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Armin Laschet and Olaf Scholz (r.)
Photo: Michael Kappeler / dpa
Armin Laschet got it.
During the final "meatball or bratwurst?" - and "Claudia Schiffer or Barbara Schöneberger?" Game, he is asked whether he prefers "picture" or the telly.
Both, he thinks, have now dissolved: "'Picture' is now telly".
That could be an alarming development given the trailer for the tabloid brand's becoming TV station.
In quick cuts and in this order you could see left chaos, the flood, left chaos, a burning cathedral, anti-vaccination opponents in Kassel, an explosion somewhere, police in left-wing riots, cobblestones in the hands of left chaos, left chaos in front of burning tires, more chaos, presumably on the left, fire-extinguishing helicopters and police, who fire rubber bullets at left chaos.
Then the face of editor-in-chief Julian Reichelt: "The voice of this country, the voice of the people in this country", the voice of an angry flood victim can be heard, cut back to Reichelt: "And now on television too".
Hard rock music, followed by a huge explosion somewhere.
As quite a few people believe, »Bild« is a perfidious sheet of paper.
But it's not perfidious or professional enough to stomp a German Fox News out of the studio floor.
At least that can be said after the start of »Bild TV« with its »Chancellor Night«.
The journalistic gap between the chalk eaters of the private and the balance specialists of the public law is not the reactionary riot - but for the time being just a simple sporting of politics.
You could also call it exaggeration.
Already in the morning the newspaper was online and at the kiosk with a drum roll for the important evening: "SPD is catching up with the Union: 10:22 pm!", Suggestively illustrated with a mischievous Scholz and a frightened Laschet.
Just as if the general election were a handball game - and the »Chancellor Night« was the decisive extension.
An extension of almost four hours, in which first Armin Laschet is questioned by the shrapnel-proof war reporter Paul Ronzheimer, then Olaf Scholz by the undulating political chief Kai Weise.
Again and again, a “reader jury” made up of “completely normal people” is asked which school grades they would give the rhetorical performance of the candidates.
And then "the people" have their say
A normal person here is the »single mother«, owner of a cocktail bar, which, as moderator Patricia Platiel reiterates dozens of times that evening, often only closes its shop »at 3 o'clock« at night, at »6 o'clock in the morning «To stand on the mat again. The same goes for the butcher "in the fifth generation" whose alarm clock rings at 5.55 am and who "works until 8 o'clock" in the evening. In addition, there is the former boxer Regina Halmich, who used to be an electoral candidate for the CDU, and the former football official Reiner Calmund.
Moderation, direction and tracking shots have something of an »Open Channel Kreuzberg«, but that will still work out.
And it is involuntarily comical when, for example, Ronzheimer looks into the camera for seconds with crumbling importance, but the clip does not come.
Or Platiel says, "I'm handing over to Kai Weise again," who is not five meters away.
"Germany's toughest questions" were promised, asked by "normal people", whoever defines this norm - in case of doubt, the "image" who has "fought" as a lawyer for these normal people for years.
If she does not - unfortunately it happens - normal people have to throw normal people to feed.
Business is business.
"This is where the people speak, on their behalf," with voices caught in the pedestrian zone, and according to surveys by "Bild", "the mood in Germany is on the ground."
Even the butcher and the restaurateur do not want to be pinned down on it, as penetrating as Platiel may ask about school grades for "those at the top".
German flag in case of election victory?
As a special gimmick for Armin Laschet, Ronzheimer unwraps a Germany flag, for the first time in a talk show, since 2015 a fascist was able to provoke Günther Jauch.
The »Bild« just wants to know whether Laschet is a patriot - allegedly, »only 4.9 percent« of normal people believed it.
Laschet lays the fabric out in front of him like a tablecloth.
Ronzheimer hard: "So, you are okay with the German flag?"
Ronzheimer harder: "You promise here: Germany flag in the event of a possible election victory?"
