieties, sadness and difficulty.
However, it is important to understand that children's perceptions of reality are significantly different from ours, and they do not yet have the ability to think abstractly.
In fact, they do not have the maturity to grasp reality for all its complexity, like us adults.
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For the days of remembrance, we must mediate the events that will come, and especially the difference that exists in these special days compared to the familiar routine.
Here are some points that are important to address when we come to explain to children about Memorial Days:
An age-appropriate explanation and ability to understand:
Despite the understandable desire to protect the child, it is important that we also explain bereavement and death.
After all, our children will encounter these issues during their lifetime.
We will explain in words adapted to each child, according to his age and ability to understand.
We will explain Remembrance Day in a matter-of-fact manner, without dramas, exaggerations or overly detailed descriptions.
And of course, we will mention that Israel is a safe country.
What has happened, has happened in the past:
Young children do not yet have a tangible perception of time.
It is therefore important to distance historical events from contemporary reality, in order to avoid concerns on the part of the child.
We will explain that these are events that took place a long time ago, and we commemorate them in ceremonies at the national level.
Optimistic worldview:
It is likely that these events took place in the past, whereas today we have an independent state with security and military forces, which guard us and allow us a protected life.
This way, the children will feel safe and will not get stressed from the explanation.
The explanatory connection between what was in the past and the power and confidence in the present will help to perceive the historical events in a more optimistic way.
It is advisable to explain the siren before it occurs so as not to cause unnecessary panic.
People stand at the siren (Photo: Reuven Castro)
Allow to cry:
It is natural that in these charged days, our children will see us sad or shed tears.
We will explain to the children about our feelings, and remind them that it is okay and even desirable to cry when they are sad.
It is definitely a wonderful model of expressing emotions and of important emotional dialogue with our children.
We are with you:
we will be updated in advance on what is expected to happen in the educational frameworks and we will assist in mediating the Remembrance Day routine.
Of course we will be aware of any change in the children's behavior, especially if they have been exposed to content or personal stories.
We will be empathetic to the child's difficulty, embrace and remember that we are here with them, always guarding and protecting them.
The siren is very loud
: it is recommended to explain the siren before it occurs so as not to cause unnecessary panic.
Recall that this is a moment common to all citizens of the country in which we remember and honor the memory of people and fighters who have been killed in the past.
We will explain that every year there is a siren and how it is customary to respect the class.
Of course, the difference between the siren of remembrance and the siren that originates in a security incident or a siren of practice in educational settings must be explained to children.
Leah Stern is a lecturer and parent facilitator at the Adler Institute
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