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These kids may have a harder time on Memorial Day, so help them out - Walla! health


Remembrance Day is a difficult day for parents, who alongside personal pain need to find a way to mediate this complex reality for children. And it's even harder when it comes to children with special needs

  • health

  • parenthood

These children may have a harder time on Memorial Day, so help them

Remembrance Day is a very complex day for parents, who along with their personal pain also need to find a way to mediate this complex reality for children.

And it's even harder when it comes to children with special needs.

This is how you will do it right


  • Memorial Day

  • Children

  • Special Needs

  • parenthood

Ayelet Salomon and Meital Gorlik

Tuesday, 13 April 2021, 07:22

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It is important to prepare them well for the siren.

A boy puts his hands on his ears (Photo: ShutterStock)

Memorial Day is always a complex date, and most parents are troubled every year by the question of how to mediate such a complex and painful reality for young children.

This task is even more complex when it comes to children with special needs.

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Unlike children in regular education, the perception of reality of children with special needs does not depend on age but on their development, and therefore the mediation of Remembrance Days is more complex for the parents of special children.

Here are some rules that will help you do it right.

At what age do you start talking about Remembrance Day?

Just as issues of death and loss are not opened with kindergarten children without special needs, so too with children with special needs.

The overall recommendation is to talk about these issues over the age of 5, but this is only a general recommendation, it is important that every parent and every kindergartener be attentive to every child.

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It is important to remember that there are children with special needs who are very intelligent, so when talking to them you may feel that it is possible to have a conversation that is identical in level to a conversation with an adult.

But despite the very high level of intelligence, the emotion is still delicate, and the level of sensory regulation is still different from an adult or child without special needs, so it is important that we pay attention and become even more sensitive on such days to children with special needs.

How do you talk about Memorial Day with kids who are ready for it?

It is important to find specific activities through which you can mediate remembrance days, find out how to speak the child's language, through art and creation for example.

Emotions can be expressed - paint tanks and even produce a "social story", a book with lots of pictures and a bit of text that simulates visual illustration so that children can connect to it.

Parents can produce such a book and use it even with children without special needs, and thus through connecting to one story a slightly more complex reality can be mediated.

"Are you sad because everyone is sad?".

Sad child in kindergarten (Photo: ShutterStock)

Some children are able and willing to have a conversation on the subject, depending on their emotional capacity.

In these cases, open-ended but directed questions like, "Do you think his friends will miss him?"

Or "What do you do when you miss or when you feel sad?"

- can help them regulate their emotions.

Note that there are children who may emulate what society dictates to them to feel that day without really understanding the meaning of the day, as part of social construction.

And so are questions like "Why are you feeling sad?", Or "Are you sad because everyone is sad?"

Abilities can develop emotional discourse at a level where the child is ready for it.

And if the child is not ready yet?

If you feel that your child is not ready to process the days of remembrance - broadcast business as usual.

Processing of memory days is a cognitive ability that does not necessarily develop, and also depends on the mental state.

If you feel that following the exposure to Memorial Day content will be a developmental regression, choose the health of your children.

How do you prepare children with special needs for the siren?

It is important to tell children before there is a siren and it is even recommended to play it before so that they are prepared for it.

For children with special needs this is a real event - because most of them have difficulty with sensory regulation.

What we sound like is a beep, they will sound like a terrible noise.

It is therefore important to talk about it with the children the day before, and on the same day to mention that there will soon be a loud siren and it is important that we know how to deal with it.

It is also advisable to make cards in advance with all the things that can be done at the siren if it scares the child.

For example: give a hand to an adult who is nearby or put hands on the ears and be quiet.

Offer the child to lend a hand to the adult who is next to him during the siren.

Child holding adult's hand (Photo: ShutterStock)

Even after all the preparations it is important to have your hand on the pulse.

Notice the changes in your child's mood and his ability to communicate, if your child is generally sociable and he suddenly converges into himself, he may be exposed to content that he has not been able to process well.

It is also highly recommended to be in direct communication with the kindergarten teacher.

Ask how your child went through today, whether there were any significant changes, whether there was a special activity in kindergarten or a conversation developed about Memorial Days and how your children reacted to them.

Ayelet Salomon is a behavioral analyst and director of communication kindergartens at a communication center in the Perach chain in Beer Yaakov, sharing practical recommendations for parents of children with special needs.

Meital Gorlik is the director of flower dormitories for special education in plowing

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Source: walla

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