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"But why are you doing this?" : these fathers who took parental leave at the birth of their child

2021-04-10T12:13:43.688Z


Guillaume, Jean, Kévin, Pascal, Juan ... These men are part of the 1% of fathers who put their family life before their career.


Guillaume returned to work on April 1.

A “funny” return to school, after a long hiatus for full-time parental leave.

And this is not his first attempt: this condominium manager, father of three boys in Montlhéry (Essonne), had already benefited from the birth of his second child.

It was six years ago, but the thirty-something still remembers the reaction of the agency director, when he announced his decision to take two years away to take care of his son.

“His words will stay in my memory forever.

He said to me:

Guillaume, but why are you doing this?

It is women who take parental leave!

"

He never set foot in the agency again.

Guillaume is part of this tiny percentage (1%) of fathers who take full-time parental leave at the birth of their child, according to a recent study by the French Economic Observatory.

This finding suggests "a gendered effect of parental leave", explains Hélène Périvier, one of the two authors of the study - with Grégory Verdugo.

Perhaps some fathers do not know their rights well, or others believe that this leave is "a woman's affair", or they are "dissuaded" because they find that their male colleagues do not resort to it. not, the authors assume.

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Parental leave still largely shunned by fathers

“In France, we have little evolved discourse, estimates Guillaume.

It's something dedicated to women and full stop.

For their first child, his wife had stopped for six months.

But Marie did not wish to repeat the experience.

"The break with the professional environment is far from obvious," she confides.

“In the family, my decision was accepted but it was complicated,” continues Guillaume.

Yet it has been the happiest period of my life.

“Despite the sacrifices that the amputation of a salary - 2,000 euros net per month, the most important of the couple - requires.

“We learned to live and consume differently: less shopping, no more movies or restaurants.

The holidays are spent in the family home in Brittany, and the couple now benefit from personalized housing assistance (APL).

“We knew what to expect, even if it was difficult at first, because we both made a decent living.

"

An "inexplicable link" with the children in care

This choice of life often stems from a desire to deviate from a family model.

“I didn't often see my father during the week,” says Guillaume.

With mine, I didn't want to reproduce that.

Today I have a relationship with my children that I never had with my father.

There is an inexplicable connection with the two that I kept.

"

Same resolution for Kevin, placed in foster care at the age of two.

At 25, this early-maturing former carpenter is the father of a 5-year-old girl and a 3-year-old boy.

“When my daughter was born, I always told myself that I was going to be there.

I had a good life, but what I did not receive from my biological mother, I wanted to give to my children, even if it means having no money.

So I quit right away and kept her for almost three years.

His relatives rather looked down on the father at home.

“I was told: you

have to work, you can't look after your children.

"

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Jean, author and actor of 35 years, did not come under criticism, on the contrary.

“Even those I turned down job offers were extremely understanding.

We are heirs to centuries when women stayed at home.

We get out of it, but little by little.

A man who stops, it still feels very weird.

"

The Lyonnais took advantage of a juicy contract in Switzerland during his wife's pregnancy to put money aside and stop a year after the birth of his daughter.

“My little sister is ten years younger than me.

I saw her grow up almost like a father, and above all I understood that the first moments of a child's growth are gone forever, there is no going back.

I absolutely wanted to be there to experience them.

I couldn't have stopped if I hadn't made such a good living, and I couldn't have done it for my second child.

"

"A moment of reorientation" for the man

If they are so few to have recourse to parental leave, it is because the couple is based on a double inequality.

That of taking charge of domestic and parental work, and that of remuneration, recalls Céline Bessière, professor of sociology at the University of Paris Dauphine, specialist in the economy in the family.

“Within the couple, the pay gap between man and woman is 42% on average, according to INSEE.

"According to his observations," the few men who take parental leave take the opportunity to do training, to branch off in their professional life ... They often use it as a moment of reorientation. "

This is the case of Pascal, 40, former manager of a personal services company in Lyon.

He sold his company to take care of his daughters for four years.

“With my partner, we started early and ended late.

It was not the life we ​​wanted for them or for us.

So we simplified the organization: I stopped!

The small family can afford to live on the sole income of their companion, who works in industrial safety, but not on his own.

Pascal admits it: the takeover worries him, even if he still has two years ahead of him to think about his conversion.

Juan, a 30-year-old Spanish teacher, took advantage of the transfer of his wife, a territorial civil servant, to take a one-and-a-half-year break in his professional life.

He defends a progressive vision of the couple: “We share all the tasks.

Fortunately, my wife, who earns a better living than me, has a job that allows me to take parental leave.

We will do with the help of the CAF the first six months, then we will improvise ... "For Myriam Chatot, who has prepared a thesis on parental leave for fathers in France, the whole problem is there.

"This is the characteristic of the French model: the possibility of taking a very long but very poorly paid leave".

Namely 399 euros per month, regardless of the previous remuneration.

The low level of compensation compared to other countries such as Germany, where it amounts to 67% of net salary, explains the failure of the 2015 reform. The latter introduced parental leave of two years maximum, and three years provided that the second parent takes over the last year, to encourage fathers to get started.

In vain.

“The government had claimed to reproduce the German reform, while the latter had provided for greater compensation.

It is the combination of these two factors that has enabled its success, ”analyzes the post-doctoral fellow at IRISSO Paris-Dauphine.

According to her, it is urgent to increase the compensation for full-time parental leave "if we want fathers to do it".

An option "in decline for men and women", who prefer part-time parental leave.

Source: leparis

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