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Here's why the end-of-year celebrations depress some 

2021-12-16T14:11:38.028Z


Disappointing reality, social pressure, nostalgia for childhood ... While the end of year celebrations are for some synonymous with happiness, for others they rhyme with depression. Two psychologists explain this phenomenon and provide their avenues for reflection.


It's a fact, not everyone is overwhelmed by the traditional wave of holiday love.

It even happens that gifts, the six-course meal, family reunions and party favors on New Year's Eve are pet peeves and depress more than one.

They are called "natalophobic", understand Christmas anxiety, or anti-New Year. How and why can this period so undermine morale?

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A disappointing reality

It must be said, there is no shortage of time to think of the perfect gifts that we are going to slip under the tree.

Not to mention the garlands and other Christmas accessories installed in the streets from November.

The whole problem would also be there: “This period is often fantasized.

We only imagine the grandiose and the magical.

Reality inevitably comes to disappoint this vision, because nothing is ever perfect ”, explains Samuel Dock, clinical psychologist and author of

Inconvenient Praise of Psychoanalysis

(1).

The fantasy arises from what the media convey.

"It is normal that our end-of-year celebrations do not look like advertisements or films, they are staged and this perfection is unattainable", confirms Boris Charpentier, psychologist and coach from the outset.

Not to mention that this waiting is not really rewarded in practice: “the holidays last very little time and go by very quickly.

We quickly lose the object of the fantasy and frustration can then arise ”, indicates Samuel Dock.

To listen to: the editorial podcast

The injunction to happiness

Even disappointed by the speed at which the month of December is crumbling, only one watchword reigns: happiness. Bathing in the incandescent light of love, overflowing with plans for the future, laughing out loud and being a bon vivant: such is the list of the perfect behavior to adopt. “Indeed, a certain one-upmanship leads to competition in the party. We are expected to end the year in apotheosis. It's a constraint and a real social norm, ”laments Samuel Dock. You have to give the best of yourself, including in your family role, "to be the perfect mother who has thought of the aunt's favorite dessert and who has set a beautiful table: this is what is expected." You have to surpass yourself in your own role, ”says Boris Charpentier. It is clear that this is true. Be a littlemoody on New Years Eve and you'll see if one of your parents doesn't point it out to you ...

Doing nothing at home reflects an image of social distressSamuel Dock

This societal pressure also encourages everyone not to be left alone.

on Christmas Day, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.

“There is stress in the organization of this period.

There is an obligation to do something.

Doing nothing at home sends back a very negative image, or even social distress.

While being alone the other evenings of the year is not a problem, ”observes psychologist Samuel Dock.

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40 photos

A nostalgia for childhood

The cause of this wave to the soul may be due to childhood.

Has holiday magic ever worked better than it did on kids?

When one grows up, this fairyland obviously disappears.

“You never find her in her life.

Once an adult, you know the price of all this and nothing is magic in the end.

For this moment to be remarkable, you have to organize it and make it yourself remarkable.

Some people find it difficult to mourn this disillusionment, ”confirms Samuel Dock.

From early childhood, the end of the year has a special flavor that we do not want to lose.

According to Boris Charpentier, one should not draw a parallel between children's tales and reality, otherwise disappointment is assured.

The solutions

Adult, we know the price of all this, nothing is magic in the end Samuel Dock

Once the celebrations are over, how can you avoid falling into this temporary depression?

First, it is essential to be guilty.

“It's okay not to want to celebrate the year that is coming to an end.

There is no shame in feeling negative emotions.

I think that is inescapable and that everyone will feel this in their life, ”says Samuel Dock.

So, if the urge fails to roam the streets in search of the ideal gift and an evening spent at home in front of a film catches our eye, “we listen to each other.

There is no point in forcing yourself, there is no point in playing the happy supermen, you have to assert your desire above all, ”encourages the professional.

Another hypothesis: think about reviewing the way you commemorate the period. “Taking back the event is a good thing. Do not hesitate to change habits, like going on vacation, for example, ”suggests Boris Charpentier. The latter emphasizes that this phenomenon is common and not isolated: “a lot more people than we think suffer during the holidays. We must not be afraid to talk about it for fear of being misunderstood ”. Conclusion, we forget the TV movies with sumptuously decorated three-meter-high fir trees, romantic encounters in the snow, and family hugs in deer-headed sweaters. And we set off on new adventures. Or not.

(1) Samuel Dock is notably the author of

Le Nouveau Malaise dans la civilization

, Éd.

Plon, € 19.90, and

Indocile Praise of Psychoanalysis

, Éd.

Philippe Rey, 20 euros.

This article, originally published in December 2017, has been updated.

The editorial team advises you

  • Second-hand gifts: pleasure of giving, joy of receiving?

  • Christmas: 40 beauty gift ideas to offer without making a mistake

  • The golden rules for sending New Year's greetings tactfully and effectively

Source: lefigaro

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