How will you help children develop patience and the ability to postpone gratification?

Patience, restraint and rejection of gratifications are a very important part of skills, attributes and habits that will help children prepare for and succeed in real life.

This is how you will help them do it

Daniel Srenetsky

01/03/2022

Tuesday, 01 March 2022, 06:10 Updated: 07:21

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Like everyone else, you need a lot of patience.

Patience for children, spouse, parents, service centers, bazaar queues and sometimes even yourself.

Have you ever stopped to think about how much you practice practicing rejection?

, a certified parent counselor at the Adler Institute and the Ministry of Education, argues that patience, restraint and rejection of gratifications are a very important part of the skills, qualities and habits that will help your children prepare for and succeed in real life.

This is always true but especially today, in the instant generation, where there is the ability to accept everything - here and now.

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How does deferring gratification affect success in life?

Walter Michelle, a psychologist at Stanford University, and his students conducted a test in the 1960s on compulsory kindergarten children - the marshmallow test: they put each child individually in a room, served him one marshmallow and told him that if he could resist without touching the marshmallow, he could get Another marshmallow.

Two-thirds of the children could not resist and a third of the children who managed to resist received additional marshmallows.

Does your child know how to resist?

Child eats (Photo: ShutterStock)

After several decades they examined the same group of children who grew up and found that those who managed to hold back became more satisfied, less frustrated children, with higher achievements and better mental health.

Conclusion: If children know how to reject gratifications, they will be able to cope and be more successful in life

so what to do?

Understanding

- First, understand that this is an acquired and not an innate ability, so it is possible to train the restraint muscle in the brain.

- Believe in your children that they can and are able to resist patience without feeling sorry for them, despite the frustration that results from it.

- Allow children to practice rejecting gratifications.

If they ask for a glass of water (and are not physically able to take it themselves), instead of pouring it for them right away, ask them to wait until you have finished the action you are doing at that moment.

Teach them social skills like playing turns, waiting for their turn and more.

- Encourage the process and do not criticize the end result.

Whenever the children were able to wait, even if it was to exercise a little time, do not address the inability to resist or cry and the frustration created by it, but rather encourage the (even the shortest) time they were able to sit back and wait.

In this way you will raise the value of the children in their own eyes, help them to believe that they are capable and inflate in them the courage to practice again and again in rejecting gratifications, which as stated will be very useful to them in the future.

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• Children

• patience

• parenthood