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Nasty to the friend? When partners feel sick, there is often a healthy attitude behind them - says sociologist

2021-04-15T07:16:54.351Z

Your closest confidante often gets his fat off? A sociologist explains why the partner in particular runs the risk of falling victim to insults.



Your closest confidante often gets his fat off?

A sociologist explains why the partner in particular runs the risk of falling victim to insults.

Probably everyone knows the phenomenon: In the getting to know you phase you show yourself from the chocolate side, you want to impress your counterpart always and everywhere.

But if you look at couples who have been together for many years, in some cases a different picture emerges.

Sometimes people get teased and the other person is offended - sometimes even in company, in front of friends and colleagues

.

But what is behind this phenomenon that sometimes raises doubts about the quality of the relationship *?

According to the Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung FAZ, sociologist Andrea Newerla recalls the romantic ideal that still shapes the ideas of love relationships.

In the train, countless expectations are imposed on the partner and the urge to merge is also aroused.

The contradiction to this is the most cultivated attitude to assert oneself as an individual in the world.

Being yourself and being a couple: According to Newerla, this can lead to an inner conflict,

especially in phases of lack of distance when it becomes increasingly difficult to remain true to yourself.

"Sometimes borders are drawn brutally," quoted the FAZ Newerla.

Small nasties are to be seen here as an act of demarcation.

Your own limits would be shown in this way, as well as the limits in the partnership.

To provoke the partner and thus promote an emotional bond?

Provocation and arguments can also help overcome moments of distance - temporarily.

Because where teasing remarks at the beginning of a relationship are often classified as

charming and funny

, they can cause irritation for the partner in the process, according to FAZ columnist Elena Witzeck.

"A little malice is part of the relationship life", so the conclusion of Witzeck.

She compares celebrity couples who have their arguments in public with those who only share blissful moments.

Significantly more people are interested in the former - also because they recognize themselves in them, says Witzeck.

So it's allowed to hand out as long as you know you love each other

?

Every couple has to answer that for themselves.

(jg)

* Merkur.de is an offer from IPPEN.MEDIA.

Read more

: Happy in a relationship?

What speaks against a partnership from a medical point of view.

Amazing: lovesickness can have the same effect as a heart attack

Amazing: lovesickness can have the same effect as a heart attack

List of rubric lists: © Tolga Ildun / www.imago-images.de

Source: merkur

All life articles on 2021-04-15

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