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"I went up to my husband's grave and asked him to find me a good match." Israel today

2021-04-13T19:34:53.422Z

| Love and relationships Ortal lost her husband in the Carmel disaster while pregnant with their sixth child • Lee's husband was killed in an operation when she was young, and she chose to continue • They both received the news of the death of a loved one after they were missing Ortal's daughter on Uriel's grave Photo:  Courtesy of the family Ortal and Uriel Malka were married for ten years when Uriel died in the ter



Ortal lost her husband in the Carmel disaster while pregnant with their sixth child • Lee's husband was killed in an operation when she was young, and she chose to continue • They both received the news of the death of a loved one after they were missing

  • Ortal's daughter on Uriel's grave

    Photo: 

    Courtesy of the family

Ortal and Uriel Malka were married for ten years when Uriel died in the terrible Carmel disaster.

Ortal then had five children, when the eldest daughter was 9 years old and she was six months pregnant with the daughter who was born six months after Uriel's death and was named after him - Uriah. 

"I remember it like now, it was Thursday, the second candle of Hanukkah, and usually it was the day Uriel comes home from the IPS officers' course he took part in.

That day Uriel called to say that there was a fire in Carmel and they were brought there to help evacuate Ramon Prison at the top of the mountain, so he would be late.

That call was at a quarter to three, and I went to bed.

At four o'clock, Uriel's sister called and asked me when I spoke to Uri.

She told me to quickly open the computer and I saw the sights of the burned bus.

I immediately tried to call him and there was no answer.

I realized that either he was stuck in prison without absorption or he was on the bus. " 

When did they come to preach the bad news?

"The knock on the door was at 12 at night, the city officer arrived with two soldiers. They went inside and told me that Uriel was missing. My parents were with me and my mother said that if he was missing then there was still a chance, but they informed me on Saturday night that they recognized Uriel, and then also It was his funeral. " 

"When you have small children, the option of collapsing does not exist at all," she explains.

"My children held me on their feet, I clung to the understanding that if I fell the whole house would fall," she says.

A year ago she remarried.

"Exactly after 19 years of my and Uriel's marriage, a round day in which the Hebrew and the foreign date were united, I went up to his grave and asked him to find me a normal person to marry, because until then I had some unsuccessful dates. Exactly two days after my prayer I met my current husband." .

How did the children react to the new reality?

"Since my children are already adults, they say everything on the table, and they knew I was looking for a relationship. They also realized that soon everyone would be leaving the house and that I would be left alone. It was not easy, there were difficult moments because it was suddenly getting a stranger as a father, but in the end In fact, they see that it is good for me and they are very happy about it. "

"I have decided to continue to fulfill both of our dreams"

Lee Torston Adani became an IDF widow towards the age of 22 after her husband, David Torston, a fighter and paramedic in Unit 669, fell in Operation Peace of the Galilee, which later turned into a PLO war.

"We've been married for almost four years. I graduated and David set up a law firm and started publishing. On Sunday he was called to look for wounded in the Nabatieh area. The crew got there and the helicopter snatched an anti - aircraft missile and exploded in the air.

Later, at eight o'clock in the evening, there was a knock on the door.

My friend Ofra came because we had to study together, but four IDF officers came with her. I did not understand at the first second what was happening, and I told them 'just tell me he's alive', but then they entered the house and I started shouting, I remember my screams until "Today, I screamed, 'Tell me he's alive,' and they said, 'We do not know. He is missing, his helicopter exploded,'" she said. 

According to Lee, it took a week until the IDF found David's staff and managed to get her his wedding ring and necklace from him. "Unit 669 is like a small family, they accompanied me and accompanied me.

"Throughout that week I hoped he survived, but I remembered that he once told me that when a helicopter was hit and exploded, no one survived," she shares. 

Lee tells that already after the shiva she decided to continue with her life, while preserving the memory of her husband.

"I was really young. After the shiva I went out and saw that the world was going on, and only I was in mourning. I felt that people did not know what to do with me, and some looked at me from a distance, some crossed the road to the other sidewalk so as not to look me in the eye," she says.

"I decided to continue living in the here and now. I began to fulfill both my dreams and David's. I moved to a nearby place to start at home without memories. I did not want the title of 'IDF Widow', I refused to be in touch with the fallen organizations and dealt with the pain alone. .

"It was very difficult for my parents because they experienced David's downfall and my grief, and they wanted to wrap me in a hug and get me home, but I decided to continue my independence." 

One of Lee's choices was to preserve the family name Torston even if she remarried.

"After three years, I met Yair Adani, my husband, and with him I had two children. At the beginning of the relationship, I did not tell him that I was an IDF widow because I wanted him to know me as I was.

After three months I told him and he received me with this whole package.

When Shir, my daughter, was little, she went up to the second floor of the house where we lived and found the closet with the pictures.

She came to me and said 'Mom, there is a picture of you as a bride but the groom is not a dad'.

I have since told them about David and they preserve with me the memory and participate in all the ceremonies.

I was able to make mourning a part of the home, "she concludes.

Source: israelhayom

All life articles on 2021-04-13

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