Philippe Gabilliet, professor of psychology: "Anticipating the best has incredible healing power"

The fifth wave, the media storms, the ocean of plastic, the torrents of fake news and aggressiveness, the tidal wave of Gafa (Google, Apple, Facebook, Amazon)…, and here we are drowned under a deluge negative waves.

If you add the night falling at 5 p.m. and the shortage of paper, there is enough to succumb to great discouragement.

The French paradox has struck again... If we are to believe the experts at the Jean-Jaurès Foundation, the party is over.

Even young people would rather spend their evenings in front of their screens than in a bar.

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It is the civilization of the cocoon, which privatizes happiness, the quest for reassuring safe places.

The sociologist Jean-Pierre Le Goff even speaks of "aquoibonism", of physical and psychological withdrawal.

Society would be tired, would suffer from collective asthenia, shortness of breath with, as a result, resignation and disinvestment.

The most exhausted?

Women under 35.

And yet, according to the Cepremap Well-Being Observatory, we would feel as happy, if not more, than in 2019. And we are not lacking in resources!

Some ways to find the desire to want.

The strategy of optimism

Philippe Gabilliet, professor of psychology at ESCP-Business School in Paris, lecturer, founder of the League of Optimists of France (1), invites us to a positive attitude.

Why are the French brooding?

We are the only country in the world where optimism is caricatured, decried, even mocked.

It has always been explained to children that the marker of intelligence is doubt, skepticism.

If it's going well, it's suspicious, and if it's going badly, there's a conspiracy.

Certainly, we find the optimist nice, but we reproach him for his naivety or for being a fanatical egoist (how to be well in such a sick world?).

When in fact, everything is not so bad and a lot of great things are happening.

Is it just positive thinking?

The mistake is to confuse optimism with good humor. It's not having bananas twenty-four hours a day. It is a very documented mental attitude, which has been the subject of extensive studies in social psychology. The optimist is not a positive person. He can be, of course, but he is above all someone who, in the face of difficult events, will try to do the best with reality, will approach unforeseen or complicated situations in the most active and most as confident as possible. In a world of uncertainty, it is always in our interest to bet on the improvement of things. Of course, it's risky. We can be wrong, but on a human scale, what's the point of being absolutely right? The most important thing is to know how to create energy and desire. Anticipating the best has incredible healing power.What kills energy is the feeling of helplessness.

do's and don'ts

YES

စ Zoom in on everything that continues to go well despite the difficulties.

စ Frantically seek out one's resources, one's strengths, one's means of action, one's leeway.

စ Prepare without planning everything.

စ Agree to branch off.

The unexpected is often a gift.

စ Be ready.

Install an intention, a desire, a dream, an absolute.

And open the door when luck knocks on the door.

NO

စ Avoid dangerous, leaden sentences. " What's the point ? “There's no reason it should work. " " It's no use. "Anyway, I'm never lucky..."

စ Wanting to act when you can't do anything about it.

စ Ruminate.

စ In case of conflict, stop looking for a culprit, it does not help. Instead, ask yourself: “Basically, what is it like to live (to work, to be friends) with me? An often life-saving self-assessment.

It seems easier for some than for others…

Optimism is innate. We are born with two circuits, that of hope and that of fear. Then, education and events take care of setting us up, but we are all optimists without knowing it. Life is all about solutions. They are not necessarily perfect, brilliant and final. Let's accept it. Optimism is very green. It is the only renewable physical and mental energy that increases as we share it. We sometimes need to nourish ourselves with positive illusions. The only case where optimism is inadvisable is when there is a vital risk (for oneself, others, a company, etc.), when one is faced with a situation that one does not control at all, or when we risk hurting someone.

(1) Author of

, Éditions Saint-Simon, and

, Éditions J'ai lu.

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