Has Laschet been to Afghanistan himself in the last 20 years?
No?
Why not?
Would he go to the cinema in an international crisis if he were Chancellor?
Ronzheimer wants to know whether Laschet would deport "rapists, criminals, here we are again the images from the surveillance cameras" to Afghanistan.
Laschet does not like to rule this out "forever".
And immediately afterwards he has to teleconference with the citizen who insulted him as a “failure” when he visited the flood and whom “Bild” (the boulevard is good at finding) had found.
Other tough questions are, for example, whether Laschet sometimes ponders when he goes to bed why he is running the candidacy.
Or what exactly he was laughing about in Erftstadt.
If something pops out, it is immediately indexed and faded in white on red: "Laschet: someone made a stupid remark".
Calmun thinks the questions are too nasty
Reiner Calmund doesn't like that at all.
Instead of Laschet, he criticizes Ronzheimer and his "nasty questions".
Today, he says, "a lot of things are not fair," that is how normal people "don't treat each other."
He himself would like to know something about topics that have not yet been addressed and that have no place on this evening: pensions, child and old age poverty, health care, the economy.
Instead, Ronzheimer wants to know how Laschet solves his marital problems, if he has any.
What if his poll numbers drop below 22?
Laschet shrugs his shoulders, "keep fighting", and tries to find an image from sport - of course: "That's the way it is in sport, that's the way it is in football, and that's the way it is in politics too."
For Olaf Scholz, whose arrival at the publishing house is also announced and shown in the picture as if he were the Pope, the script provides a different narrative than that of the loser.
Kai Weise flatters the SPD candidate that he can simply "sit out" the election.
Scholz denies.
Weise accuses him of simply wanting to "sit out" the election.
Scholz says no.
Weise cunningly asks whether Scholz learned to "sit out" with Angela Merkel.
Scholz shakes his head.
Weise persistently sums up: "Sit out, you learned that from Angela Merkel, sit out in terms of content."
It's really tough.
The trap for Scholz doesn't like to snap shut
Scholz is also allowed to do something patriotic with the German flag, he holds it up and talks about German history.
Wise it takes too long and opens its trap: "Would you rather pick it up than the red flag?"
The case may not close, so way begs: "Be
even
emotional.
How do you feel about our national flags, what is on your mind? «.
The only thing missing is the hard question of whether Scholz gets goose bumps when playing the national anthem.
And there she comes: "Goosebumps when playing the national anthem?"
The simplification machine of the boulevard also means that there must be a culprit for everything.
The flood, the pandemic, Afghanistan, everything.
Scholz wedges back: “You want to ask tough questions here, then you have to endure tough answers.
Your question was wrong. "
In fact, the only hard thing about the question is the insistence on responsibilities, at best the demand for resignation.
With Laschet because of his lousy values, with Scholz because of the G20 riots or other scandals - both because of Afghanistan.
You can do it.
Not even the single restaurateur, who works until 3 a.m. and is on the mat at 6 in the morning, can complain to the finance minister about Corona: "I got money from him, I'm biased."
And Calmund rumbled: "A pandemic is a pandemic, what do you want to do?"
After more than two hours, Baerbock is mentioned
It is also Calmund who repeatedly brings the Greens into play (»Dat sin net alles crazy!«) And reminds us that there is still a possible female chancellor on the »Chancellor question«.
Even Regina Halmich explains: Halmich: "We all somehow want to be green, I have the impression," and would like to talk about climate policy - which Olaf Scholz does at the last minute.
At Fox News there is a whole series of experts who all agree and tend to demonize the political opponent.
With »Bild TV«, the SPD and the Union are taken to grips equally, in the name of the voice of the people.
The third option is practically neglected when the desired degree of sharpening is achieved.
The broadcast begins at 7.30 p.m., Annalena Baerbock is named for the first time and last time at 10:37 p.m. Business is business, but so is campaign.