Feel like you're on the edge?

This is how you will deal with burnout in parenting

Full time, around the clock with no vacations or sick days - is it any wonder that the role of parenting wears us out so much?

How do you deal with this and charge the batteries?

5 tips to help you overcome parental burnout

Dana said, in collaboration with JAMA

11/01/2022

Tuesday, 11 January 2022, 06:55 Updated: 07:46

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When we encounter the term “burnout” one of the first images that will cross our minds will be of overworked factory workers, doctors specializing in long shifts and possibly minimum wage waiters. But complete burnout can also occur indoors, even before we get out of bed.

Because it's true that interns work hard, but what about our role as parents? After all, this is a long-term, full-time career, around the clock without vacations and sick days.

Raising children alongside joy and satisfaction, can be a very eroding role. Parenting is often accompanied by situations of stress and anxiety, it puts an emotional and physical burden on us with exposure to fatigue and flooding. When these feelings are experienced over time they can cause symptoms of burnout such as: poor mood, impatience, loss of pleasure, difficulty thinking clearly, "short fuse" and irritability, decreased physical health and even depression.

In later stages, parental burnout can take on even more frightening forms, such as sleep disorders, health problems, increased alcohol consumption, suicidal thoughts, marital conflicts and even child abuse and neglect.

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Emotional and physical overload with exposure to fatigue and flooding.

Worn mother (Photo: ShutterStock)

As young parents, we try to navigate the physical, emotional, and psychological changes that come with childbirth as we raise a baby for the first time. And if we do not have enough help, our social network is loosening, we have a career waiting for us, financial worries, some background of anxiety and aspiration for perfectionism - erosion just around the corner.

First of all, know that you are not really alone, studies show that about 60% of parents report burnout. You need and deserve help, this reminder will be the first and crucial step towards getting back to yourself. Here are 5 important tips to help you overcome burnout:

We know that perfection is unattainable, but we continue to pursue it.

Remember that whenever we set ourselves a goal that is too high, that is constantly changing, we begin to erode.

Try to break free from unrealistic standards (that the baby sleeps all night, that I enjoy him all the time, that the house is tidy, that there is always cooked food, that the laundry is folded, that there is no screen time, that he knows all the names of the animals and achieves all developmental milestones ).

Instead, try to relate to your unique abilities, strengths and talents in the present moment.

It's never too late to adopt the mentality of a "good enough mother," a parenthood that stands in direct contrast to the "perfect parent."

Because we can not be okay all the time, and that's really okay.

So the laundry will not always be folded - release it.

A pile of laundry (Photo: ShutterStock)

Setting expectations with the partner

whether we like it or not, the role of parenting brings us back to traditional family patterns, the main burden is on the mothers. It starts with pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding and continues to other aspects. Unequal contributions to the physical, mental and emotional load can affect the degree of burnout. It is important to set expectations, divide tasks and tasks, reduce loads and ask for help.

What would you say to a friend who is experiencing a crisis or burnout? You would probably compromise, empathize and offer support - you deserve the same treatment from yourself. Self-criticism is detrimental to our mental and physical health, negative self-talk makes us feel ineffective, lonely, weak and unworthy, the stress hormone (cortisol) rises and takes a huge toll on our bodies. Self-compassion, on the other hand, activates a completely different system, it raises sedative hormones (oxytocin), increases self-esteem and a sense of ability.

To begin to embrace this new mindset we must change the way we speak to ourselves:

burnout says, "I am not the mother I should be," and compassion says, "I try my best."

Erosion says, "I'm going to fuck my kids," and compassion says, "It's okay to feel insecure. I'm new to this."

Divide the tasks and tasks between you in a balanced way.

Parents and children (Photo: ShutterStock)

4. Cultivate support networks

A lot changes in our relationships as we become parents, friends move away and priorities change.

But we need to challenge ourselves and nurture friendships even if we do not always feel like it.

Need to update, get interested, order and connect.

You need to get to know the parents in the neighborhood, the neighbors and the community.

Getting out of our comfort zone to assimilate relationships is a great step against burnout.

Before you roll your eyes and remember the endless to-do list and the demands from the very cute and exhausting kids, remember - breaks are more than necessary. It has been found that regular breaks reduce the risk of work accidents - the lives of employees are important, right? And parents who take care of other people around the clock do not need a break? Obviously foam baths, spas, vacations and weekends in Paris will not hurt, but the key is to get back to basics: sit on the terrace for 10 minutes, say "yes" to things that interest you, say "no" to things you do not want to do, call a friend once a week, listen to music , Go to bed early, watch comedies, producing time for yourself can be simpler than you think.

The Jama app was established with the aim of addressing mothers of babies from birth to age three, and centralizing for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.

All the content in the app "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to its developmental stages, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.

The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.

Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/

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• parents and children