Things that should simply not be said to new mothers

"Why are you not breastfeeding?"

"Why is he without socks" and of course the classic - "When will you make him or her - brother or sister?"

We have collected the sentences, questions, thoughts and opinions that you really should not hear after your child

Dana said, in collaboration with JAMA

12/01/2022

Wednesday, 12 January 2022, 06:00 Updated: 07:24

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The people who fail to hold their thoughts and say whatever comes to their mind can bring any new mom, even unintentionally, to tears and guilt.

After all, she is inundated with hormones anyway, dealing with a new situation and a new baby, lack of sleep and a lot of self-criticism - why does she have to deal with outside criticism or permanence that could undermine her?

If not recently your child, hopefully you are not going to hear external "noises", but if that happens, you should show those people with the disturbing statements this article - these are the things that just do not say to a new mother:

More on Walla!

Feelings of guilt are also born with the second baby.

This is how you will deal with them

In collaboration with JAMA

Why are you not breastfeeding him?

First of all, your baby's diet is not for anyone else.

If someone is interested in what the baby is feeding on it still passes, but passing on a critique of your choice not to breastfeed?

It's really not anymore.

Many mothers give up breastfeeding for their own reasons, for one it did not work, for another it did not work.

No one should hear such a question with a covert critique within it of the choice not to breastfeed.

This is relevant for nosy people who are not close to you and also for mother-in-law, aunt or sister-in-law.

"Why without socks?"

Baby's feet (Photo: ShutterStock)

Why is he without socks?

Because that's how you decided.

You do not freeze your baby, and if you took off his socks, you will probably make sure that he does not suffer from a cold.

And maybe they even fell and in a moment you will find another pair to dig for him?

He is very small / big for his age

You rummage as a breastfeeding nurse in your free time and we did not know?

Who is your name to determine if the baby is too big or too small for his age?

Maybe the mother is just dealing with a weight gain that is too slow / fast and this question presses her on sensitive places?

It is best to keep this thought to yourself.

He will get used to ...

He will get used to the hands, he will get used to falling asleep while breastfeeding, he will get used to you jumping on a physio ball ... There is no shortage of resolute determination from people about your Newborn's "habits".

You are currently doing what works for you and meeting your baby's needs, and you really do not need to hear outside voices (by the way, if you ask any baby development specialist, they are also really wrong).

Do what works for you.

Breastfeeding mother (Photo: ShutterStock)

What does he already know how to do?

It's okay to be interested with the mother about what her baby is doing, but there is a way to ask that.

Phrasing such as "what he already knows how to do" can directly activate her "what not", so it is better that you be more specific and sensitive if you really want to know.

For example: Does he make eye contact?

He flipped over?

and so'.

Your reaction after the mother's response should be factual, so that you do not make her feel that her baby is delayed.

Come on now work on a little fireplace for him

You're still recovering from pregnancy and childbirth, is that really what you need to hear?

of course not.

There is hardly a question more intrusive and cheeky than this, and even if it is said with humor there are those who will not take it lightly at all.

It is better not to interfere and wait for the news when you arrive, and probably not in the near future.

In conclusion, postpartum mothers are very sensitive so it is not worth adding more things to worry about because of them.

It is sometimes allowed to pass criticism (depending on who), it is allowed to express an opinion, but it is very important (!) To do so with sensitivity, tact and understanding that not everything can be said without filtering.

The Jama app was established with the aim of addressing mothers of babies from birth to age three, and centralizing for them content, activities, tips from experts and videos that will accompany them throughout this challenging period.

All the content in the app "grows" together with the baby and is precisely adapted to its developmental stages, so that the mothers receive only what is relevant to them and interests them at any given moment.

The Jama app is the place for mothers in Israel to meet and get to know other mothers around them, and create new and exciting friendships in the fascinating journey.

Search us on Google: https://app.jama.co.il/

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