A person within himself: How do you differentiate between introversion and social anxiety?

They prefer intimacy and quiet over multi-participant social gatherings and divert most of their energy inward, but that does not mean that introverted children are not sociable.

This will help them integrate into society

Walla!

health

08/01/2022

Saturday, 08 January 2022, 22:50

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Introvertedness is an innate and acquired trait, and in fact it is one of the central axes of characterizing a person's personality (extroverted or introverted).

An introvert is focused inward, and inwardly will direct most of his energies.

On the other hand, the extrovert will tend to externalize his feelings and being and most of his energies will be directed outwards - towards society and his environment.

Introverted people will often prefer a calm and spacious environment;

They will almost always prefer the intimacy of a close person over a multi-participant event, social gathering or party.

But that does not mean they are not sociable.

On the contrary - often, introverted people will have higher emotional intelligence, attentive, sensitive and more caring for their environment.

Many of us will find it easier and more pleasant in their vicinity than alongside extroverted people who attract attention, sometimes loudly or insensitively.

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To the full article

Introverted people are quiet and have limited social involvement, although they tend to be lonely, but they are not alone - there are many like them.

In fact about 30 percent of the population are introverted.

It is important to say that they do not necessarily suffer from it.

"An introvert is often someone whose inner world is very rich. He likes to be with himself, and it does not bother him. It often has benefits," explains Pazit Goldstein, coordinator of the Central Region and facilitator of the Cyclamen Association, which helps people with difficulty and social anxiety. Are internalized.

Tend to be lonely, but they are not alone - introverts make up about a third of the population (Photo: Giphy)

When internalized becomes a problem

As mentioned, introversion, as well as extroversion, is not defined as a problem. Susan Kane, author of the book "Silence - The Power of the Introverted, in a World That Never Stops Speaking", clarifies that the perception we grew up with, according to which extroversion is the default and should be straightened out - is neither right nor desirable. She gives examples of successful and inspiring introverts, and describes how in a world where the value of the introverts is underestimated - the loss is entirely ours. Still, introverts often suffer from a loud and extroverted society that does not know how to contain them and often does not know how to appreciate the quiet, creativity, intelligence and uniqueness they bring with them. This may also produce an experience of rejection or severe feelings of the introvert towards oneself.

The questions that need to be asked are whether the person was interested in joining - and avoided? Is he refraining voluntarily, or because he lacks the strength or the sense of ability? Is he enjoying, or experiencing frustration and loneliness? Is his quality of life impaired?

When a person wants but does not believe in his ability to take part in trivial social situations, criticizes and judges himself harshly and is convinced that his environment behaves in this way - and as a result of all these few or avoids social encounters in which he would rather take part - his mental and emotional well-being is impaired.

The notion that extroversion is the default and should be straightened out is incorrect.

Shy boy (Photo: ShutterStock)

The connection between shyness and introversion and social anxiety is the moment when difficulty and avoidance are defined, and here Goldstein offers a warm recommendation - not to neglect.

"Studies show that between the stage of recognizing signs of social anxiety and asking for help, an average of 10 years or more passes. 10 years of preventable social and personal costs," she says.

what can we do?

Experiencing social anxiety tends to have specific thought patterns ("I am not equal," "I am not wanted," "I can not"), which results in the same behavior of avoidance. The process of overcoming social anxiety lies in changing the limiting thought patterns, in thoughts that allow for more experience, daring and positive experience.

The key word is exposure, a client concept from the world of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and applied in treatment groups, offered by Rakefet. Exposures are the practice of everyday social interactions, which outside the group are threatening and daunting for those experiencing social anxiety. In the group, which is perceived by them as a protected space, the participants practice, on the same interactions, in an experiential and playful way. The practice is of course carried out gradually and with close and sensitive guidance. Once they make their way together, in groups, they gain confidence, experience successes, and then it is easier and more pleasant to dare and integrate into daily life even outside of groups.

Shy and introverted people dealing with social anxiety find in groups the address to a safe and secure social space, allowing them to practice interpersonal and social communication with their peers, strengthening their social abilities and skills, and practicing exposures to everyday situations in a moderate and gradual manner.

Their tendency to be solitary, to underestimate and even to avoid social interactions, makes them less exposed to social situations.

The groups allow members to "train and strengthen the social muscle", meet people who are afraid and feel like them, and expand their social circle, while giving a sense of competence and self-confidence.

Group practice allows for "training the social muscle."

Teenagers in the classroom, those photographed have nothing to do with the article (Photo: ShutterStock)

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In addition, participation in the peer group develops in its members a kind of single pride and contributes to self-acceptance - when the members look at each other and can identify benefits that were difficult for them to see for themselves. The groups are led by skilled and sensitive facilitators who are qualified to lead groups of children and youth and undergo additional training in the association to work with social anxiety.

The essence of change is the replacement of patterns of avoidance in practice, exposure and coping. The change allows the introvert to avoid less and connect more. Even an innate trait as introverted, and even though it expresses a basic and inherent character trait in who we are - expandable, and being human being a social creature - such a change can significantly improve the quality of life of most people.

At the beginning of January, the world celebrates 'International Introductory Day' - a special day that focuses on the human and social aspect of introvertedness, and the aspiration of introverted people to be accepted and understood and to take part.

A variety of organizations around the world mark the day, and encourage raising awareness and turning a positive spotlight on quiet, introverted people, to give them space and the right to have their voices heard.

There is an important social statement here: the profit in creating an inclusive and diverse society that has room for both the quiet and the introverted is ours.

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• anxiety

• social anxiety

• parenthood