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Tell the child all day how smart and successful he is? You're hurting him - Walla! health

2021-10-15T04:27:18.906Z

Flattering your child all day? You better stop. A new study states that these exaggerated compliments have a detrimental effect on children's development. Here are all the details >>>



  • health

  • parenthood

  • Child health

Tell the child all day how smart and successful he is?

You're hurting him

Too many parents call their child a "prince" or "king," and at the same time too many parents also pour incessant compliments on any nonsense or good behavior.

New research shows that these exaggerated compliments have a detrimental effect on children's development

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  • Children

  • Child Development

Walla!

health

Friday, 15 October 2021, 07:25

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Almost every parent knows the moment the child returns from kindergarten with a drawing (if you can read a few lines of drawing) or with an undefined form of clay - and in return receives a sequence of praise for his character, beauty and talent.

So enough with that.

New research suggests that too many compliments can be detrimental to a child's development.



Researchers warn that too many compliments, even if flattering to that extent is a good thing, can make your child lazy and make him not make an effort.

Professor Lee Elliott Major, a social mobility specialist at the University of Exeter in England, said: "The urge to compliment children on the smallest achievements is something most parents do not face. After all, it is a confirmation for us no less than for them."

More on Walla!

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To the full article

According to Professor Major, "it is so tempting to think that a few positive words will help them, but one of the most difficult lessons for parents who want the best for their children is actually to reduce excessive praise."



His survey of nearly 4,500 people found that 85 percent of them did not realize that too many compliments are detrimental to a child's learning and development.

Professor Major has authored a large research body proving his theory for his new book The Good Parent Educator.

He said: "Praise for an easy task conveys a subconscious message of low expectations."

Do not flatter too much.

Maybe you have champions.

Artium Dolgofiat on the podium (Photo: GettyImages, Laurence Griffiths)

This is of course not the first time that researchers think there is a link between compliments and child development.

A 2014 University of Ohio study published in the journal Psychological Science argued that children who receive the excess of compliments from their parents and other adults around them may be hurt by the statements instead of getting stronger.



The researchers found that naturally parents are more flattering to children whose self-confidence is low.

While children with high self-esteem receive further reinforcement from compliments, those with low self-esteem feel weaker when praise is poured on them and as a result are afraid to face new challenges.

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Professor Major added that 18-year-old British tennis star Emma Reducano, who won the United States Open last month, is a good example of a girl whose parents did not praise her too much.

But we in Israel also have an Olympic gymnast, who seems to have not received too many compliments from his parents during his lifetime.

Artyom Dolgofiat, won a gold medal at the Tokyo Olympics, but his father reminded him that he could have done a more successful exercise.

Think about it the next time you rejoice in front of the child.

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Source: walla

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