Luna Ben Dayan

14/11/2021

Sunday, 14 November 2021, 23:35

How do you identify signs of suicide in teens?

There is no one who has not come across in recent weeks a news item or post on social media that talks about violence, boycott, harassment and bullying.

Behind all these are painful young people who have shared their situation, but there are many who have not.

The professional director of the Sahar Association presents the warning signs that everyone should be aware of

• Share on Facebook

• Share on WhatsApp

• Share on Twitter

• Share on Email

• Share on general

• Comments

  Comments

In recent weeks we have again witnessed a wave of testimonies from young people experiencing abuse and boycott at school, and it seems that the fourth corona wave that has faded has brought with it a wave of violence that is difficult to deal with. This week is Awareness Week for the prevention and treatment of suicide and it is a good invitation to get acquainted with some of the stories that come to the help centers, and also to get to know the warning signs that can prevent loss in young lives.

When Alex (pseudonym) is a 14-year-old boy, sharing about the bullying he has experienced in the past year he opens with the words:

"I can no longer. Can not get up every morning, put a mask on the face, that mother will not see that Thkels, what she can do it will just break her heart, and what I also need it on the conscience. Can not every morning To walk the way to class and feel how with every step I run out of air and the fear arises, then meet them and they are always in a bunch, how the hell are they always in a bunch?!?!, As if waiting for me to arrive, as if only when I arrive "And with them everything turned around. If only the teachers knew how I count the minutes to run to the bathroom, take out the knife and cut because I can not stand this pain inside ...".

More on Walla!

How many people committed suicide in Israel during the Corona period and what does this say about the future?

To the full article

When Little (pseudonym), a 19-year-old, shares the injury she experienced, she opens with the words: (trigger)

"I apologize, it's not pleasant to hear what I describe because you understand .. I deserve it !!! I wanted to feel beautiful and I wanted them to look at me and look !! And then at some point they also touched and then .. So they dragged me out and you know, left me there. They knew no one would hear ... I can not escape the memories, the sights I want to die, no Being here more, it's exhausting me. "

The words displayed are inspired by conversations that took place in the assistance chat, the identifying details were of course blurred. Such and similar stories reach the safe space of Sahar every day - assistance and listening on the net. Under the auspices of the anonymous, the participants share their most hidden stories and sometimes the unthinkable. And be with them in their pain.

Under the auspices of Anonymous, applicants share their most hidden stories.

Young woman holds her head in her hands (Photo: ShutterStock)

In answering an appellant who is dealing with pain, it is important to reach a position of humility.

Understand that we will never know the whole story and we should respond in a qualified and probing manner, and become a kind of receptacle for what the applicant was able to share at a given moment.

In the case of Alex and Little, the first thing we do is try to deduce the severity of the risk, listen actively and empathetically and try to connect to the debilitating pain.

Important warning lights

It is worth knowing that in dealing with a suicidal person there are warning lights that are important to be aware of.

It is important to be aware of the existence of groups at increased risk such as victims of sexual assault, youth in crisis and so on.

It is important to know if there is access to dangerous means?

Is there a planned destination?

Is there a mental struggle in the background?

Who can the applicant share with?

Does he know of any other sources of support in the community?

The feeling of guilt or self-flagellation should never be eliminated, and it is important to give place to emotion even if it hurts.

At the same time, it is important to understand what helped the appellant deal with the pain in similar situations in the past, to whether he was able to share with a caregiver and in general, what are his resilience resources.

More on Walla!

• Is it possible to help someone who has decided to commit suicide?

• Global Report: One person dies every 40 seconds as a result of suicide

• The swimming method that will change your life (and make you shapely)

From the virtual space to the wide world outside

The person who turns to the aid chat comes to him on his own and the very fact that he managed, out of the deep pain, to mobilize the forces for the referral, is appreciative.

Even in everyday life, attempts are sometimes made to share, to expose the pain.

But often the natural tendency is to look away.

Sometimes the exposure will be verbal and sometimes it will actually be in the mirror.

If you see a boy wearing clothes that do not match the season, for example refraining from rolling up his sleeves and exposing his hands, this could indicate self-harm.

When a boy looks neglected, abandoned, cut off from the common space, avoids Messiah and a direct look, tell him "I see you, I see the difficulty. You are important to me, you are not alone!".

Attire can indicate self-harm.

A boy wearing a hoodie (Photo: ShutterStock)

When a girl declares that she is unworthy, that the world would be a better place without her, that she would never be able to recover from the fracture and the pain would not go away. If she falls silent and becomes silent, neglecting things that were once meaningful to her - all of these are warning lights, the girl may really be considering ending her life. Clearly confronted reality. Ask her: Does the thought of death accompany you? Make time emotionally and physically to contain each answer. The confrontational question does not plant ideas, it can, in effect, save lives.

A crisis is a crack in our existence, sometimes a very wide crack, sometimes less so.

There are many factors associated with a sense of self-worth, a sense of being able to contain and cope.

In the end, even if it is difficult to contain, it is important to remember that people grow out of a crisis.

The journey is never easy but many times it is worth it.

It invites attention to the present moment, creates an opportunity to identify new opportunities, meet good people along the way, get to know myself more and more, pave paths to a reality worth living despite the story, by its side, through it - and less within it.

• health

• parenthood

• Child health

Tags

• Suicides

• Suicide

• Teens