In October 2020, the British singer Lily Allen went there with her provocation: “I masturbate, and you?”, She launched.
Shock slogan to sell Liberty, its first sex toy made in collaboration with the German brand Womanizer.
A month later, the top Cara Delevingne followed suit by becoming co-owner and creative advisor of Lora DiCarlo, a start-up centered around female pleasure.
Just like Dakota Johnson, the American actress seen in
Fifty Shades of Grey,
investor and co-director of Maude, a brand of erotic toys designed like sculptures by Brancusi.
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Womanizer: the story of the sex toy that is revolutionizing female pleasure
Sextech gurus
Since then, not a month or so without a star being associated with one or the other of these "wellness tools" - their new ethically correct name - such as the actress and singer Demi Lovato announcing on Instagram the creation of its own label.
Yesterday, the stars launched their line of make-up or hair care.
Today, they are investing in
"sextech"
(technological innovations to improve and diversify our sexualities), a branch of a larger market called
sexual wellness,
sexual well-being.
A trend that Gwyneth Paltrow, Oscar-winning actress and guru of good living, had anticipated by selling yoni eggs in 2017 to "increase sexual energy and pleasure" (but also, supposedly, to prevent depression... This which will earn him trouble with the law and a fine of 145,000 dollars), “vagina-scented” or “orgasm” candles and sex toys on his Goop site.
In video, the Uber Eats teaser for the Super Bowl, Gwyneth Paltrow tasting her vagina-scented candle
Last October, the actress-entrepreneur caused a stir by launching a reality show on Netflix,
Sex, Love & Goop,
which aims to help couples in crisis find fulfillment in their intimate, romantic and sexual lives.
Surrounded by sexologists and erotic wellness coaches, Gwyneth Paltrow encourages frank discussions on topics such as the female orgasm and how education can influence our sexuality.
This new program shows that today, more than ever, people care about sexual well-being and are willing to spend time and money on it.
A booming market
Sexual well-being, the new pillar of health, with yoga and meditation?
Until now under-exploited, also poorly considered, the market - which includes books, apps, products such as condoms, sex toys, massage oils and others - is exploding.
Estimated at 30 billion dollars in 2020, it should reach the impressive figure of 45 billion dollars in 2026. In this great boom, we find everything: quality "pleasure products", such as cheaper sex toys, which sometimes pose health risks… But investor interest in sexual wellness brands, especially those aimed at women, continues to grow.
And confinement would even have accelerated things: to counter the sluggish libido,
online sales of erotic products have relieved many purchases.
In France, sales of Womanizer, a precursor in terms of clitoral stimulators, for example, jumped 153%.
Have these new practices lifted taboos and liberated sexuality?
“In recent years, women have taken hold of their sexuality, and there is a whole very positive social discourse on the subject, notes sexologist Laura Beltran, co-author, with Heidi Beroud-Poyet, of
Women and their sex
(Éd. payot).
It's new and it's encouraging."
According to Jessica Pirbay, sex therapist, author of
Powerful & Orgasmic
(Éd. Leduc), the use of sex toys can allow you to discover your body in a different way.
“To go into areas that we wouldn't explore, because we don't dare or don't know how to do it.
Within the couple, the complicity of outings to the restaurant or the cinema existing less with the Covid-19, it found itself, for some, in sexual games.
Within the couple, complicity ended up, for some, in sexual gamesJessica Pirbay, sex therapist
New injunctions?
However, the two practitioners warn against a discourse that could prove to be too prescriptive in the long run.
By capturing the
sexual wellness market,
the stars, in particular, ease the complex, democratize practices and encourage a certain erotic curiosity, but can also create new injunctions: “Never without my sex toy?”
“In some of my patients, there is guilt, explains Jessica Pirbay.
They say to themselves: "I've been with my husband for thirteen years, I've never done erotic massages, never used toys, I have a poor sexuality"... and they burst into tears.
It can be guilt-inducing to think that you need all these stimulations to have a fulfilling sexuality.
However, it is not the case.
And within couples, the use of sex toys can also create additional tensions: either it's the man who doesn't agree, or it's the woman who doesn't want to, and everyone is frustrated that the partner does not want "
Our selection of gifts for the women we love for Valentine's Day
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Heeled moccasins, Bettina Vermillon, €695.
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Bettina Vermilion / Photo press
Our selection of gifts for the women we love for Valentine's Day - Louis Vuitton
Scented candle, Louis Vuitton, €175.
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Louis Vuitton / Photo press
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Triangle lace bralette, Mango, €25.99.
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Mango / Photo press
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Bleus d'Ailleurs tea box, Hermès, €870.
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Hermès / Photo press
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On the ground, everything would not be as rosy as the salmon-colored vibrator brandished by rapper Cardi B. in her clip
Up
, as product placement.
And how many sex toys quickly unpacked, quickly forgotten, gather dust in bedside table drawers?
“With this normalization of the discourse which advocates that everyone should have a fulfilling sexuality, we put pressure on couples, assures Laura Beltran.
A few years ago, I received many women who consulted for anorgasmia.
Today, they know what a clitoris is and how it works.
On the other hand, I receive more and more people who say: "Well, I don't want to make love."
The high technicality and efficiency of sex toys make it possible to trigger an orgasm quickly, so there has been an improvement in pleasure, but now it's the desire that is failing.
To desire is to miss, to be able to imagine, to arouse, to be in eroticism,
sensuality, and we are in a society where we want everything, right away, and where everything, or almost everything, is just a click away.
And I get more and more women and men who would rather watch a series on Netflix than make love."
I receive more and more women and men who would rather watch a series on Netflix than make loveLaura Beltran, sex therapist
A body and… a brain
Could the possibility of reaching orgasm by activating the
on
function of her sexual toy have tired, by force, the enthusiasm of couples?
In their defense, the stress of everyday life and the mental load for women, the fatigue and the concerns accumulated in these times of pandemic, teleworking and the constant presence of the partner at your side, are, of course, just as much responsible for this wear and tear of desire.
But perhaps the idea of "sexual well-being", with its hygienist and performance imaginary, needs to be qualified: we are not only bodies, but also beings with a memory, a conscience, traumas or conditionings that it would be necessary to deconstruct to access greater sexual serenity.
Listen: the editorial staff podcast
“Many women have a heavy background that their mother or grandmother passed on to them concerning sexuality, says Jessica Pirbay.
There are even things that we don't think about because we tell ourselves that they have no impact on sexuality, such as the fact that our mother never hugged us or that our parents never never kissed in front of us, or the phrases we were told as a child: "Shut your legs", "Don't wear a short skirt", or "Don't talk too loudly".
All this impacts the future sexuality of the woman, who will be stuck or will not dare to express herself in pleasure.
And requires going through deconditioning to find a liberated, powerful and fulfilled sexuality.
Because the first sex toy, let's not forget, is first and foremost our brain.
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